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Whispering winds, the rustling of trees,
Amidst the green, a bench and quiet pleas.
A solace found, where sorrows nest,
My weary heart, finds silent rest.

A sturdy bench, with a strong wooden frame,
Supports the weight, of sorrows I daren't name.
Overcast clouds, crowd my mind in a storm,
Here on this bench, holds melancholy form.

Searching outside, of my internal struggles,
Happiness everywhere, just me with these troubles.
Family picnics, kids play on the hill,
Friends laugh together, as I sit frozen still.

How do they do it, I can't help but wonder,
they dance in the sunshine, while I'm stuck in the thunder.
No sadness to be seen, just smiles and glee,
I can see that it's possible, but is it possible for me?

But then I remember, as the day comes and goes,
We all have our moments, our highs and our lows.
Today I might be here, sat alone in the rain,
But Tomorrow may bring me, to the sunshine again.
Sometimes, the loneliest place is in a crowd.
AJ James Sep 22
My body is my own worst enemy
inside - and stuck
Inside - with no escape
from the claws of this illness that
take hold of me

Rage - it pours from me
still, even though I have
no energy

I am left with scraps of
who I once was
- - and now?
What am I but a shadow of a previous
copy version of me  

I yearn and I grieve and I plead
but I am led yet again and again
to an endless tunnel of dread
that fills me to the brim
with nothing left but
the face of the victim
staring back at me in the mirror

I fear so much and so often -
this weakness has a grip so fierce on me
this sickness that has stolen so much from me
this demon has ****** and fed
on every bit of strength I have bled
of every bit of happiness I have shed
and left me with -

Nothing but empty vacancy
That is how it feels to be stuck
a body that can no longer feel

My body is my own worst enemy
inside - and stuck
inside - with no escape
So here I stay
Stuck and inside - and
with no escape
I spent another evening
In one corner of
My mind...

My conscience is
Left bleeding,
And I don't know what I'll find...

My future hangs in balance,
I'm too nervous
To sleep,

But still I keep my chalice,
I fill it and
I drink...

The courthouse is
A palace,
Of justice and of

But when I walk inside it
I shake from head
To feet...

I beg the gods I
Don't believe
To grant me just
Some peace...

Please let me enter
Into hell
And walk out
On two feet...

Oh, let me enter into hell
And walk out
On two feet...
I'm going to court tomorrow for my first felony charge (yay) let's hope my lawyer does this job and I walk out of there free. I always get the shakes when I have to go to court; thank gods Xanax exists...
Holding broken pieces of past in the palms of my outstretched hands
Reasons evade me
I sit here struggling to understand
The edges dig deep
Causing tender skin to seep scarlet drops
Taking Tylenol to pummel pain until it finally stops
I'm ready to give up life and dive headfirst into my grave
It is difficult for me but I must admit my soul is far too gone to save
The devil stole it from my bones and doesn't plan on giving it back
Without it polished surface falters and slowly begins to crack
Just a glimpse into my depressing life
Alice Jun 30
Compressed in bed, feeling rigid,
Dreaming about animals dying.
The mornings kick so much harder-
Kick me right back into bed.

We just let the sun rise and set.
And let it be known-
I'm no more awake come noon,
No more awake at work,

No more awake in dreams:
Wading through syrupy water,
I feel that way come day.
I keep trying to speak up

But no one even sees the bubbles rise
Ikimi Festus Jun 17
In shadows cast by burdens' weight,
I wander through a bleak estate,
Where debts entwine like chains of fate,
And dreams of love lie desolate.

Oh, wretched soul, trapped in this snare,
My heart, once hopeful, now stripped bare,
For love's embrace seems all but fair,
As debts devour the joys we share.

The golden band that graced my hand,
A symbol of a promised land,
Now tarnished by the debtors' brand,
A bitter curse I can't withstand.

With each passing day, a mounting toll,
A debtors' song, an endless role,
No solace found in midnight's shoal,
As dreams of wedded bliss take a toll.

I yearn to hold my lover near,
To banish all the doubts and fear,
But in this realm of debts austere,
Our love's sweet whispers disappear.

The wedding bells, a distant chime,
Lost amidst this pitiless rhyme,
As debts entangle, stall, and bind,
Our future fades, a shattered mime.

No fairytale ending shall we find,
For love's foundation, undermined,
By creditors' greed, so unkind,
Our plans to wed, forever confined.

Oh, cruel fate, with callous glee,
You douse our hopes, relentlessly,
In this abyss, we'll cease to be,
A tragic tale of debt's decree.

So let my tears flow like a river,
For shattered dreams and love's endeavor,
As debts consume, and hearts deliver,
A woeful dirge, a love that withers.

In the depths of debt's relentless snare,
A lover's union, left threadbare,
A somber tale of love's despair,
Bound in the debt's suffocating lair.
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