and i'm scared because if
somebody says your name accidentaly
out loud, i swear i'm gonna
explode in screams and storms
and cry myself to death, 'cause
even the sound of your name out of other
person's lips, sounds so beautifully
devine to me, and my skin is sensitive
and still untouched, ready to be burned
by your flaming fingertips,
but what if you never want me to burn?

i just want to sleep peacefully
and never wake up.

you were so distinctive,
      that i had to delete
          all the history that
               you made, all the
                    marks that you left,
                        just so they don't
                           know about the two
                               of us,  just pretending
                                  that you were never here.

01.00am--                                                                    
she is sleeping peacefully,
dreaming of him in an alluring dream                                  
that she knows will never come true.

02.00am--
she is now fully awake,
sweating in her wet clothes and
sweat dripping from her forehead
due to the nightmare she just had.

03.00am--
why can't she fall back asleep?
the horrifying dream is still a clear
image in her twisted mind.
she needs him.

04.00am--
all the numbers are written,
the only thing she needs to do is press
the green button on her phone
and call him.

05.00am--
he was *******, to say at least.
nobody wanted to be awaken by a stranger
in four in the morning.
it was a mistake.

06.00am--
she still hasn't fallen asleep.
she stayed up all night.
she couldn't bare to have the nightmare again.
and now she has to face reality.
she hates it.

07.00am--
her makeup is applied.
and her clothes are clean and perfect,
as they always are and should be.
how is she going to face him after
she called him in four in the morning?

08.00am--
she couldn't find him anywhere.
she knew where his locker was,
but still he wasn't there.
she was now worried that
perhaps she was the reason for his absence.

09.00am--
she couldn't hold it in.
her tears fell and fell on the hard ground beneath her.
she couldn't believe it.
he was gone.
and it was all her fault.

10.00am--
she ditched school.
she didn't care about that anymore.
all she wanted to do is be with him.
and that was what was she going to do.

11.00am--
she watched as the blood slowly started
dripping from her newly cut wrist.
she held the tears and the pain in.
she didn't let out a sound.
soon her lifeless body will be found on
her bathroom floor.
but at least, she would be with him.
and that was all that mattered to her.

and she was not beautiful, but she loved.
and she was not kind, but she cared.
and she was not bored, but she listened.
and all because she was human.
and the people like her turned her into a devilish monster,
whose flaws are haunting.
and nothing could make the ache disappear.

let's go away at night.
go to our imaginary land and take your guitar.
i'll play away the time, singing our song.
joining the stars in the beautiful dance,
the dance of happy tears.
let's scream as loud as we can,
let the world know we're awake at night.
let's create a dream,
a dream we should visualize when we're feeling down.
let's leave this world and go away together.
go live a perfect dream.

my dad started smoking again,
but that's okay,
now we can share a cigarette
as he tells me about life being hard
and i tell him about how nobody loves me,
but then he will throw the cigarette on the ground
and hug me so tight, i'll actually
believe his lies.

i woke up,
in a different clothing,
and a different bed from
mine.
the gray t-shirt stuck
to my sweaty skin,
and i got out of the untidy
bed, to find the source
of the delicious pancakes
smell.
what i found weren't
pancakes,
but a lying, lifeless
body on the kitchen
floor and burnt
breakfast.

your heart isn't
beating anymore,
i broke it and left.

hostile,
and aggressive,
maybe you are
perfect for me,
darling.

electric blue eyes
of yours, blind to
reality, always
incomplete thoughts
drifting through
your messed up mind,
trying to find
some kind of way to
get out, to be
transformed into
words and music.

a cigarette on his dry lips,
he is cold, he grips
onto the lit cigarette,
imagining a person's
neck,
and he is determined
to break it.

you promised
that you will
make me happy,
but you didn't.
                                    you promised
                                    that you will
                                    make me laugh
                                    but you didn't.
                                                                       but you promised
                                                                       that you will
                                                                       **** the light in me,
                                                                       but there was no light
                                                                       in me, so that
                                                                       leaves you with another
                                                                       broken promise.

over you
there are
tears, insults,
jokes and
other dumb ****
that made you
the person you are
today,
the people who
buried you
alive are in hell,
and you are dancing
with the angels
in heaven,
because you
survived
through their
insults and jokes,
the ones which
made you stronger
than ever.