If not for the feelings, just for the fun
Stay with me for another day and
I’ll pin the sun in the sky
If not as a guest, just as a prisoner
Let me into your heart and
I’ll serve a sentence for life
If not for yourself, just for the heck
Make a wish, no matter what and
I’ll trade it with my soul for you
If not for real, just for pretend
Say I’m the one for you and
I’ll dwell in that alternate reality
If not for a lifetime, just for a day
Love me like there’s no tomorrow and
I’ll happily die in your arms tonight
What is my soul?
Is my soul the way I laugh?
I laugh from the deepest part of me,
joyfully celebrating my life.
Is my soul the way I cry?
I cry from the deepest part of me,
embracing the pain my life delivers me.
Is my soul the way I listen?
I listen from the deepest part of me,
learning everything life has to teach me.
Is my soul the way I speak?
I speak from the deepest part of me,
telling life exactly what I think of it.
Is my soul the way I hate?
I hate from the deepest part of me,
turning away all those who’ve hurt me?
Is my soul the way I love?
It took me years
To build myself
Molding my shape
With dirty fingerprints
And a dull butter knife
Every rough edge
I spent my lifetime
Crafting this delicate clay
That didn't hurt my eyes
And when I was done
I baked it solid
Into a sturdy piece
Of breathing art
And then you came along
To get close to me
To see me
To touch me
So I let you
Carefully - of course
Your soft hands
Were gentle enough
To hold me
But as time passed
You became a bit more…
So every time
You picked me up
Part of me was left cracked
Before you set me back down
And your hands
Seemed to bring more hurt
I began to resent you
But I didn't dare say it
Because I was sitting
Remembering the days
When I really was
A work of art
In your eyes
And yet, eventually
Rotted to recklessness
Until one day
You dropped me -
Of my little clay heart
Scattered on the floor
Despite your best efforts
It wasn't enough
All the King’s horses
And all the King's men
Could put me back
I was hopeless
And the fragments
You tried to glue back
What am I now?
I'm just a sad lump
Of clay shards and glue
Disfigured beyond belief
For anyone who looks at me
I wish I could say
That my shattering
Was entirely your fault
But I blame myself
For ever letting you
Get close enough
To touch me.
There is only one place
I can call home
where I can hold your hands
You put your arms around me
And I feel your breathing
Oh, It's only in our dreams
Colorless but meaningful dreams
Keep me awaken all the walking moments
All the way back to home
Should I teach my heart
Not to give words to my thoughts of you?
Where stars don't refuse to shine
I keep waiting for you
Don't dare to be left
on my own hearts
Enough with the scattered words
I would rather turn you as a story
The story that takes a lifetime
Thousand of nights together
under the stars
The story to be lived
over and over again to be loved
to be told
An encrypted story
that only I can read
The storyteller is void inside
Oh, thee story
It Has Been A Lifetime Of…
It has been a lifetime of, well, meditation:
Meditation/prayer, prayer weaker
(more appeal and supplication
Than an offering without a question).
Not really lifetime, I admit, but,
Years and years of seeking It,
Approaching It, trying to find, bind Arlene
With hope that she’ll become more than a hopeless dope;
Hope and that arcane, otherworldly word
That rhymes with earth and mirth and forth and wraith:
“What can it be?”(said she inscrutably).
Of course, it’s faith!
The hardest of the hard.
(Don’t let them kid you what they say they’ve got it)
Faith both gift and hard, hard practice.
Owning, losing day to day.
It’s been a lifetime – that’s for sure.
But life continues now to now:
Day to day, year to year
And meditation and the prayer
(Each in its place) continue too.
The real me
As of our poetic meet
This very heartbeat.
It’s Been A Lifetime Of…7.13.2017
The Processes: Creative, Thinking, Meditative II; Pure Nakedness;
I wonder why I think of nothing when I am travelling...
I hear voices of people, but no sounds of my own.
No whisper, breath or heartbeat sounds,
I only dream..A dream made out of icy clouds.
And there is, I hear voice of a little girl
You said it...
She kept making these silly jokes and even I smiled as I heard them...
She kept asking her parents and nun to answer her 'knock in the door'.
She reminded me of someone,
As she kept annoying them more.
I blocked out for quite a while staring somewhere far,
She reminded me of someone...
I guess once I was just like her...
I was just like that girl you heard,
I was this, little, silly kid
Making jokes, laughing all day long.
Blurry face with no care at all.
What about now? Would you like to know?
I am buried now, buried in routine...
Every day's the same, passing by so fast
Yesterday was spring,
And today is gone...
What about now? You don't want to know...
You are growing old, missing out youth
Yesterday was warm, but today is snow
Every year's the same,
It fades out slow....