Bury me 10 feet deep put me to sleep like the rest of them; you know we only ever get the best surprises like flooded deserts and loss of autonomy; and things kept hidden are only half-unwritten – why can’t you move more carefully? You can see this bruising, this catastrophe – Why don’t you be a little nicer with her and try your hand at a softer mental obstacle course? Maybe your shoulders wouldn’t strive so hard if you walked on your feet instead, but you’re grabbing and grasping and letting your fingers direct the thoughts in your head; parasitic infestations ruined all three of my homes, but you’ll find the evidence was walled by fire; and ash can hide most secret pains – so lull me to sleep with the promise of reconstruction, but damnation is looming and I’m trying in vain to un-curse these nightmares, before they further entangle me; your empathy shows when I count to three, and then swallows self-pity and recedes again – Why do these cycles never end?
God made me into a marionette He pulled me from the dust He scooped me out of coals. He breathed life into my belly and now they call me animated earth. He carved my bones from alabaster stones long buried under piles of pine needles and leaves He sang songs of Light and Life and put them in my ears and taught me all the words and cut me silver keys. now i stand up tall like the Lighthouse of Alexandria or the Colossus of Rhodes i take showers under jungle waterfalls full of orchid petals and with angel fish climbing up the rock walls. my head and all my limbs are hanging by golden silken strings and threads and where I walk the moss and lichens grow. He fashioned my eyes from glass blown over the hot geysers and sulfur springs of thermopylae and the salt basin dunes. He plucked my pupils from the pregnant blackness of the Void. He struck them over steel and flint and the sparks made it bright enough to see. my heart is a time-piece keeping minutes with its beats like a great shadow cast behind a sphere. the elements once kept me apart from me my identity, I was a hungry ghost walking around town like a hypodermic voodoo doll. everytime I turned around I tripped over another basket full of rattlesnakes hissing from both ends. I gave up and crossed my heart and gave it over to the chemical egregore hoping I would die while somehow staying alive and learning how to fly away home- so i could leave all the piles of ashes and teeth alone and maybe plant a rose garden.
but God made of me a marionette strung me up from strings of silken gold. He breathes for me, and dances me to the music of the spheres and now the whole planet is a Hanging Garden of the Fallen Babylon and now I keep snakes as exotic pets and as company when i’m lonely and for afternoon tea.
It’s like the only time I can see outside of this hole Is when I’m trying to make sure others don’t see That I’m digging it deeper And Deeper And Deeper And falling Further And Further And Further Until I can’t get out
leave me in the garden to die. i will not let you save me- leave me alone with the dead leaves of autumn, with the coldness of winter settling in my bones. i don't want to be saved- leave me along the dead and decayed and come back to bury me in the spring. i have left to find death, to pick it's flowers and to finally rest.
One day I will meet my end. Will your face fade from my eyes? I lay buried with you in my heart. The circling sun and moon come together in a line. Abstinence and honesty lose their grip. I die bit by bit seeing the quiver of your lip. O beloved, I implore you to give me your heart. Standing on the other shore, longing to reach you.
is this what it feels like to be a fossil in the making? to have pebbles, sand and grit swept slowly on top of me. not to mention the crushing and deafening of miles of water pressing it all down to bury me.
but sometimes sometimes there's relief and light when someone digs through the weight to reveal the shadow of the creature that once lay there. but then that husk is reduced to cinders in a mountain of others. and i guess you could say that 'power station' is adulthood. or life.