Mike D 3h

Always walking that line
Always tempting fate
All these temptations calling me
I attempt to numb pain

Got the temperature rising
Know I can be temperamental
My temper’s ‘bout to unleash
Doing something regretful

A temporary escape
From two to ten on the dial
The temper-tantrum and screams
Like a tempestuous child

Perhaps a temporal shift
Like Anty Em’ on the farm
The tempest carries away
Ship wrecked alone I am gone

My template shows me the way
Temptress I can not escape
Contemptuously I have temperance
Finding tempo ‘til break

A temple shrine I pay tribute
Silently contemplate
Please Lord grant me forgiveness
For my wrongs and mistakes

Written - December 25, 2017

All rights reserved.

Elvie my dark Lord
Magic is not real
We feel till can't feel
Or we numb what Is real
Burn my roses
Lick my ashes
Make myself disappear
Part of me feels like it isn't here
Time and space
We're drifting at bay
Though you cannot stay
Elvie my dark lord
Can't we play?

There's is nothing worse than feeling numb
N
   U
      M
          B
It's literally the feeling of feeling nothing
N
O
   T
    H
    I
  N
G
But I want to feel something
S
O
  M
   E
    T
      I
     N
    G
What should I do?
How can I forget you?
How can I let myself feel?
If the baggage would kill me?
K
I
  L
   L
    M  E

i woke up this morning and felt nothing
my anxiety was gone
my sadness was gone
my pain was gone
my happiness was gone
my excitement was gone
my joy was gone

i went about my day
just a typical day
smiled, laughed, worked, came home
my boyfriend asked how i was
same answer as usual; fine

my eyes tired
my mind numb
no energy for emotion
no explanation or reason

so I will go to bed
and feel nothing

Mae 5d

Wordless thoughts leak from the corners of my eyes
Each drip filled with so much meaning
I feel naked as my insides are exposed to the world
Darkness is my only comfort
It's the only mask I feel free to bury myself beneath
I allow it to embrace me while it keeps me hidden
I think I'm in love with nothing
More than ever
It's all I want to be

Bobcat 5d

It's been a while since I've written
It may be 'cause it's been a while
Since I've really felt anything at all

One little white pill
"It'll take all the pain away"
But the dealer never told me
My new friend was here to stay
So before you say yes
There's something I need to say

You'll lie awake wishing for pain
At least then you'll feel something
But it'll never fucking come
Because your friend you call numb
Calls your brain home

Numbness used to be my friend
But when you invite him over
He'll never want to leave
And you'll do everything you can
To evict him from your home
But forever there he'll stay
And you'll always feel alone

My tiny round friends used to be so kind
Now I'm reminiscing on times I felt alive

Whatever.

remember back to when i was 13
& how the only thing i wrote about
was that childish unrequited love.
the same metaphor
again & again.
i'm grown now,
several years older
& still trying to make my parents proud.
& i almost miss it,
the simplicity
of a youthful heart.  
mom, i don't think i remember how to love anymore.
i miss calling your eyes the sea
& knowing what everyone means
when they talk about their fluttery heartbeat.
& when people talk to me
i don't think they miss it,
the change in how i spoke.
how this used-to-be bleeding heart
froze over.
because of another woman's lover.

LilmizzXO Jan 7

I am not alive
I am not dead inside either
I am merely just, floating...

Floating to other realms of the world
Exploring perspectives that others cannot foresee
But lost in my own mind and trapped by my nature
I lose myself in my fucked up thoughts

Washed out by my own insecurities of failure and anger
Writhed in anger by what I can never encounter myself to
Anger, a new feeling that bursts in my every intention to human nature.

Empty, numb, cold...
I am nothing but my aching miserable thoughts
No control
No hold...

Death is cruel
Lurking in the shadows
Without ringing the bell
Drags you to hollows

How? My mind haywire
Clarity's presence
Burned in fire
Gone in my essence

Blanks and blanks
I don't know what to think
Tears in tanks
For every blink

I can't accept this
It's so unreal
Something amiss
Against my will

What to do?
Do I even have a choice?
Leaving with rue
Wailing with raspy voice

Leaving leaves love lifeless

Causing cries come clueless

Still saying simply stay

Writhing while weeping why walking wallydrag's way

nanda Jan 5

in a void of noise
in the in-between light
in the border of shadows
in the verge of tears
in the corner of a smile

i am everywhere and no where
i cannot find myself
i cannot find meaning
i look in the mirror
sunburnt skin
deep chocolate eyes
dark mane and sharp lips
i see nothing behind my eyes
no spark

i am somewhere i donot know
donot recognize
my heart is the only constant noise
and the only memory left
on my impaired brain
is you

feeling empty
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