Yuki 29m
We are told that everything
is going to be alright
but what they do not realize
is that it is not
about when but how.
I have been trying to heal
by tearing myself to pieces
so far
and isn’t that also
a start?
when I'm in a mirror, my image never laughs at me when I cry
never berate when I'm angry,
never angry when i sulk,
then it doesn't ignore me when I'm complaining
how crazy I am
chatting with mirrors
but I believe in me inside there
although sometimes, the hardest thing is fighting my ego
When i'm not okay
I hate myself
When i am down
I hate myself
When i have failed
I hate myself
When i can't be what i want to be
I hate myself
When i have so much problems stuck in mind
I hate myself
When i can't shine like everyone
I hate myself
When i hate myself
I hate myself

Nothing's special in me
I can't be like those girls
I can't be like another people
I can't struggle with creative mind
I can't survive the hardest time
I can't solve problems with smartest way
I can't reach the top
I just can see everyone's standing on top
I can't be like this
I can't be like that
And i can't be myself
Perpetually lost
Figuratively stuck
Exhaustingly overworked
Disgustingly underpaid
Literally confused
Effortlessly cliche
Beautifully me
Sometimes it be like that
I give you a wink;
its a simple hint.

I give you a smile;
keep you going for a while.

I give you a laugh;
I know what you want to have.

I give you my trust;
I know I'm something that you love.

I give you myself;
you want me more than any wealth.

I give you my love;
I'm starting to get hopeless.

I gave you all I ever had;
my wink
my smile
my laugh
my trust
my love.

But somehow,
for you,
that is not enough.
You want me
to give you more
when you have given me none.
I am a wanderer. Someone who believes there are still good people out there. I am a person who loves meeting new people because to me, meeting new people is an opportunity to be someone new too. I am someone who feels like I have never shown my true colour. I believe that I am a good person. But being good seems impossible. I am a person who never stand up for myself. People would mock me or insult me but I have learned to just laugh at it because standing up for myself would make me a sensitive person. I am a girl who is constantly looking for love but looking for love only make me not wanting to love. I am a one night stand. I find it normal for someone to take things away from me. I find it a norm for me to just give everything. I am a person who enjoys writing, drawing and reading but people see me as someone who enjoys drinking, socialising and destroying myself. I am a girl who forgives easily because I believe everyone makes mistake. I am someone that people would only call to have fun or want my company but never the person people would call and ask how I have been. I am someone who loves to observe things and think of a thoughtful thoughts. I am a girl who likes to be in my room and listening to my playlists - playlist that I spend hours making. I am someone who is always insecure because I never really get compliments like every other pretty girls out there. I am insecure because of the things people say about me. I am someone with a big dream but I am nowhere close to that dream. I am person who loves to sleep because my reality is not a life that I want. I am that person you heard about from the rumours that I never get to clarify. I am someone who is broken but I never bother to fix myself because I was brainwashed with the thought that people will love me for I am. Who I am now is someone that is broken. I am a girl who never gives up but my overdrive mind keep telling me that I should. I am someone with suicidal thoughts but I never have the guts to do it because it is a ‘sin’. I am an unplanned child that constantly feel like I am nothing but a burden to my family. I am someone who struggles with life for the sake of my parents’ happiness. I am that person who is always hurting and I am addicted to that pain. I am someone who stops praying because I stop believing in something I can’t see. A girl who cries out help in her eyes while she’s smiling. I am someone who is always listening because I always put everyone ahead of me. I am someone who wakes up everyday, finding motivation to stay alive because my body is stuck on earth while my soul has left. Despite everything I said about myself, I would still just be a girl who you defined yourself.
something about myself
CM Lee 3d
I’m 20 with a bachelor’s degree
My dad’s the proudest of me
My sisters are smiling from ear to ear
Finished first, but why wasn’t I happy?

I’m 21 and I passed the exam
It was ruthless, getting to where I am
I was alone in the water but I still swam
Got all the awards and accolades, but ****

I’m 22, no work, no dream
All those times I was rowing on the wrong stream
Forgot who I was and where I’ve been
Now I’m lost and they all think I’m mean

Friends and family said I’ve changed
They said I’d turned emptier and strange
But they don’t understand, I’m not deranged
For a long time, from myself I was just estranged

I’m 23 and still trying to find myself
Lost some people and honestly, I’m okay
Still no job but I know I’m on the right way
I’m finally doing what I love and I don’t care what they say
thesa 4d
every step i take
my soul and body ache

and still
i hope
that by the end of the day

i will feel love
instead of hate
in all the pain
as if new life
rushes through my veins

because i'm human
which no longer means

i fall down
get up
and grow old
die young
to be proud
what i've done

it was a long way
and i took different paths
to form myself
how i am, act and love

but just as hurt
has a domino effect
so does healing

which i discovered
to be
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