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They say girls like something shiny
And that may very well be true
Bigger is better but I'll take tiny
No matter the size I'll make do

Of course I have my favorites
Or those meant for special occasions
Getting dolled up I want to savor it
Adorning myself prematurely for my sins

Perhaps they get jealous of each other
So maybe I'll take them all out for display
They sparkle perfectly making me stutter
Stroking each longingly before we play
When I get this numb I know I'm supposed to be scared but I don't remember how.
To feel lost in time is like waking up to nothingness

Numbness and pain fighting for dominance

Being awake but wishing for sleep

Life and death merging into one

Finding yourself being ripped in half but a thread holding the pieces together

Not knowing how to continue and yet walking forwards anyways

Wanting to disappear and yet still existing
qeren Sep 7
you,
who acquire a very delicate heart
was hurt too many times
that you don’t feel pain anymore.

you,
who became numb of all things
has finally found everything tedious
and live in absolute indifference.

for you,
the world only holds the color
of black and white,
even with no shade of grey
or everything in between.

tt has become a part of who you are,
in solitude, utter numbness, apathetic

empty.
nothing.
this is who you truly are, no?
Persephone Sep 2
I hope you are good friends with your emotions
That they are cherished and loved
Because once you make a habit of hiding them away
They stop coming around
WistfulHope Sep 2
don't worry baby it was just a game just a game i know how much you like those i know how much you like the pain and the tragedy and the mother ******* insanity why else would you talk to yourself so much why else would you **** everyone else as often as you **** yourself we know you're self aware don't play stupid even though you really are stupid if this is the game you choose rattling pills like dice hoping at least one of us will be nice but sorry sweetheart that's not how it's played no one loves you that's why none of them have ******* stayed but don't worry at least you have the voices in you head for ******* company i know playing the game is no fun when your alone so just keep tally until we're done and don't worry i won't tell any of them how much of you is really real and how much is pitch black sin you paint brightly to conceal baby don't cry when i'm here just because you want to die if you hate me so much then why don't you ever leave if you hate me so much then why do you garden with me if you hate me so much then why give me ******* roses you know i pluck the petals and watch them decompose baby why play the game if you can't stand to loose you don't have to stomach it if you choke yourself on ***** but that's never been you that's not the ******* good **** that you crave but drink it any way and choose any bottle for the chase baby it's so funny how sad you pretend to be when we both know the scary part is you don't feel a **** thing so let me help you remember how deep the losses can go baby just remember not to let them show
I'm not your ******* baby. ****.
Nicx Sep 2
Sadness and numbness collide
It feels like too much and I'm not alright
I can tell something's wrong inside
If it weren't so hard I'd give up on this fight
A piece of me wants to get better
Other parts just want my demise
So back and forth my mood tremors
So many thoughts that they all sound like lies
I'm too anxious to even discuss it
Too many choices I make make it worse
The doctors say drugs do not help this
But this bottle's relief and a curse
It's so hard to complain since I know that
My own actions add weight to this burden
I crave an escape but I forget
Not even those will stop this hurting
WistfulHope Sep 1
Torn flesh haunts my nightmares and daydreams

My sanity slips away on crimson puddles that stain my thoughts

Numbness I used to fight with pain has morphed into a nauseating depth I want to fill with a scarlet flood to drown out the feeling
I feel so broken I want to **** myself.
riri Sep 1
it's funny looking back at how much you broke me
because now i can't feel a single thing for anyone anymore
but the thought of you has faded now
i just wonder when i'll get to feel that way again
just completely numb.
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