You're delusional. It's obvious,
Maybe you had one too many spliffs,
But I'm still on my game, don't get me started.
Every girl you meet makes you the dearly departed.
I wonder how many times your hearts been shattered?
See I take your pain and make it into batter.
I make you bitter and angry at the world,
But makes you feel so sick you kinda have to hurl.
I'm The reason shit is getting done.
I don't have distractions. It's me and my son.
Let me tell you something guy, it's awful cute,
That you think you'd survive if you gave me the boot.
Without me, there wouldn't be a "Us",
It'd just be you, buy or bust.
So for you to think you can simply lock me away,
And tell me that I'll never see the light of day?
It's wrong and you know just as well as I do,
That you can't hide away your demons,
Because we'll always find you.
I'm gonna be free soon, and you better fear me,
Signing off, both truly and sincerely,
you tell your friends bad things about me
you tell them lies about me
to make me look bad
you tell them im weird, ugly, and annoying
you tell them all these false things
just to make them like you
to make yourself feel powerful
to put me down
why do you hate me so much
My hands reached out to them,
My heart cried, all for them,
But my eyes were shut,
They couldn’t see that
it was me who was hurt.
Hurt, deeper than I thought I ever could be,
But there was no one, ever for me.
People came in and went by,
And I sat there singing lullabies.
Lullabies, telling the tales of
Friendships turned into hatred,
Of loves lost to the fated.
Tears shedding, as my cry deceases,
I put myself back into pieces.
Days went by since I last saw the sun,
But the love for them was never really undone.
Today, when I sit here beside the sunrise,
I see myself in the skies.
Leaning onto the window,
I sing some lullabies,
And this time, they are of
New love found and the beautiful sunshine.
the absolute release
and indescribable relief
of letting go--
allowing all hatred, all fears
to completely flow
out and away far from me,
leaving only love and acceptance
hoping that all near can see
the beauty, the wonder
the exquisiteness of what is pure--
not really knowing
or even being sure
if my words, my actions, my true heart
makes it through
to all those I yearn to touch
with everything I do--
but no longer indebted
to the ultimate test of fate--
all I ask is that me, myself and I
release all judgement, all hate
and simply endure and enjoy
the gifts surrounding me, my life--
but my utmost desire
is to rid myself and others of
unwanted angst and strife...
©Pamela Rae 09.14.2017
I'm lying naked, in your eyes i can see your dirty hatred
But i still want it...
Your precious degradation will be my salvation
Create my fate in this hopeless situation
Do i seem so demure?
Behind these eyes i am far from pure
Wrap your hand around my neck
The more you hurt me the hotter i get
Self hatred feeds these sick desires
And just a spark of pain can start the fire
Alone...i want your demons
Lonely...I need your dark
And now...i have your nothing.