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Deep down in the darkness

I transform

I am hiding under the shadow of myself
Emery 8h
Gently, I run my tongue along the sharp edge of the can,
Iced tea-lemonade and a sense of exhaustion.
I bury myself in work,
For a moment's time I'll avoid it
But there is never an escape.

There is a void that no one can fill
I am a broken bowl.
And it's no one's job to fix me
To mend my broken soul,
Shattered from a young age.

I am selfish.
I'm jealous.
I am a disgusting soul who craves modest attention and hates to be seen.
If I pretend a little longer, I might become real, I'll step inside the world I've been watching for so long.
But once you leave, I'll disappear again.
I am nothing.

Time is an enemy,
Along with my memory.
I forget what made me happy
And those who laughed with me, and made me feel special.

It's that ****** mind,
Why is it so hard to remember!
I want to remember, but I know it will only hurt.
I can't handle nostalgia,
I will break.
Was I pretending then?

Patched up friendships and Netflix shows won't fix me.
Nail polish and energy drinks won't satisfy me.
Nor will anything else.

Too broken to smile,
Too numb to cry.

At the end of the day, it all comes rushing back.
There is no escape,
Yet I continue on.
This has no format whatsoever, but I had to get the lines out. I'm sorry, it kinda *****.
Greta 5d
I am so alone
that I don't have people
to talk **** about

I am so alone
that I don't have great stories
about broken hearts to tell

I am so alone
that not even a single tear
ran down my cheek last night

I'm so alone
that I don't want someone
that makes me happy

actually
i am so alone that I want someone
capable of making me cry
M Feb 15
Bare handed I crawl my way up
Towards the sun if I must
"Unburden my mind, mother. Stomp on my ego, make it null, but make me whole.
Part one of what's to come <3
Mackenzy Feb 14
Empty stares and glazed eyes,
dragging my feet walking to the tub.
Stripping down to my bare self,
helplessness washes over me.
I don't want to see what I've done to me,
the scars, fresh marks,
the guilt, shame, pain,
these wash over as I dip into
my memories.
Jessica Oge Feb 9
I'm numb, i can't feel
I want to feel pain
at least thats an emotion
Tears no longer come
my eyes are dried out

I've lost sleep
I want to feel guilt
that too feels like a stain
I want to scream
an empty echo follows

I question my choices
am i not deserving
All i ask is to feel human
acknowledge my rights
am i seeking too much

Faces of strangers haunt me
It hurts to close my eyes
So i made a choice
To sit and feel
To hold on to anger as fuel
To let go but never forget
I can't stop, won't stop
I chose Confidence.
bet on you and walk in confidence.
Emma Pratt Feb 3
i have butterflies
every single one unique in its own way
beautiful delicate wings
with intricate patterns and a variety of colors

each individually carved from stone
by the anxious claws that embed themselves into my skin

i focus on those butterflies
if only to distract me
from my thoughts in my head
from my tingling fingers turning numb
from my pounding heart
and from the air that is no longer in my lungs

i focus on those butterflies
on the way their rough wings scrape along the inside of my stomach
their screams from being crushed by those sharpened claws
and the heavy
sickening feeling
they leave behind
Cae Feb 8
tired is all i can describe
for this feeling of nothingness

tired is the only word i can think of
to explain this feeling of emptiness

i wish my mind wasn't so tired.
tired of overthinking everything.
tired of being afraid of everything.

maybe one day i'll wake up
and finally have the energy
to describe this feeling as more than
just tired
Emery Feb 5
The room sits heavily before me
The ceiling slouches between bloated walls
Will they swallow me up?
Maybe they'll leave me with the demons,
They creep and crawl inside my mind.

The doctor says I'm fine, but my eyes refuse to see
I float inside a fuzzy mind
Numb to the pain, but craving satisfaction
Emptiness is the only solace I find;
It smothers me in its embrace

I run a hand along the drywall, eyes closed
I long for connection, but it's all in vain.
Every second, slowly loosing my grip,
I know...
I'm disappearing
There is an artist in me
Staring despondently
Lost and in disparity

They say you stare at the void
And it stares back at you

But here there be a blank canvas
Just as blank as me too.
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