mjd 17h

I complain about your silence
but I do not know the truth,
at least the full essence.
You won't tell me why,
what secrets do you have?
What do they have to hide?
Even from your friend?
I feel like the world knows already.
You make me worry.

I hate her.
I hate her with all my heart I can’t stand
To see her face it makes me cringe
Every time she walks my
Fingers want desperately to curl around
Her neck and just
Feel her pulse against my palm as she
Starts to faint and lose her breath she
Begins to cry and I can’t help but smile
Seeing me hurt her just as much as
She hurt me with a knife to my back
Bullshit if you think i’ll just
Forgive you after you
Act like such a fucking whore and
Break your promise i squeeze
Harder and harder, my grasp
Around her neck gaining strength as
Anger fills my veins, the thick red paint of
Pure hatred fuels my heart and my head
Gives me only one single command that
Makes me laugh out loud
I am insanely intoxicated with a
Deep paroxysm and I cannot
Stop myself from laughing so giddily
I am smiling as the life fades from her eyes
And my fingers begin to lose their tight grip
And my laughter begins slacken
And my head begins to rid itself of the dark cloud
That once consumed my entire being
And i look at the whore i have asphyxiated
And i smile
I am happy
I am at peace.

Went for an evening walk
with many people walking around
a scheduled walk
everyday at the same time
it seems..
get to see & feel
more often than before.
An old man walking everyday
at his own pace
taking baby step at his old age..
Another man, unable to walk at all..
but still striving to make one more step..
so as to keep moving on the go...
Unexpectedly, out of all te thoughts
heard a dog's bark
that too behind the walls
and as I turned aside
only to find a caged dog..
May be jealous of all of us
as it may seem we are free
in this vast array of light..
...and all of a sudden met my friend..
a wholehearted smile...
she missed me it seems
as I was away for a while...
A sudden burst of laughter
with incomplete talks..
Good to meet people unknown
but somehow known
as we all are walking in the same lane
to find ourselves more often than others!

Walking around opens up so many aspects in life..
watching the smallest details of life makes our life
so much more meaningful with new findings each time..
Skye 1d

as i walk down this road
with the moon shining a pale glow onto my shoulders
i feel weightless
but in a good way
nothing is weighing me down
i’m like a bird
cloaked in feathers
everything is clear
my thoughts
the sky
no clouds
i understand now.
and i’m content.
i’m alone
in a way
but i’m okay alone
for now
because he taught me things
and i appreciate that now
and i don’t long for his name
i’m no longer mad
i’m at peace with who we were
and who we are now
and i hope so is he.

about a person who changed me
about a person who helped me develop
about a person who listened to me
about a person who supported me
about a person who made me feel better
and about a person who i hope to never forget and who won't be forgotten

It won't be forgotten
How you fed me
When I was hungry
Played music for me
When I was down
And we'd share a buzz
And a few blue jokes
Whenever you came 'round.
When I listen to Jerry Garcia sing
About a Mission in the Rain
You won't be forgotten
And what you've sown,
We will maintain.

In your name, we will maintain.

R.I.P. Eric Crabtree.  Thanks for being there when I hit the bottom. I'm sorry I wasn't there at the end. I'll miss you, Crabby.

The wild in your laughter
is something I wish I could catch
and put in a jar
to sip from on a rainy day.
The Earth comes alive in your eyes
when your mouth inhales the air
and sends magic to my ears
when you sing.
Your hair flies freely
when the wind kisses your face
and your cheeks flush
with the warmth I know
you keep guarded in your heart
like an innocent prisoner
who has not yet given up hope.
I hum at a frequency
only you can hear from across the room,
and our connection is one
to be envied by anyone nearby.
Your soul is remarkable,
unable to be matched
by anything I've ever encountered.
You're my favorite book,
one I could read a thousand times
because it is the only thing
that has understood me
at the turn of every page.
You are my best win,
my favorite piece of poetry,
on my toughest day,
you are one mirror
that I know I can look into
to see the real truth.
You are my best friend,
the warmest blanket.
You are the tallest tree,
always reaching for the sky.
And when your leaves fall,
I feel like confetti surrounds me.
Every distance that separates us
makes me feel closer to you.
Time means nothing
because you're always with me,
like I hope you know I'm always with you.
You bring me peace when I am tangled,
wake me up when I am numb.
You are the sand to my sea,
the cloud to my rain.
I am not empty with you around,
you're my last dollar,
the gallon of fuel
that gets me to the gas station.
The Ramen in the cabinet
a day before payday.
I look to you for reassurance
when I don't think I can trust myself
or anyone else.
I'm the plant in need of water,
and you're the sun to help me grow.

I haven't forgotten about you
Even with all this time apart
I still want the things I said I do
There's still so much love in my heart

I should've move on a while ago
But when I love, I love for good
It's a lot easier said than done you know
I mean I'd let go if I only could

Maybe apart of me doesn't want to
Because I'll lose you for good
There's never been anyone like you
Who can do the things that you could

I don't mean to come off as pathetic
But I refuse to believe this is the end
Has all this obsessing made me lovesick?
I can't bear to just be your friend

For the fucking love of my life the make my head spin. April 24, 2017 1:09pm

For a friend I wish, but one with a heart pure
For my heart was burned, more than a time or two

A wall I erect, for my safety it must not fall!
Strong and sturdy I build, firmly planted in the ground
The vilest of creatures it must hold back

Near my gate you come, not expecting this village houses one
With eyes you look in, but the curtain is drawn and you see not deep within
Lest you see my weakness and with that attack

My arms I extend: Don’t get too close, stay beyond the end!
My palms I hold out, you must know that I’m afraid
Those who came before stabbed me in the side, and because of this now I hide

A friend I have not found, perhaps to trust I am now unable
For my trust was betrayed, more than a time or two

From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"

If you're someone's friend
You do what you can

If you love someone
You do all you can

and then some...

It's the extra, the then some that separates love from kinship.

Traveller, scuba-diver
Sailor swearing wherever she goes
But never in front of a crowd
No, if you want to
apologize for something
you've said,
better find out where she's hiding.

Look where it's darkest,
but bring a flashlight;
she wears black
to hide from spiders and snakes.

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