The nights drags on
Lost in my thoughts
Listen to lofi songs
The mind is a healthy fruit till it rots
I lay here awake
Thinking of everything
Every possible mistake
About my future and and my past really just anything
The night fills my head with hopes and dreams
Wheres the knowlege that I lack
Is it hidden in time with bigger and better things?
I'm on a knowlege train trynna get on track
Picking up all the peices of my life
Trynna not to get bitter but better
Hoping to put together something right
Its time I switch around those letters
All I got is all I need
I'm only human
I'll always bruise and Ill always bleed
Imma changed man
With a PEACE of mind
And all this came
From a restless night....
I hurt but I have no reason to hurt
Other than I am human
I tell myself “others have had it worse than you”
“You don’t deserve to feel this way”
“How dare you”
The guilt I thrust upon myself settles into my skin like an infected wound
Digging itself deeper and deeper every day
I no longer allow myself to feel the things I do
Because if I do, I am a fraud
I am selfish
I am undermining those who suffer greater pain than I
Those who have lost the ones they love most
Those who’ve had their hearts broken by supposed soul mates
Yet, in my heart I know my emotions are pure
I hurt because I am human
And simply being human permits me to feel what I may
My tears are justified
Along with my laughter and beams of joy
I am allowed to feel
I am not depressed because I am human
I am human because I am depressed
I am human because I cry
I am human because I care
I am human because I feel guilt
Give yourself the right to be human
There is no need for any other label
You deserve to be cared for
Not only by others
But by yourself
Set the guilt free
And you will set yourself free
You are my favorite Emma that exists
You are no matchmaker
like Jane Austen might suppose
you don't succeed in life
by helping the love lives of bros
You are no blonde
like Emma Roberts is
you have brown hair and beautiful eyes
you are crazy smart, some sort of a whiz
You are no dancer in a musical
like Emma Stone
You are more of a marvelous human
who has a mind of her own
You aren't a wizard
like Emma Watson was
you are the kind of person
that is nice just because
Despite what they have said
Despite what they say should sink
I will love my Emma
without having to think.
my mind is a house of colors
the walls are splattered in paint
i’ve hung up diamond chandeliers
translucent—glimmering in the moonlight
splattering rainbows across the walls
maybe the paint is a figment of my imagination.
my mind is a killer whale
treading the dark foaming waters of the ocean
the great whites mock me
the great whites are listening.
i hide in the sea kelp of the great blue deep
the midnight shadows of the witching hour
caress my fins like wet rolling tapestries
endless running waves
racing like my own heartbeat
thumping like the longest drum line
my mind is a hollow cave
humid, wet, dripping water from limestone formations
strange echoes from within its depths
i can never understand the muffled whispers
but though they petrify others
they soothe me.
i have turned to salt rock
from all the untrue words my tongue has spoken
bitter, like salt on a lime
my mind is a dusty attic
rustic and beautiful to the creative eye
it has become an art room
with a canvas stand in the corner
and paint splattered across the dark wooden floorboards
beautiful arcs and painted glass windows
a pretty little white picket fencing
the mailman is sleepwalking
my mind is a dream
but i’m all too awake
and i’m unsure
as to whether or not
i’m living a nightmare
It is not always easy to express one's self
When his artistic creations are never placed in galleries
They are often forgotten of
Sitting there gathering dust on a storage shelf.
It seems as if ten more people are at the same task
As which you create with
Comparing their outcomes to your own
Your light of hope fails to light
Due to many missing you that must express
A dog starved to the bone.
Eyes meet the other exhibits
As your kiosk is primarily never sought for business
The confidence of challenge is there, however, it soon melts away
When all of the hard work which you have placed
in expressions for the world to see
Fade to darkness like the "dark side of the moon"
As night simply ends the days.
Questions remain about what you are truly "gifted"
at or "ahead" of other game pieces on the board game of life.
When so many are inventive such as you
One too many is a crowd.
You pull down a fake smile. A fake shrowd.
Now the net is neutral
Damaging my once vibrant flow
As my hands are now tied to how I can grow
The rules of the game are now many and harder to get around
Like a roadblock in your sight of your future
The air begins to become too thin and your mind weighs heavy
As the cut in your creative inventiveness
Bleeds too heavy and needs a "miraculous" suture.
Needing others on my team
Every time I seek out such
I'm the "driver x" at the "speed races"
and the "forced gun" to bear uninspiring
and lonely expressive paces.
Is their justice to the laws limiting one's freedom of expression
just to protect those in the "top few?"
When the own half of the platform on which you try and "compete"
However, you are too small to be seen as "you."