There are thoughts... they
are caught in small blocks of ice and
hang from tiny miniature steel hooks in my brain,
Hanging metallic,
slipping from here to there
end to end
they have begun to melt,
And drip effortlessly,

dripping on my shoulder..

I am a slave to emptiness just like you,
I am a Captive...
To every hour that makes me older.
insanity creeps up on me
knowing i will lose my mind from time to time
knowing i will give in enough to feed it’s own make
knowing i’m in the brink of my own break
insanity is there for me
and sometimes it’s all i can be
JAC 1h
Today I died on the freeway
by the overpass on the 427

a hot and relentless August rain
made it too dark to be five thirty

I walked home slowly from work
as you do when you're tired

oh yes, I was sad too
but we all are

it's easy to be sad
when it rains in August

when I reached the overpass
in the middle I leaned over

my hair passed my eyes
and droplets fell

down, down

I thought about it
twenty feet into traffic

the guardrail is never as useful
as a sweet and good-hearted hug

so then I thought better of it
and put my headphones in

I died on the freeway
then got up and kept walking.
A lot of poems about rain and highways recently, but that's only because it's been raining very consistently and I'm on the highway every day. I don't seek out clichés, they find me.
She had eyes like a crater,
Innocent as any girl could be.
I think she had some bruises when I met her,
But it never seemed to deter me.

I chased her like a dog chasing tails,
Was only then I started to notice her dirty nails.
And then those Yellow eyes,
Blue and Yellow never look pretty to my mind.

She belled me with croaky breathes of air,
I rushed to her house shook and scared.
She was slumped against a wall with the choker she used to wear,
Strapped around her arm and specks of vomit in her hair.

She's got track marks like a craters,
Darkness lay dormant in her soul.
A once natural and elegant Beau,
Now alone in the world of Heroin and Blow.
Johnson 8h
Bewildered in my own dissolution
Never thought It would come to this
As I stare down the barrel of the past 22 years
I can’t seem to find myself to be missed

For so long I have laid
Scattered like a sheet
Like a ghost throughout the hallways
No eyes to ever meet

How much my soul has lust after
She who is not mine
A friend to call upon
In the darkest of my nights

For there is no escape in this entrapment
Which binds me to the bed
Forced to sit and watch others enjoy their pleasantries
While alone in this room I have bled

As I hold out for what may not appear
Gripping on to the edge for I feel it so near
I wait for the sweet caress of the morning to come
Only to arrive at blackening of my very soul

What I begin to lack in empathy
I make up for in shame
So much this has taken out of me
There’s so much I wish to say

As I sit alone in misery
Watching my youth slowly fade
What he gives  
He in turn takes away

For the world has been so callus
Never is anything free
What it rips from your hands
It only replaces with its vile deceit
Nothing more do I want from it
For so long it has remained the same
Take me away from it all
Release me from this state
Dia dhuit 12h
I don't know weather
I'm digging my grave
Or my past,
But I hope this feeling
Doesn't last forever
man, life really sucks
i still think about your green eyes
and how you made me feel
i still think about all the love
we gave and received from each other
i still think about our bumpy ride
but how it always smoothed out
i still think about the times
that almost ended our story
i remember the time our story ended
i think about the times you couldn’t hold
your anger inside
i remember when i told you to let go  
i still look down and see it  
my arms with your hand print
a outline made of bruising
and eyes full of tears
and my head as you pushed me down
and the cuts from the hits
i’m glad i think about the bad things too
Even if I fall in love with every single girl I lay eyes on for the rest of my life,
it still wouldn’t feel like the kind of love I felt,
when I fell in love with you.

I play this twisted game when I start to question why people talk to me. I call it “Are you paying attention”. Usually it’s not in person.

I’ll send a Snapchat that if you actually looked at it you would notice my glossy eyes and my red nose from crying.

But you won’t notice

I’ll smile when you tell a joke or I’ll nod in a agreement but you don’t watch my smile fade when I look away.

But you won’t notice

I’ll ask you if you’re ok to see if you ask me back. If you do respond you’ll believe me when I say I’m ok.

But you won’t notice

I’ll stay quiet and not as happy as I like to think I am. Hoping you notice and ask what’s wrong.

But you won’t notice

I want to think that you understand me. That you get me. I want to believe you listen when I’m upset. I want you to care. But when you don’t notice I know you don’t.

It’s a twisted game because you tell me you do care. And sometimes you show me you notice. Or when I’m crying you’re there for me. But if I don’t tell you something is wrong

You won’t notice
I don’t want you to tell me that I’m awesome
I don’t want you to tell me that I can do this
I don’t want you to tell me that I’m not fat
I don’t want you to tell me that I’m beautiful
I don’t want you to tell me I want ydon’t want you to tell me any of that

I want you to tell me you are here for me. That you won’t ever leave me. That you want to here what’s going on and you’ll stay until I can figure out what is going on. Tell me it is going to be ok and you will stay with me until it gets better.
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