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Sara 7d
time freezes.
i’ve been just barely hanging on for so long now
and it’s as if that final strand has finally snapped.
i’m stuck in the split second between everything being okay and everything not.
i know what i have to do.
and so i bring out my friends.
sharp, silver, small
the ones that are there for me when no one else is
and i tell them my pain, my suffering.
they validate me.
they promise me that they’ll make it all stop.
and that’s all i really want anymore.
Sara 7d
no one notices
it’s a blessing and a curse i suppose
i’m glad that no one’s trying to stop me
but i wish that someone cared enough to try
i wish someone would notice
but that would ruin everything we’ve worked for
i’m wasting away to nothing
and even so
no one notices
this just means i have to try harder, right?
at least, that’s what ana tells me
so we go from 800 to 600 to 400
and we work so hard
but still
no one notices
ana’s all i can think about
and she tells me
“just a little more”
“people will start to care when they need to”
“you’re just not sick enough”
sometimes, in my darkest hours, i voice these thoughts aloud
and even after all of that
no one notices
Sara 7d
i sit across from you
as if at a dinner party
but I think we both know that’s exactly the reason that i’m here now
you lure me in
whispering promises and secrets
“it’ll be just between us” you say to me
“after this, you’ll be beautiful”
i believe you
i start to give in, lean forward, close my eyes
stop it.
they’re lies!
tears are streaming down my face now
i fall back with a whimper
you’re turning mean now
“you’ll never be pretty if you keep at this”
“you’re not worthy”
i’m shaking i’m sobbing i’m scared
i thought i was the one in control
i thought i had the power
but now you’ve stripped me of that and everything else i once was
i have nothing left now except for you
you, my porcelain savior
Caitlyn Nov 27
you once told me something
you told me that you were so intrigued by me
you took my intimidating personality
and turned it into a mystery to figure me out
but you see
i was always one step ahead of you
you couldn't figure me out
i made it so i was opaque

you hated that
you did everything in your power to make me trust you
but darling
you didn't reciprocate the trust
for days you left me on edge

but you told me something
you wouldn't have been able to see color without me
so if that's the case darling
do you miss the blue, red and yellow?
or was your plan to always return to black and white?
"color" is essentially the beauty within things
Caitlyn Nov 21
would you miss me?
the thought that you won't ever see me at school
except it will be permanent
not temporary

how would you feel
if you knew that your words caused a parent so much pain
finding their daughter on the floor
pills and letters in hand

how would you live
with the thought of knowing
a girl so sweet and so innocent
took her own life because of your words
she thought she was worthless
but the human life is so precious
and you made her throw it away

how would you feel
when the school finally announces it
and you see her best friend
falling on her knees
you know she was never the same after that
she never was able to gain back the light in her eyes
her face is still tear stained to this day
she still holds the letter the girl wrote to her in her back pocket
of the jeans they both loved
she still blames herself

her family still has a hole
at the dinning room table where she would always beg to sit
they couldn't even have her favorite meal for a year
they still haven't cleaned out her room
her little brother has been acting out
her mother breaks her teeth on ***** bottles
and her father is angry
angry at himself
and angry at everyone else

how could you know right
that maybe a joke to you wasn't taken so lightly to her
that the things you called her
she held on to them deeply
whilst you don't even remember them

how are your parents going to feel
when they find out there's a police investigation
on their kids
for taking an innocent life
from their words
and their actions

think about this
the next time you call someone a *******
remember you might be in this position one day
hi don't be a ******* thanks
Caitlyn Nov 21
even after i left that ****
do i still remember everything so vividly
the ****** assault
the ****** harassment

the constant torment
the ransom texts telling me to die
the people whispering in the halls
about what your wearing, and why you're doing what you're doing

why do i still remember the faces and names
every single person that made this earth ****
i don't want to remember you

i want to move on
i'm trying to move on
i want to forget everything

but i just can't.
Apporva Arya Nov 21
Lost in the moon,
Lost in its shine..
Lost in this dark,
And it feels so right..
Lost in the sky,
As the stars shine bright..
Lost in the music,
Of your heart beat..
Lost in this cold,
As our hands hold..
Lost in the mysteries,
that lives in your eyes..
There is nothing quite like loosing yourself in the old photographs..Finding beauty in the love so rich that it could buy u a joy that you lost a long time ago..
Waylah Sheets Sep 26
Tears fall at times
Whether you want them to or not
they glide
they slide
To the floor, they flow
in gentle streaks
causing sobs
never knowing when they slow
they hit the floor with a small plump
but do they really do anything
do they mean anything
no, they let you show your emotions
and that is the tale of tears.
Pastelblitz Aug 9
Nervous picking
Looking down
Never up

I tear up
I build walls
I hide away

Just like old me

And I hated it
I don’t want to hide
But I don’t want to break down in front of people

So it builds
And consumes
Until I break
And sob until there’s nothing left
And then I’m empty again
**** my life
Lily Aug 6
I am trying to
Smile even though my heart
Still sobs over you.
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