Dazzling moonlight all bright Mocking my blearing fears, Exfoliating my peaceful daydream Haunting, Evocating, Nagging, It burns down my walls all in, Leaving me dreading for the next night With eyes filled with poignant memories.
He said "sweet dreams" "Goodnight beautiful I love you like you love me" I smiled, sheepishly Went to sleep, peacefully First time in years, I think No nightmares or jump scares I used to fear finding happiness Cause it meant facing my demons Reliving traumatic experiences Coping with pain I never wanna feel again The drugs I used were for numbing effects To temporarily avoid thoughts haunting my head Then I met you and finally felt level Pulled me up from down low Made me feel comfort and real love Warm hugs and tight holds You gave me clear skies When I was stuck in a storm The way you look at me with those blue eyes Is something I adore We've both made mistakes And We'll make some more Far from perfect But we'll make it work
I used to have this night terror... a man or multiple chasing me trying to kidnap me I watched him kidnap so many others
he reached out to me this scary man with a disguise of female features... I never understood where and what created this fear of abuse at such a young age I ran from more men in my dreams than I did in real life... I never thought of being abused... I have no memories. Was i??? did something happen to me? did something happen to my mother??? am i seeing a ghosts story??? am I hearing the tales of these kids?? is this a past life??
these are all the questions I would ask... as time goes on... the night terrors turn to day dreams i witness myself being choked... i can feel someone watching me i lose track of time watching some take their time on me... i cause myself tears...
i create all these fears in my head i can see them so clear these fears i could never control and i never once understood
never the memories of someone i knew all strangers created from a memory i almost knew