It shouldn't be a problem and it is.
I should be happy, but I'm not.
If I were a seaside, I'd be one time forgot.
Swings rusted still, and women of an age.
Same season all year, like dried ink on a page.
Getting overtaken, doesn't mean you lose.
It only meant you shone so more when came the time to choose.
Wind can be so vicious as it stings across your face.
A gentle stabbed reminder to always know your place.
Eventually what you will find is your heart does turn to stone.
Or constantly you feel the pain has seeped right to the bone.
Now at this point it really is so much easier to say.
Just leave me here and I'll wait in peace until you've had your day.
I am not good with words
i don't always say the right things
but i know how to feel
i know how I feel about you
You are like my bed after a long day, when i finally get home and can lay down in the warmth of my sheets and blankets, you comfort me in distress
you are like the cold iced water or soda when i have been running in the heat, you give me energy and relief
you are like the sun after a cold long winter you give me hope and warmth
you are like church after a long separation from my savior you make me feel connection to the earth
you are the breath of fresh air after feeling like you are suffocating you keep me going
i am not always good with words
but you make me feel again
Don't touch me
i don't want to feel connection to you
Don't look at me
I don't wan to be seen today
Don't listen to my words
i don't want to be heard
Don't ask me questions today
i don't want to speak
Don't kiss me
i don't want to taste her spit still in your mouth
Don't want to be near the world today
i want to hide
i want to be alone
i want to get lost in someone's breathe
i want to be with him again
i want to disapear
i want to make a big mistake
i want to be held without lust
i want someone to notice me without attention
i want someone to hear me without listening
i want to feel without being touched
I want I want I want
I notice the small things
i pay close attention to detail
especially when it comes to him
I have memorized your habits
the way you pick your words carefully when angered
the way you smile at me with your big soft lips and your gaped teeth
i have memorized your touch
the way you hold my hand
i have memorized the sound of you whispering " i love you"
i have memorized the way you act goofy
i know your face well
because i see you in my thoughts
the scar on your eyebrow you got when i was a sophomore
the visit in the hospital when you didn't want stitches
I know your curly top, blond from that night you dyed it while i was at summer camp
i know your lips from that night at the roller skate rink where we kissed
i pay attention to detail
I know your laugh when you are distracted
i have memorized the smell of your cologne
I pay attention
I notice everything you do
because i am falling for you more and more everyday
He sits outside on the step to their house,
Accompanied by a coffee and a cigarette.
A bitter boy and a poison girl.
Breathing in with the wind and exhaling down stream.
Mixing together to create a pungent vibrance to the air, the kind only made when a hump back whale meets a cotton bud cloud.
I'm writing this at four in the morning as I relentlessly contemplate about how much I cherish you as a person, treasure you as a best friend, and adore you as a lover. These feelings are overflowing my insides like a deluge, and the constant surge never subsides — always flooding my chest and making it feels as heavy as ever, just like when you loomed over my body and took a bit of my breath. I hereby would like to remind you over and over again that I could never and would never be thankful enough for the opportunity to know such a kindhearted human being like you and the very privilege to have you right by my side for more than a year already. We've gotten so far and we've finally come to an understanding that all the wears and tears apparently only made our clasping hands stronger instead of weaker and our mortal selves better instead of worse. Until the dawning of time when each of our gentle souls leave its fragile vessel, I'd like to humbly request you to kindly let me stay for a while.
I realised what the truth is
But now its too late
I wish i could go back
Back to that date
Back in the time
When i said that yes
The time when
my life started to mess
I do not smile,i do not laugh
My happiness is gone a far apart
There was a time when you were in my heart
God help me please in beginning a fresh start
You stay over again at mine,
while she thinks that, you're covering the late shift-"you're so kind."
You kiss me like there's no tomorrow tonight.
We're on borrowed time.
This love is so shallow.
Does she see the marks on your spine?
The lipstick stains of how much I want you to be mine.
I hear your phone buzz,
You don't answer it-but why?
I get it now,
This is our lost time.
You go to gig,
With the band.
She thinks that your just with your friends.
I see you there, across the bar,
You say: "let's go back to ours."
Does she see the look in your eyes?
You're not happy, your in disguise.
I'm not just the other girl on the side-
I'm "The One" he calls because I'm on his mind.
4 years too long,
We waited for this moment to arrive.
You whisper; "God how much I've missed you in my life."
You hold me until I fall asleep by your side.
But I'm not sure this time... this time...
I can't believe you didn't tell me,
you were still with her, do you still love her?
So go ahead now try me!
What's it gonna be?
Her or me?
I don't know what you see in "her"
You ask me to come over at 1 am
I go cause it feels familiar
But every time it ends
I say I'm never coming back again
Now it feels wrong
You say, "it's okay"
But I'm slowly becoming a ticking time bomb
And I really don't want to stay
Too many lies, and I cry
Cause with you I feel numb
I've never felt so dumb
In your arms
While there's alarms
Ringing in my head
Reminding me that I should leave instead
But I wait and wait till I'm kicked out
And theres something I hate about you without a doubt
So why do I keep doing this to myself
While you're out I'm avoiding everyone else
I don't understand anything anymore
I'm always left hurt mentally, emotionally, and physically sore
Maybe I'll know
When I finally have the courage to let you go