I wandering walked
In a dream of a well
Soul shivered and shocked
For my hope shattered shell
All bravery balked
At the toll of a bell
Falling from clouds
To drown in dark lake
I startled awake
Heart and head bowed
I felt my fists shake
Waking’s a struggle to drive
Away dreams of dark omen
Unwary, I close my eyes
They rise before me again
Why is the reward of my past
The return of darkness in my dreams?
When I thought I could rest at last
A new curse is cast upon me
I despair of the chance to ask
Why can I never be free?
I am fear; fear is I
who sees the pieces in the mirror cry.
Reflecting eyes; eyes reflecting
the river behind the aching sighs.
I am here; here is I
in addled thoughts that plague the eyes.
My pasture's dry; dry my pasture
from fires beneath the flowing tries.
I am near; near is I
to crowded rooms that haunt my cries.
Protective lies; lies protective
of hands that reach for the quick goodbye.
I am clear; clear is I
who sees the window to the ghoul's eye.
My frozen skies; frozen my skies
in standstill dreams... who am I?
Stretch your hand outward
And capture the rays of the sun
The shadows will chase
And do their best to haunt you
Turn dreams to nightmares
Dream of the dreamer
Covet yourself from Night's mare
Let your hope shine bright
Heavy chest. Chained limbs.
Vivid senses, but a blurred vision.
Awake, but hope dims
As the bed becomes a grim prison.
It's from these deceiving dreams, I believe,
And the tempting embrace of slumber
Into which woes I'd sought to relieve.
Alas, here I lay.
Frozen senses, but some - sound, sight, touch -
Remain to parlay
Those who love the shadows o so much.
Is that my mother? No, it can't be.
But who stands there, watching at my side?
Could it be my sister to wake me?
The same vague figure
Always at the ready to deceive
And eager to lure
Me, tried and worn, from the bed to leave.
Possessing my mother's sweet, soft voice,
Imitating my father's presence,
Holding me down, leaving me no choice.
Tied at all my limbs,
At the chest too; there is no escape.
I hear the grim hymns
Of that shadowy figure, whose shape
Embraces my body - I can't breathe!
More than my mind, at times, it will rape.
All I can do is hope to be free.
It all feels so real.
To the bed I'm pinned as these horrors
Make way with such zeal.
I can't even scream, despite the tortures.
Breathing heavily, I try to move,
Watching what else the figure conjures.
It's for these nightmares, to sleep, I rue.
Oh how nice it must be too sleep, to lay in a dream that's mine too keep, to play in a land of my minds own construction, to nest in my bed's slumbering seduction.
But dreams were never meant for me, for when I'm in bed my mind never feels free, its trapped in reality how dearly I plea, howbeit dreams were never meant for me.
Too fearful of what my mind can conjure, fresh tortures to use as the monsters go stronger, they saunter and strut in the prison that is she, for sweet dreams were never meant for me.
By Arcassin Burnham
Mister Mr. Spare me the cheap talk and all
Of the schemes,
I'm not amused by your dilemma of sneaking
I'm just waiting for all of these nightmares to
Turn into dreams,
The problems will occur wherever you are by
I'm glad to be a teacher,
I hate to be learning,
While gravity is holding us down,
Inside we're burning,
So I lock myself in a freezer to prevent being grilled,
Didn't ask to hear about your gossip,
Please save me the grief.
I'm glad to be a teacher,
Together we swim,
Skin touching satin skin
Fingertips grazing knees and thighs
As my engine of a heart enters overdrive with glee
Her breath keeps me alive against the strain of our instincts
My breath catches and my body contorts
Until I am suddenly entangled with a hooded figure instead
His heavy limbs pin me against the wall and his hands greedily search through my home
I realize I am being robbed but
He's not a stranger
His lips warm my neck and I choke on his telltale cologne as his hands hastily break through the deepest closets that house my innocence, my treasures, and no matter how sternly I refuse, he shoves through the doors until he finds exactly what he wants
I thought it was hidden
I thought it was safe
I thought it was mine
He smiles and lavishly thrusts his hands into my special box
Between heavy breaths,
for giving him access to my prized possession,
To my heart
when he asked for a taste
I refused. But
He insisted and
And pushing against the wooden door until it splintered and snapped and he could enter with
Once inside, I had no choice
but to let him manhandle my possessions,
I can never again close that door that He broke
To fulfill his needs and
To satisfy his craving
Although he leaves with satisfaction dripping from his palms
I know it won't last forever
His hunger will return again,
And no matter how much I invest in new locks
and thicker blockades around my special space
He has already stolen a taste of the core of my emotions that
That door served to protect
He will return again,
with a sense of entitlement to my insides
And I won't fight back
Because his sweaty palms and greasy skin have already leaked onto the pieces
Even those he had not yet touched
My pure and personal secret now leaves nothing but bitterness on my tongue and stains on my body
I still feel his hands, not hers
I hear his breathing
Feel his weight pressing against me,
His hands destroying my body
I become hysterical and
Tears burn my eyes and stain our sheets.
I see the panic in her eyes
She doesn't know
She doesn't know I'm dirty and broken
She doesn't know why
And I can't
I would be too
But I'm dead inside.