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again, i hang my head in shame
a victim of my own impulse
burning every last good thing i have
i dont deserve any peace of what i have
the god of destruction laid its home in my chest
& has ceased to loosen its hold on me
i built the universe only to be afraid of everything honest & real
i have spread my fingers over the land only to embolden the wicked & punish the good
i have betrayed any trust you have laid in me
& tonight i know it ends
because again, i hang my head in shame
knowing i will break your heart
with nothing but the truth
i am a victim of my own impulse
which must mean i am no victim at all...
Eve K Jun 9
I'm surfing, along the coastline.
The waves pulling me in, my strength pushing me out.
Music in one ear, shouting in the other.
I breathe, a breath of salty air. It settles in my lungs and I choke.
Sometimes the salt can clear the alveoli and make it easier to breathe,
But not today.

Today the air is heavy. Clouds pour down single droplets but when altogether, it is a storm. The wind howls, burning my ears. Whispering that it's all too much.

I crave a fall into the ocean, pulled out to sea. It's become too much and I'm drowning.
But I'm not drowning. I float. I float with tears mixing into the salty water. I can feel the undercurrent begging me to come down to it so it can pin me down to the sea bed where I can hold my last breath and breath again.
But it's not breathing it's drowning and the thought makes me thrash around and I panic.
So instead, I panic on top of the water, thrashing and jerking around desperately trying not to drown.

The skies will become clear again. The stormy skies will reveal the blue which is always there. The stars are still shining underneath the despairing clouds. They are always there, just hidden at times.

All I have to do is breathe with the waves and stay afloat till the storm goes away.
over the past few years, I have experienced so many things as a nursing student working in a rest home and now the hospital. There's days, weeks, months where I struggle. The emotional overload of having to see the worst positions people are in. Sometimes it's hard to find hope again in these times. Especially when surrounded by death and despair and dying. It's not going to get easier but that's why I become more resilient. But it's also important to take moments when things are too tough to just sit with the feelings. Otherwise I will drown.
Im alright,
No, I lied,
My state of mind,
Is far from fine.
Nicx May 14
I crave to build a home
But I push everyone away
I want to set up a foundation
But every time I set it ablaze
I want something ethereal
But I ruin everything I touch
I want what doesn't exist
But I keep ignoring the rough
I want to stop running
But it's like I'm stuck on repeat
I want to give up
But I also can't stomach defeat
I want to let go of this life
Some days just feel like too much
I want you to "love" me
But I know even that won't be enough
Domino Black Apr 23
There are reasons why
I think the sky
Reminds me of myself,
And reasons why,
At night I cry,
I feel too dark
For someone else
Though, stars shine,
Just mild lights,
The reasons why
I don't own knives
Has less to do
With novelty
And more to do
with clouded judgment
theladyeve Apr 22
i no longer wish to be exceptional. be boring. be ordinary. do not stand out. be real. be authentic. cleanse your mind and body and start over. it’s never too late to start over.

i only wish to exist, that’s all. it takes a lot of strength to exist when sorrow, disruption, and misery follow you around, swirling like a black fog that constantly engulfs you. it takes so much willpower to see through the fog that when i stumble out or gasp for breath, i realize that ordinary IS exceptional. to survive the absolute hatred of being forced to live, i only wish to exist, that’s all.
It's astonishing...
How one chokes amidst the crowd,
And yet no one see..!
Hey Everyone...
Hope u all r gud and doing grt... BTW, AM BACK HERE AGAIN..! 😅
I know this feeling all to well
Waking up liver hurting like hell
So i reach for the bottle
The only thing I know will help
Reach out. There is hope. You can live a normal life again free from your addiction.
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