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I had run out of it i'm out of it
mind you my mind that ran away
first by feet then by train
paxil was her name a rotundish
hard skinned pink pill of a pimp
so sleeping a tossing flipping
dreaming dream i witnessed a mess
messing up a dream:

this slot of sliced land jutting
with clapboard housing a shouting
with roaches a toasting the best
of a meal they boasted
the strangest of stranglets in
a land of strangler piglets;

two step eddie backed up to a window
owned by a rider, says he with
back to a drive-thru widow, 'take
this shotgun, won't need it, take
this broad sword too, and take this
forty-four again won't need it,
i'll keep this grenade cause it
needs me more -- see that man there
, snagged my lawn cutting his own
, watch me walk over there.

Two-step walks over there and pulls
the pin and once again they do like
they do the owner of that window
was a copy-cop over 44 and says
to eddie, 'don't pull that pin you
sons of guns, sons of burning suns!"
Pin pulled, trigger pressed two slugs
in the valley of the deepest cracks
of two buns and all is done.

And the female dog under the oak
toking-tree says to her male friend,
'your banging will wake up the
recently dead if you don't stop
banging and start more slapping instead;
no-step eddie tells the devil he
needs to brush his tooth but forgot
his teeth brush under the bush.

Never cold turkey Paroxetine
and slip to sleep on a Monday.

:: 06-26-2018 ::
strange dream, caught in the cold.  cold turkey paxil is not a funny matter.  Ugh.  It was the most unbearable!
Awake in pain
My body in the midst
Of fight or flight
And I choose to fight
This crippling anxiety
That has caused me to flee
For years I’ve lost count of
Remembering my childhood
Crying incessantly
But never knowing why
My heart would not stop racing
Now I know the truth
But I must state
Awareness never makes this easier
Feeling the panic swell
Gripping my muscles
Frozen
Flooding my brain
With unwelcomed memories
I believed I’d pushed past
Buried in the depths of my mind
Waiting for the moment
When my defenses were lowered
The minute I close my eyes to rest
The second I decided it was time
To shut off for the day
My stress picks up the signal
And shakes me loose
From my restful sleep
It’s when the sun drops low,
And everyone’s busy
deep in their slumber.

My demons come out,
One after the other.
Raking their nails on the floorboards,
Flickering just out of view.

I’m glad tonight,
During all their cat and mouse games,
I have the thought of you
to comfort me and
keep a smile on my face.
You are real
I know you are because I saw you
I can never forget the look on your eyes when you met mine
and that smug that made time freeze

You are real
I know you are because I felt you
The tender touch of your hand
and that gentle yet excruciating feeling when you grabbed my neck

You are real
I know you are because I heard you
Your laughter that haunted every nerve in my body
and the sound of your heavy breathing as I watch you sleep

Are you real?
I am no longer sure you are because I can't find you
I need to find you
I need to know that you still exist in real life
and not just on my 3am drunk thoughts

I need to find you
I need to know that you won't hurt me
I need to to know if your existence would affect my present and my future

I want to find you
I need to find you
Before you find me
documenting nightmares
Rattling shutters
Howling wind and lightning strikes
Spark chills and wake fears
© LadyRavenhill 2018
Haiku #60
Robin Lemmen Sep 11
Even my nightmares miss you
Because being welcomed home
In your strength and safety
Was enough to satisfy them
And make way for dreaming
Jade Bartlett Sep 11
The night
breathes down the back of my neck
in tendrils of air that reek
of Mexican cigars
and something like copper
(something like blood).

Cold bedsheets cling to
the perspiration on my body,
stick to me like a band-aid.
Come morning,
it will hurt
to peel them off--
it will hurt to get out of bed
(perpetual exhaustion
will do that
to a girl).

A clock prowls in the
corner of the room,
pondering the hours
of sleep that have evaded me
with every hopeless tick
of its gnarled hands.

Lost time adheres to
the skin beneath my eyes–
black as the darkness
that threatens to devour me.

From somewhere
within the abysmal black
she glares at me menacingly,
her red eyes smouldering
in the opaqueness,
yellow fangs bearing down on me
like the bars of a prison cell.
for I am her captive–
I am a slave of The Night.
Aaron LaLux Sep 11
You were just a dream,
I wasn’t allowed to keep,
like any unknown the odds were always 50/50.
but I knew the risk when I took that leap,

& it's not your fault nor is it mine,
it's just The Fault In Our Stars shout out to John Green,
Blame It On The Rain feeling as silly as Milli Vanilli,
feeling like everything's fake like you're only a screen,

& maybe that's why I feel so detached,
& why when you spill your heart out I don't say a thing,
you overreact & I don't even react,
because like they say life is but a dream,

though to be fair I'd say it's more of a nightmare,
because we get to see it all but can't keep a thing,
sleepwalking through this waking life,
where the loudest noises are mute & the silence screams,

& the truth is you seemed so lucid,
that I felt stupid for not being able keep you here,
& I'm not making excuses but the truth is,
I choose to lose everything including you that I hold dear,

which makes sense since you were just a dream,
that I wasn’t allowed to keep,
like any unknown the odds were always 50/50,
but I knew the risk when I took that leap...

∆ Aaron La Lux ∆

new book 100% free here: www.scribd.com/document/388173677
Kayla Sep 10
The night terrors have returned to haunt me
Not able to sleep alone in my own bed
The monsters in my dreams look like you
The look of being used and hurt by you
When I am asleep with my eyes still open
Scared that they might come alive
And eat my sleeping body
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