Tori 8h

Those three simple words
The "I love you"
You didn't mean them
And this I knew.

But I cared not then
For I treasured them so
In my minds great museum
I'd revisit the show.

I thought this would pass
But the feelings remain
Years have long past
And I still feel the pain.

You never knew me
For I loved like a shadow
Going unnoticed
All empty and shallow.

I watched you find love
As I prayed that you would
Though it makes me ache more
I know it's for the good.

Unrequited love is
Like a flower without sun.
I cling to a love
That had never begun.

An idea of a person.
A feeling. A hope.
I hung from the cliff
By an imaginary rope.

I found I wasn't hanging
But falling....for you.
I shot down. I plummeted.
And you never knew.

But it's really okay,
If you never know me
For all that I want
It to see you be happy.

Dedicated to my unrequited love....Some people start a fire in you that never burns out.
Lacuna 11h

its not the way you hurting me
its the reason why you hurting me
u used to be my medicine
but now you are the one who causing the wounds

Lacuna 13h

Patah hatinya, pikirannya entah kemana
Berselimut kenangan
Sedih, sakit, dan juga pilu
Pasalnya aku selalu berpikir bahwa yang patah akan tumbuh
Yang hilang akan berganti
Tetapi kenapa bayangan mu masih terus datang dan mengunjungi?

liv 19h

i can tell you're hurting
i can tell behind that forced smile
behind that phone screen
behind the poetry you're writing
i've been reading in between the lines
and i want you to know
you can lay it all on me
it makes my stomach churn
knowing you're still hurting
that there are wounds still healing
and i wonder
if i'll be enough to help
or is time the only healer

shitty free verse but ohwhale

Lately the only thing I'm interested in is putting myself down
telling myself that I am NOT good enough
treating myself with less respect than I would ever treat anyone else
I don't even give myself the time of day
Just drowning out my thoughts
because they arent worth listening to

No matter what decision I make
I come around to say
It was probably the wrong one

There are many girls out there
with unloving fathers
I am not special in that regard
The difference is
I was always told that he did love me
And maybe in some way he did
But he was never able to show it

...if he really did

So I grew up believing
that the apathetic man
who rarely took interest in me
or the things I cared about
and constantly tore me down
with every mistake I made
was the epidemy of love

I learned to trust words over actions
somewhere deep down
I always knew his actions didn't line up
but you can do anything to convince yourself of love

I am beginning to learn what love is
But am broken down
By finding first what love isn't

My dam is full and its about to break, it reached capacity this morning. Slowly for the past 3 months it's been filling up with emotions I never shared, my thoughts I never spoke and my actions in which I'm not sure if I should or shouldn't have done. Scared and helpless on what to do now; What is there to be done? No one to get supplies and help fix it. Do I even want to fix it? Why fix anything when theres no one that will need saving. The man who helped build this dam is working for a new girl now. As the damn breaks ill be standing on top, drinking liquor while painting pictures on my arm in red with a silver pencil.

So i am not surprised,
how your silence has pained me.
Hit me in the heart
with the force of a thousand needles.
As if i would have been trapped underwater, holding my breathe,
afraid to let go.
Trapped, helpless and vulnerable.
You can make me feel loved and wanted,
as if this world is our sweet haven.
Then you bring me down.
As if all love, all my etheral fantasies and futuristic dreams,
are but a moment's charade.

My love,
i am trapped in your love.


People always leave
broken leaves under trees
so indecisive I deceive
my inner means
and what they really mean.
Eyes in the screen,
a silent scream.
I am the shadow king
of my loneliness
in a world of bad luck
where my spirits run amok.

I'm stuck.
Listen to the words
that I took
from the birds
that are hooked
to the chains
with no gain
and free from the outlook.

I left my conscience here.
I don't want to wake up if you're not here.
Aware of what is not clear,
I steer my eyes until you're in rear.

Words of these feelings are hard to find, but I try.

Do not tell me
This is only a phase
Do not tell me
Slow down, don't make haste
Do not tell me
That's part of growing up
Do not tell me
Maybe you should just stop
Do not tell me
Time heals all wounds
Do not tell me
I was a huge fool
Do not tell me
It was so obvious
Do not tell me
Do not tell me
Please... please...
Do not tell me these things
From this I do not gain
Do not tell me
All I am feeling is pain

People tell me all these things to build me up
Yet they do not realize
I'm only being broken down
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