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<6:30 AM.  Sun May 28 2023>

An internal clock stirs within,
a full fledged conscious conscience rings in,
like a silent alarm at a bank being robbed.

Various devices inform, each with a
different measurement cup/stick, that I,
have slept exactly seven hours which,
pleases, as I am queried,

How do you feel?

Fully refreshed!

my choice today,
most apropos,
for now awake, I begin to:

compose myself.

In the ordinary, is the where that
I have oft found poetry,
not to mention love and other good things,
walk the house, north to south, east to west,
under weakish, not really high in the sky,
sun rays break thru the tree cover and create
a checkerboard of light and dark patches
for children to play upon, if any were/where here.

All seemingly is well.
The rabbits beneath us,
are sleeping in,
because after all,
it is Sunday.

But I digress; composition implies order, form,
even malice aforethought, so as an artist,
knowing the world is yet extant,
and I, yet am in one piece(s),
make coffee for two,
humming an old tune of similar ilk,
re tea

But every human has some master,
and mine the machine!

Want coffee? Hah!
Empty the grounds!
Not enough.
Now, Refill the Tank!
What! More?
Fill the beans!

Suffice! Relent!
I am human, you machine, and I demand coffee.

At last, the impolite machine, that knows not ‘please’ nor
‘thank you,’ nary its native ‘your welcome’ in its native Swissie Deutsche (Keine Ursache!).  All very Swiss, and businesslike,
doth relent, making a very fine cup of coffee.

I shall not trouble you with various side trips,
that though common to all humankind, but
provoke two sister thoughts in quick succession.

A modified abbreviated prayer:

Dear Lord, Yo! You have brought me to
the beginning of a new day,. Thanks a lot!

I skip over this remainder part, my excuse?

Too many words!

(“As the world is renewed fresh and clean, so I ask You to renew my heart with Your strength and purpose. Forgive me the errors of yesterday and bless me to walk closer in Your way today.”)

The other thought, a reciprocal to my gratitude.

Why in hell do our bodies age, ache, snap & crackle, Buddy?
perhaps a revision of this policy is in order, Would it upset
some vast eternal plan if my body never tolled my years
in lines of degeneration, waves of visible and invisible erosion,
or at least make coffee a magical, healing restorative elixir?


Nope.  

The usual sneering silence of just be happy you’re alive
etc., etc., etc. and etc.

Don’t think I am asking for too much. just a little tinkering…

More to write, but I chastise myself with:

Too many words!

Leave off here, though my misadventures
and adventures too, yield up inspirational
hymns galore, and batches of familiar plaints,
that is my inalienable human right to express
to nobody else, in particular,

But you.

For in so many ways, we journey together
though our paths, locales, and courses are
so vastly different, in my mind, we are together,
in the here and now, and in the forever future,
we must continue to share and share alike,
our words….
a S. I. writ
Enola Holmes May 20
I like watching people be themselves
no filters
just themselves
these are the moments that I live for
because without them
I don't think I can keep going,
I don't think I can keep breathing
11:34 am
Saturday
May 20th, 2023
Pepper Dove Dec 2022
Finally
I catch a break
from the clattering chatter
of complaints
To melt into this cozy chair
and rediscover my own thoughts,
myself,
who I have lost
somewhere in the noise

Finally
I catch my breath
and slowing its pace, I embrace
the silence
This temporary peace I seldom
catch hold of these days

And just as I finally start to see
myself...

It's taken

Shattered and scattered
like a cars side mirror
side-swiped
by the haphazardly cluelessness
of another

My reflection

My inner self

Gone

Once more
Enola Holmes Dec 2022
I’d be lying to myself
if I ever thought
that this feeling
ever went away
it’s always rooted
deep inside of me
yes,
the feeling of
wanting to die,
it’s always there
because no matter
how many pills I take
It’ll always be here
rooted in my heart
a perpetual feeling
that’s too unusual
for me to be feeling
12:40 PM
Saturday
December 24th, 2022
Enola Holmes Nov 2022
the pain that I feel
is unbearable
not the sickness pain
but the pain within
not one thing
but all things together
my heart hurts
my head hurts
everything hurts
all the time
it truly never stops
sometimes I forget it's there
but other times
it's the only thing I feel
and when it's
the only thing I feel
it makes me
not want to
exist anymore
7:48
November 9th, 2022
WED
nabs Sep 2022
today is my birthday.
the day i was born.
the day my faith was just started.

today,
i got a new number.
i got a plus one for my age.
nothing different.
it's just an ordinary day like usual.
but at the start of the day, i got surprises from my beloved people.

i am so grateful, for everything, today (and the other days).

i spent my time with my person & had much fun.

but you know what,
once i entered my room, the feelings changed.
i put my things to its own place,
i changed my clothes, the feelings got worse.

i laid my body on the bed,

and BAM

my tears broke.
it just broke

my feelings reduced me to tears with its own "things"

one thing..
i don't usually feel blue on my bday
but today,

i can't even validate my feelings.
everything just messed up the moment i laid my body, or should i keep walking?
is it my fault to gave my body a rest?
i shouldn't be stop, right?
the head keep talking.

and my heart sinks.
Hope White Aug 2022
My last name-
Because it is tied to people
Much greater than me &
That I refuse to let any man
Try to take it away from me.

My grey eyes
That no one will
Ever convince me are blue.

The fact that I somehow
Managed to walk away
From you.

That it's my number
That'll forever be
his emergency contact;
Even though I missed
The most important emergency.

That I AM good at math,
God ******.

That I write poems
About someone who
Isn't even real but
I know that you're here,
Right now,
Telling yourself
That this is about you.
Mark Wanless Aug 2022
i aint afraid of nothing
   but myself
myself is all there is

i can see me sometimes clearly
   but mostly
cloud of doubt

called the ghosts of heaven
   to fill me
with all blessings

sometimes see the the devil
   in a fog
of make believe

myself is all there is
spacewtchhh Jul 2022
He who doesn't know me is myself.

How characters from thousands of movies lived within me, made me think I am them.

And I am all of them now.

And we dont fit on the door now.

But we can still filter the world through the curtains.
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