singing happy
songs in the
shower,
isn't gonna
make you
happier.
it is only
gonna make
you wonder
if life is worth
living,
without any
happiness
in it.

why would
you want me?
i am broken and
damaged,
just like your
old records,
the ones you
don't even
listen to anymore.

take them,
drink them,
swallow them,
just to
ease and ****
the aching pain.

glass after
glass, drink
until you're
incapable of
loving,
thinking,
breathing,
*living.

you aren't human,
filled with fake
blood, just so you
can bleed and
haunt me.

a thin layer
of expensive,
french perfume
on your collarbones,
dripping down
due to the
high temperature
you caused when
you walked into
the room.

that emptiness
that you feel,
inside of your
bitter soul,
and the feeling
when you crave
for the past,
are too much
to bear,
all you have to do
is open the window
and jump off
of it.
*the feeling will
be gone,
and so will you.

i am so terribly sorry for
breathing,
living,
existing,
**dying.

i need some kind
of tune, melody,
rhythm,
so i can take my mind
off my life,
and focus on
someone else's.
i need some kind
of words, sentences,
lyrics,
to ease the pain
that has been stabbing
my heart over and
over again.
i need some kind
of genre, rhyme,
harmony,
to play in the
background,
while i slowly,
and painfully
end my life.

the hopeless daydreamers,
are the best kind of people,
because they have
low expectations
and won't get too high,
just so they can sink too low.
life is so much
easier when you have
no hope,
because you already
know that all
of your dreams
will be crushed
by destiny
and karma.

running through
the meadow under
the scattered,
shining stars
on the dark sky,
and after a long run,
you'll start
dancing around,
swaying and spinning
with that wreath
on your head,
the one that
i love too much.
and you'll get tired,
and be out of breath,
you'll fall onto the ground
surrounded by
yellow grass and
wilted flowers,
the one that you love
too much.
and you'll stare
and stare into
the stars,
until your eyes start
to close and you'll
find yourself
falling into a peaceful
dream, filled
with flowers, stars
and me.

turn up the boombox,
maybe it will drain
your desperation.

out of all the stars,
you are the brightest one.

i want to lose
my voice, so you
can't hear what i'm
screaming to you,
because i know
i'm going to regret it.

why am i under your control?
why am i under your influence?
everything you do, i do.
you smoke, i smoke.
you drink, i drink.
you get high, and i repeat.
i don't know if i should
love it or hate it.
perhaps, i am just desperate
for attention and love,
so i imitate you,
just so you can notice me.