Gently, I run my tongue along the sharp edge of the can,
Iced tea-lemonade and a sense of exhaustion.
I bury myself in work,
For a moment's time I'll avoid it
But there is never an escape.

There is a void that no one can fill
I am a broken bowl.
And it's no one's job to fix me
To mend my broken soul,
Shattered from a young age.

I am selfish.
I'm jealous.
I am a disgusting soul who craves modest attention and hates to be seen.
If I pretend a little longer, I might become real, I'll step inside the world I've been watching for so long.
But once you leave, I'll disappear again.
I am nothing.

Time is an enemy,
Along with my memory.
I forget what made me happy
And those who laughed with me, and made me feel special.

It's that ****** mind,
Why is it so hard to remember!
I want to remember, but I know it will only hurt.
I can't handle nostalgia,
I will break.
Was I pretending then?

Patched up friendships and Netflix shows won't fix me.
Nail polish and energy drinks won't satisfy me.
Nor will anything else.

Too broken to smile,
Too numb to cry.

At the end of the day, it all comes rushing back.
There is no escape,
Yet I continue on.