To feel numb
                                           Withdrawal
To be judged,
                                           Expectation
To be in a world
                                           Existing
Harsh night, broken heart and a walk.
"Man dies of cold, not of darkness."
-Miguel de Unamuno
Rowan S 20h
I use my shaded 3rd and 4th eyes
To hide indifference
And at times I feel a post-dentist numbness
Across the expanse of my mind
And it begins to seep
Leak
Sneak
Into the marrow and tendons of my being
Hey.
Ask me later if I give a sh*t
Except when I say I don't give a sh*t, I usually do.
Esther Krenzin Dec 2018
When the tears spring to my eyes like a salty mist
this is where I go
where I stay
All my thoughts and feelings pour out into words
bleeding and transforming that which is
untouchable
into something tangible
For though I long to scream, to shout, to cry
a small creature within holds me back
and I don't know what it is
What is this beast that slumbers inside?
I find myself an anomaly I cannot understand
and wonder if others think the same

They say I am harsh, cold, and mean
and I know, I know what I am
but something small and tender
aching and afraid
urges me to unleash my claws in a desperate attempt to
defend my heart
It is impossible to ignore, because it abides
deep in my bones
and when I was young and starry eyed
I used to tell myself it was okay
but its not
it never was
When life becomes hard, I do too
and I am sorry, ever so sorry for those who unleash
their own claws on me
for they will find a whirlwind of steely fangs and ire
bursting to the brim with ferocity

I am broken, splintered, ever so weathered
from what life has thrown at me
I see now that it isn't about
surviving
Its about living
But how can I call this living when all the softness
I used to see in this world
is gone?
There is a monster within that hurts ever so much. There is a monster within that bares its teeth and bites.
immersing myself
in the absence of actuality

to save itself, my mind
must be made numb

by simply running from
one dream to another

lured into temporary bliss
with each sip, relationship, drug, job

gravitating towards
triviality and banality

for most of my life,
i’ve done nothing but run

from myself
Danneli 7d
I know this game, my dear, in fact
I invented it myself
The game of falling to a war
So when I rise, they think they helped
Now answer me a question, love
To one question I'll succumb
Is it best to feel their pain
Or to simply just go numb?
That's my question. The one that matters. Does it hurt more to feel the pain of others, or to know you've lost the ability to? My best acting is now.
Emptiness,
Numbness,
Loneliness,

A wave of heat rushes through your heart,
Like electricity through a power surge.
It grabs ahold of your body,
Like a demon possessing your being

Heart pounds,
Harder and harder,
Louder and louder,
Faster and faster,

You’re desperate,
Searching for a way to rid yourself of this feeling,
Anything for a way out.

What did you do that was so wrong?
Why are you so forgiving when it is not reciprocated?

The heat begins scorching your heart,
You feel the aching pain and it overpowers you
You grow darker and darker,
The heat is so powerful it leaves permanent burn marks,
It’s too much to handle,
The darkness must be stopped it before it takes full control.

You finally give in:
I’m Sorry
I have a friend
His name is Nothing
He is a feeling
Where I go, he follows

He sits in the passenger seat of my car
He is the shadow that follows me when the sun is out

Nothing watches me at night
When I stare into the darkness
He laughs through the agony as my tears fall

Because I can't close my eyes

Nothing mocks me
Nothing steals my light

He stole my light

And sometimes he gets lonely
So he brings a friend along

Her name is Pain

Pain likes to whisper malicious secrets

She overwhelms me

She likes to remind me that I've lost my color

And there is a dim grey in everything I once loved


I am forced to carry them

I can't scream

Because they tell me to stay silent

And I do

I know they are bad company
I know I shouldn't listen

But they know me

Pain tells me stories of people like me
She tells me of their beautiful smiles
Melodious laughs

you're a liar

Pain tells me that people don't crumble in a day
She tells me that Nothing is a deception

I like when she visits
Pain reminds me that I am not made of stone

I bleed when I'm with her

pain is bad company


But pain is the only one who reminds me on my darkest days

That it's okay to be human
Bibby 6d
The thought of ghosts stopped scaring me,
When I realized,
I was more dead then they would ever be.
Relating to the numbness I get alongside Depression, it's *** awful.
Latifah 7d
It felt good
Not to feel a thing
To feel nothing
For you
To feel like I never knew you
To feel like you’re just another
Passing stranger.
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