I know her by name.
I know her by face.
Only, I don't even
know her at all.
I think I've seen her
once,
and for once
I wasn't disappointed.
We are so much alike
only she has brighter eyes.
We are so much alike;
So, I figured
from black and white
I could be pastel--
faded bright.
We are so much alike
only she drinks psalms
like the preacher's wine.
Before I abandoned religion
I used to kneel
and break bread every Sunday, too.
So, I figured
I could still be as holy
if I clapped my hands together
and whispered litanies
on candles burning outside chapels--
faded light.
We are so much alike
in the way we love
books and music,
anything aesthetic.
But, I am wrapped in tin foil
and she dons silk and laces.
Same filling,
different faces.
And kid, I wouldn't blame you
for craving
the same flavor
in different packaging.
We are so much alike
only, compared to her
porcelain China doll skin,
I am a witch's voodoo,
covered in pins and needles
piercing rough skin,
a cheap imitation--
a fake.
We are so much alike
only I'm lying
when I say we are
because she is pastel
paint in coffee shops
and I am crayola
vandals on the sidewalk.
And let's admit pretty
isn't anything I would
ever be.
It makes me sick.
Because I'm not like her.
I'm never going to be just
pretty;
Pity, that's all they ever want us to be.
and there you were
in all of your broken beauty
under a blanket, covered in music
A shell on the beach
shines with brilliance against the sand
it holds all the colors of the world
in every beautiful band on its surface
and inside, it echoes the rolling ocean
whose song its always lived beside
But the rain batters the innocent coast
and cruel winds scramble its peace,
boasting its power over that
brilliant little shell
Its surface dulls in the storm
and its smooth colorful form becomes distorted with cracks
all its hues, it wishes were subdued
it wishes it could hide under the cold sand forever
and inside,
the ocean is still
frighteningly,
achingly,
despairingly,
deadly
still.
i can recall these regular tendencies,
all the way until my seventies.
i adore your little habits,
like smiling—with teeth sticking out like a rabbit’s.
daily recollections of your actions,
pop up in my mind like a distraction.
like moments when you cover your mouth as you laugh,
i perfectly capture them like a photograph.
like when your eyes turn into crescents,
no matter the time; past or present.
the way the corners of your mouth are curled,
it makes my heart swirl and twirl,
for it is as precious as a pearl.
the faint laugh you produce,
echoing around the room to diffuse—
a sound so sweet, so pure;
to my unhappiness, it's a cure
as it puts a smile back onto my face for sure!
from your clasped hands in your regular stance,
to your endless showcase of your “pin drop” dance,
i cant seem to pick a favourite one!
but i believe it’s when you make a pun.
Gathering leaves of our tomorrow seasons
Falling to earth on the breath of a breeze
Till comes the day when she sits here beside me
Sharing the beauty her smile does inspire.
It’s in the smallest sounds
The briefest touches
The shortest glimpse
The most fleeting feeling
The faintest scent
It’s in the loudest symphonies
The longest entanglement
The seemingly endless moment shared between wandering gazes stopped
The lasting, lingering instinct
The strongest, most pungent aroma
It’s in an informal talk with a friend
A polite minute long conversation with a stranger
A speech given
A comment overheard
A phrase dropped
A joke made
A remark pointed
It’s in the violent torrents of stinging drops
The gentlest whispers of snowflakes dancing
The beacons of golden hope shining down undefeatable
The spiraling wisps twirling to the ground from their noble perch up above
The tiny fragments of faraway life sailing on the invisible breeze from one life to another
It’s the renewal every human needs,
That once in a while of going on
That inescapable truth: we’re only human
That once every so often we accept
That everyone can only take so much
We all need something to hold
We all need something to hope
We all need something to roam
We all need something to go
We all need something to have
It’s the renewal
And it’s everywhere
It’s in our waters
And in our fires
It’s in our air
And in our earth
Everywhere someone can find it
Everywhere someone will need it
It’s everywhere you look
It’s everywhere you need
That’s what renewal happens to give.
Who told you that
Your heart shines
You
Who told you that
Kind of
Lie.
Was it me.
Was it
you
that
Forced me to?
Another beauty product that was tried and tested
by models who are made to be perfected
Setting unreachable standards of beauty
To gain profit through everyone's insecurity
I have doubted myself, the process was hard and rough
I tried to conform to their standards but it was really tough
Until I realized I am not happy anymore, so I decided that I had enough.
I will not succumb to their standards anymore
I will instead love myself and see what's in store
And if ever my insecurities will strike again,
I will remind myself that I am strong and won't be broken
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, that is true
So don't doubt yourself for no one can be like you
Being different is beautiful too
And someone will yet appreciate you
Wish i could find the words without saying another bad word
to explain all the voices that my soul and brain have heard
some are a lie that caused me to cry
dealing with my problems, oh i sigh.
Built my walls too high, for no one can enter
that even i can’t reach in and fly in my main center
dealing with my demons, either if i am awake or dreamin’
i shouldn’t have believe them for they were very deceivin’
people think i’m flying through my life without feeling dying
they were all wrong for i have been trying
i see mirror here, mirror there, which one can i look at and stare
they’ve been my enemy lately, that i can’t love myself completely
i look at her, and it’s such a blur
i know it’s just a reflection but my mind sees all imperfection. compliments of perfection doesn’t help me find my direction.
in my eyes i see my true complexion
but i choose to believe my beauty is base on perception.
i still have to learn that i am worth
every living cell on this earth
that outside appearance doesn’t matter
but what’s inside is so much better.