maxine 21m
i hear a lyric of you in every song
i see you in every restaurant at every table
in every passing car
in every movie theater and grocery store
but you're not really there
not anymore
i've always had a hard time letting go
but i've never experienced something like this
i talk about you like a lost love
i feel you like a gunshot
you weren't a muse
but you were the pain behind every word
you occupy my mind more than i'd like to admit
i miss you when i shouldn't
your smell haunts me along with sad violins
the things we never got to do together
the movie list we never finished
all of the empty promises
broken mugs
ripped pictures
i never got to congratulate you on graduating
or take you to disneyland
you don't know what my new dog looks like
or that i got my first tattoo
i don't really know you anymore
and you don't know me
and i think that makes me more sad than anything
that the person i spent every minute with is someone completely new
i also never got to say thank you
for all of your hugs
the music you showed me
the jokes we had
the times you really did save my life
the times you gave me the reality check i needed
and the times you cleaned my self-inflicted wounds and told me you loved me, you'll never know how much that meant to me
you'd be happy to know i'm two months strong
or would you?
do you even think of me?
i never got to apologize
for the unintentional mean things i said
and the intentional mean things i said
the times i ripped your curtains down
or screamed because i was afraid of losing you
the times i went overboard
all of my unwarranted apologies for feeling inadequate
my jealousy
which have all resulted in losing you
which isn't all my fault
but i'm no innocent bystander
so like i said
i miss you
everything about you
and us
but it all happened for a reason
maybe we were a flame waiting to be blown out
but my love is still there
and even though i won't reach out
and i know you never will either
and the realization that this is the end has set in
i still love you
and miss you
and you'll never fully understand your impact
whether it was good or bad
you were someone that molded me
that changed my course of life
and who knows where i'd be if you hadn't broke my heart
so here's to us
and 2 years of friendship that we never got to celebrate
but God knows i thought about you all day
because i'm sad
and lost
and don't know where to go from here
but i guess this is a start
with my hands typing away
as my heart sinks
and i listen to a playlist that reminds me of nothing but you and our car rides
it's a start
so this isn't goodbye
but a mere remembrance of you
and all of the great things
along with the bad
because maybe if i continue to write to and about the ghost of you
the tears on my pillow will dry faster.
i am well aware the title of this is also the title of a fall out boy song, that was intentional but all credits go to them if that's a thing?
this is about losing my friendship with best friend of two years, it's going to be a long recovery process, sorting through the good, bad, etc...
sorry i've been gone so long, life has been busy, BUT writing is my first love and i think with going through such treacherous heartache i should turn to it rather than bad things. much love xx
as always, i hope someone gets something out of this or even just thinks it's nice.
"your mother is an alcoholic,"
my mom jokingly said to
me one night
as she was pouring
herself another drink.

as a kid,
i didn't understand alcohol
or my mother's drinking habits.
she always seemed fine to me,
or at least pretended to be.

i didn't think anything
of the late nights,
or the excuses she sometimes

i smiled at her
and pretending i wasn't
actually worrying inside.
my mother was strong,
she was tough,
and i wasn't one
to criticize her drinking.

and while she said
those words as a
lighthearted joke,
i don't think she realized
i sometimes worried
for my future
and whether my
drinking habits
would hurt me
down the line.

i didn't want
to have to drink
to the bottom of the
bottle to feel something.

nor did i want to have
to drink to escape my reality.

it's a little twisted
and i'm not sure
when things got like this.

and the culture of college
doesn't help people like
me much.

"take another shot"
i take it to ease
the pain,
but i know in
the morning,
it won't make a difference,
i'll still feel the same.

ounces of alcohol,
stumbling legs,
loose smiles,
but things aren't
really what they seem.

i don't have to be
my mother's drinking habits,
pouring a glass each night
after work.

but how much
control do i actually have?
because i already feel
as if i'm spiraling
out of control.
Amanda 3h
My chest is ripped open; my heart laid bare,
For you to tear out like a page,
Bones are spread, it is ready for
You to free it from my ribcage.

This is my offering to you,
I wish it was not broken and used,
This beating monster is all I have to give,
It's beautiful, despite being abused.

The deepest cuts and battle wounds
May take a long time to fully heal,
They have built a thick armor around my trust,
So it is difficult for me to explain how I feel.

I know this present isn't a lot,
Not nearly what you deserve,
But the fear of one more abandonment,
Severs every wailing nerve.

As I stand here, crimson blood pooling,
I stick my hands inside of the hole,
Forcefully take this frustrated scar,
From the home it's made inside my soul.

It hurts so badly I can't even breathe,
My lungs gasp but can't find any air,
This pain is the only way I have to show you,
How hard this adoration is to bear.

I thrust this fragile sacrifice
Into your understanding arms to hold,
It is now yours to command as you please,
Or if you wish, leave out in the cold.

On its surface is a promise written
In honest ink to always be there,
But this meager token of my affection
Doesn't begin to express how much i truly care.

Now I fall to the ground, fingers growing numb,
My veins frozen as scarlet rivers run dry,
I don't think even death can show or prove
The love I feel for you but i had to try.

The last of my confidence
Leaks out with the waves of red,
I tried to share my demons with you
But I gave uncertain riddles instead.

All that remains of my spirit is shadows,
My body a puppet too flawed to save face,
You still carry my heart although it's not moving,
A paralyzed burden you shoulder with

It's steady thump has greatly slowed,
My pulse almost too feeble to feel,
Now in your grasp it will either crumble and die,
Or learn from your love how to gradually heal.
This just flowed from my fingers, I am surprised at how long it turned out to be but I am proud of how well I captured the raw emotions I felt.
The way you love
shows you've been
taken for granted
one too many times.
I was a welcome mat for your muddy and blistered feet
an open entrance for your troubled mind
a shelter for your shattered heart on nights where the silence became too loud

but soon, you took your refuge for granted,
my view of you over time became slanted
your dirty dishes in the sink were quicker to clean than being able to see what you were doing to me

a friendship that once felt like home became broken
and I became a pit stop that was conveniently placed on your
daily route
and you only paid in self-doubts

you were a wounded traveler that could never give, but could always take
and always left the next morning with pieces of my own sanity
I needed to lock my doors before I ended up losing everything
I took your pastel veins
and interlaced them with my cordial fingertips
I knew you were hurting
I could feel how fragile your life was in that moment
Like paper
-Creases for the martyr
Your bones have grown brittle and cold from the tainted oxygen hovering amidst our sorrow
And heartache is your closest friend
Like a pastel painting on a smoke stained canvas
Edges worn, color bleeding
-A work of art for the martyr
I feel your agony through your skin
Your eyes are tired and dwindling
Time, I know has not been on your side
I know
-No time for the martyr
anita 13h
i think
some part of
it would end
i had to deal
with any of
the hard
a page from my book, haunted (available on amazon)
Thank you for the memories you bring, a continuous video they play and they play.
Constant flashes of memories they sting, they pain they bruise me everyday.
Thank you for my failing mind, stone faced but a crumbling frame.
Endless dazes, that bring no shade, constant heat my heart, my face.
Sitting in uncomfortable silence
No longer husband and wife
From this day forward
Both starting a new life

Thinking on past memories
Brings me to tears
We have so many good ones
Over the years

The warmth and safety I feel
Makes me want to stay
When I see the hurt in your eyes
I have to look away

I love you so fucking much
But I can’t hurt anymore
I wish we could turn back time
To the way things were before

I will miss you
But it’s better this way
My heart is aching
But I know I cannot stay

You say I’m being selfish
And maybe it’s true
I keep trying to make it work
But I cannot forgive you

Our life together
Is ending here today
Going our separate ways
With nothing left to say

You lay in a separate room
We’re both crying and alone
Nothing left but memories
Of our family and our home
This one was really hard for me to write.
Alex 1d
Don’t fall in love with me.
There are days when I get sad without a reason and I just stare at the ceiling with tears streaming down my face.

Don’t fall in love with me.
On those days, I don’t talk to anyone. I just bury myself in my bed and think about how I became this mess of sadness.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will become attached to you and I will cry myself to sleep if you don’t text me good night before you go to sleep and I will convince myself that it’s because you got tired of me.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m too much. I will depend on you. I need attention, much more than other people. I’ll talk to you in metaphors and make you one. I’ll write poems about you and opening up my skin at 2 A.M.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I couldn’t stand you coming home to find me on the bathroom floor shaking and crying, with blood spilling from my wrists. I couldn’t stand seeing the disappointment in your eyes.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will pour everything I’ve left of me into you, every bit of love, until I have nothing to give. Until I become completely empty.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m scared that my sadness is contagious.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will replay your sweet words in my head when I hate myself so much that I want to die. Your words will be the only thing that make me stay.

Don’t fall in love with me.
You will live in fear. You won’t be able to leave me, because you’d know if you did, I wouldn’t have anything to live for.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Before I met you, there wasn’t a single person who could’ve made me stay. You’re my reason now.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Because I will fall in love with you.
By: Unknown writer
I didn't write this I found this. I have no clue who wrote this but I didn't. I just love this.
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