tsel 1d

memorizing the details of
that one afternoon -
cold room
warm hands
heartbeats in chaos -
this will haunt me for lifetimes.

m.

If not for the feelings, just for the fun
Stay with me for another day and
I’ll pin the sun in the sky

If not as a guest, just as a prisoner
Let me into your heart and
I’ll serve a sentence for life

If not for yourself, just for the heck
Make a wish, no matter what and
I’ll trade it with my soul for you

If not for real, just for pretend
Say I’m the one for you and
I’ll dwell in that alternate reality

If not for a lifetime, just for a day
Love me like there’s no tomorrow and
I’ll happily die in your arms tonight

What is my soul?



Is my soul the way I laugh?

I laugh from the deepest part of me,

joyfully celebrating my life.

Is my soul the way I cry?

I cry from the deepest part of me,

embracing the pain my life delivers me.

Is my soul the way I listen?

I listen from the deepest part of me,

learning everything life has to teach me.

Is my soul the way I speak?

I speak from the deepest part of me,

telling life exactly what I think of it.

Is my soul the way I hate?

I hate from the deepest part of me,

turning away all those who’ve hurt me?

Is my soul the way I love?

It took me years
To build myself
Molding my shape
With dirty fingerprints
And a dull butter knife
Smoothing out
Every rough edge

I spent my lifetime
Crafting this delicate clay
Into something
That didn't hurt my eyes
And when I was done
I baked it solid
Roasted
Into a sturdy piece
Of breathing art

And then you came along

You begged
To get close to me
Close enough
To see me
Close enough
To touch me
So I let you
Carefully - of course
Until seemingly
Your soft hands
Were gentle enough
To hold me

But as time passed
You became a bit more…
Careless
Careless
So every time
You picked me up
Part of me was left cracked
Before you set me back down
And your hands
Seemed to bring more hurt
Than comfort

I began to resent you
But I didn't dare say it
Because I was sitting
In nostalgia
Remembering the days
When I really was
A work of art
In your eyes

And yet, eventually
Your carelessness
Rotted to recklessness
Until one day
You dropped me -
The slivers
Of my little clay heart
Scattered on the floor

Despite your best efforts
It wasn't enough
Not even
All the King’s horses
And all the King's men
Could put me back
Together again
I was hopeless
And the fragments
You tried to glue back
Were worthless

What am I now?
Art? No
I'm just a sad lump
Of clay shards and glue
Disfigured beyond belief
An eye-sore
For anyone who looks at me

I wish I could say
That my shattering
Was entirely your fault
But I blame myself
For ever letting you
Get close enough
To touch me.

Sun Jul 16

There is only one place
I can call home

          
where I can hold your hands
              You put your arms around me

                

And I feel your breathing
     Oh, It's only in our dreams

    
Colorless but meaningful dreams
         Keep me awaken all the walking moments
 All the way back to home


Should I teach my heart
                     Not to give words to my thoughts of you?
                    
    
Where stars don't refuse to shine
    I keep waiting for you
       Don't dare to be left
        Broken inside
           on my own hearts  
                                

Enough with the scattered words
I would rather turn you as a story
The story that takes a lifetime
to complete

   
Thousand of nights together
 under the stars
    The story to be lived
  over and over again to be loved
to be told

       An encrypted story
             that only I can read
                   The storyteller is void inside
      without you
        Oh, thee story

If your Home is within your dream, where would you go when you wake up ....?
Daisy Rae Jul 14

A wish may come true,
but hope lasts a lifetime.

Don't just wish, hope
Arlene Corwin Jul 13

It Has Been A Lifetime Of…

It has been a lifetime of, well, meditation:
Meditation/prayer, prayer weaker
(more appeal and supplication
Than an offering without a question).

Not really lifetime, I admit, but,
Years and years of seeking It,
Approaching It, trying to find, bind Arlene
With hope that she’ll become more than a hopeless dope;
Hope and that arcane, otherworldly word
That rhymes with earth and mirth and forth and wraith:

“What can it be?”(said she inscrutably).
Of course, it’s faith!
The hardest of the hard.
(Don’t let them kid you what they say they’ve got it)
Faith both gift and hard, hard practice.
Owning, losing day to day.

It’s been a lifetime – that’s for sure.
But life continues now to now:
Day to day, year to year
And meditation and the prayer
(Each in its place) continue too.
The real me
Still uncompleted
As of our poetic meet
This very heartbeat.

It’s Been A Lifetime Of…7.13.2017
The Processes: Creative, Thinking, Meditative II; Pure Nakedness;
Arlene Corwin

A lifetime yes, but lifetime is not over.
Nelsya Jun 15

If I ever
Get to meet you
In another life
Or universe
I wish to
Recognize you
At first glance

And if you ever
See me then
Please at least
Give me a chance
To fix
What had gone wrong
In this lifetime

Dasha Apr 24

I wonder why I think of nothing when I am travelling...
I hear voices of people, but no sounds of my own.
No whisper, breath or heartbeat sounds,
I only dream..A dream made out of icy clouds.
And there is, I hear voice of a little girl

Nun! Nun!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana peel
Daad!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You said it...

She kept making these silly jokes and even I smiled as I heard them...
She kept asking her parents and nun to answer her 'knock in the door'.
She reminded me of someone,
As she kept annoying them more.
I blocked out for quite a while staring somewhere far,
She reminded me of someone...
I guess once I was just like her...
I was just like that girl you heard,
I was this, little, silly kid
Making jokes, laughing all day long.
Blurry face with no care at all.

What about now? Would you like to know?
I am buried now, buried in routine...
Every day's the same, passing by so fast
Yesterday was spring,
And today is gone...

What about now? You don't want to know...
You are growing old, missing out youth
Yesterday was warm, but today is snow
Every year's the same,
It fades out slow....

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