the loneliness that habits in my heart ain't a beggar,
but keeps begging for you,
instead, i fool it with cheap ***** and a box of cigarettes
why would you smoke a cigarette
but leave half of it dropped onto the sidewalk?
“our cigarette butts leave signs,”
you told me,
“I threw it there to
let others know that
I can control my bad habits.”
this is who you are.
you’re the type of person
who leaves cigarette butts on concrete
to scream “I was here.”
you’re the type of person
who purposefully lives an unfinished life
for the world to wonder
what you would’ve done
if you had more time.
this was the same way you left me.
halfway through our dreams and goals,
only to find out that I loved you
wholeheartedly, obsessively, and recklessly,
while you walked away
with a mouthful of tobacco smoke
and halfway love.
darker than black
my brain turns
as every memory rips through me
torn tendons broken bones
i fall apart
as the icy cool smoke
escapes my tortured body
it ignites a blue fire inside me
whispers from my past fade away
i rise from the ashes
this time with a vengeance
that will burn anyone it catches
i am born again
a flash of darkness cuts the sky gray;
the rain paints a trail so slight of smoke,
and gone: in the beat of a scaled heart.
inside the cave there is a storm outside:
the beast: regal, amongst crushing rocks;
the night: celebrating an absence.
time will ease the return of the fire;
turn a watered down death into life.
gods reborn astride the dragon: fly!
smoking makes me happy
the pain in my lungs reminds me
i am merely man
just to feel something
not of self deprecation
you keep me safe up here
above the smoke
beyond the barriers of this world
a simple touch
takes me places i could never go
without blackening my insides
you’re the kind of high i like,
the one i can’t get enough of,
you are my favorite flower.
and i’ll watch you lay on a blanket,
and wrap your arms to cuddle me in,
let our emotions ride the waves
feelings all so raw and real.
and i’ll inhale you deeply,
hold it in,
plant the seeds to grow a
garden of you.
your aroma, your scent,
it thickens in my memories,
my lungs tastes of you.
and exhaling all that anxiety,
my mind has turned a switch
and all the noise i once drowned in
are muffled whispers going into silence.
and i smile by the way
i’m addicted to you that
all i want is more of you,
i don’t want just the bouquet
but the paradise garden that is you.
on the spot writing so might tweak in the future but you get me as high as a kite
yes, I see it
no, its got to be from the smoke
I know, it does make for some great sunrises and sets
oh, can you hear the cattle mooing this morning?
makes for peaceful coffee time...
Brian Hill - 2020 # 273
you lit a fire in me that
i didn't know was aflame,
and now that you're gone,
the rain got to it,
and all that's left is smoke.
i'm having a hard time right now;;
I wish I could leave you in the ash tray like all all my stress,
I’m struggling to quit this, to quit us
This wrong side of heaven
But I let the pollution fester
I want to leave you in the ash tray,
but what if it still burnt
and started a wildfire.
as autumn plants her feet,
cities burst into smoke, shades
and silence, until I can only sit
& grieve as a ruby-dream fades
into the mist; tell me this is earth
breaking feasts to mark the birth
of our bond, tell me this remains
the season where hearts rain
like leaves as they, as we, fall
in love beneath golden trees
& we'll only need to loosen our all
to cling tighter than we please;
tell me that when the perils flee,
you'll return, arms open-- tell me.