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kel 2d
i want to **** myself so badly,
to just disappear from this horrible life.
i must admit i'll gladly
take the devil's deal to get a knife
to carve my fragile heart out.
i'm scared of pain-
but at the same time, it entrances me.
i watch the little beads of blood again,
slowly forming into a puddle.
dancing on my wrist
stay away if ur a happy person, s/h mentioned
kel 3d
look at her, they say.
so polite and hardworking.
I reply with an okay-
and try to be like her.

look at her smiling on the stage, they say.
shining with a grade 8 in piano.
I reply with an okay-
and mold myself into someone they'll like.

look at her grades, they say.
getting top marks in every subject possible.
I reply with an okay-
but I'll always be inferior.

and they say, that's just how life works. </3
In a world so vast and wide,
Seeking answers, yet they hide,
In the shadows of my mind.
Paths diverge, which way to go?
Questions linger, answers slow,
Heart and mind in constant fight,
Searching for a guiding light.
Dreams and hopes, they intertwine,
In this maze, I seek a sign,
To find my way, to understand,
The mysteries of this land.
Yet in confusion, there’s a spark,
A chance to make a brand new mark,
For in the chaos, I might find,
A clearer path, a peace of mind.
But now I walk this road alone,
Since fate has taken you, my own,
Your memory, a guiding star,
Though you’re gone, you’re never far.
In the silence, I hear your voice,
In the darkness, I make a choice,
To carry on, though heart does ache,
For your love, my soul’s awake.
With God’s support, I find my way,
Through nights so dark, and brightest day,
Heaven waits, a promise true,
One day, my love, I’ll be with you.
kel 6d
today's another day
of doing nothing
i don't really feel okay
but i don't want to be bluffing
about being useful
for anyone or anything-
i'm trying to be truthful
telling myself i'm ugly
but i'm not good at my studies
i guess my parents are right
always saying i'm useless
Juliana 7d
It’s kinda weird to think about
Because sometimes I’m living so far in the past
And it’s almost like you’re mine again

There we are
Back in the gym, where I first met you
And there you are
Looking fine af
And there I am drooling over every single thing you do
Cause your arms and your legs and your shoulders and your chest just have a way of making me weak
Sometimes you talk to me
Sometimes you glance at me
Sometimes you ignore me
But I’m waiting
For you
To see
That I want you so so so badly

Then flash forward a couple months
We go on a golf date
It’s your first golf date
And my first date. Ever.
It’s awkward I try to talk to you and make conversation but your too introverted for me and it’s weird
But you’re just the right amount of introverted too
And I’m sorry
But I’m in love
With you
Sorry
Again

Suddenly we’re there
Late on a Thursday night
Like three in the morning
You pick me up
Because you can drive
And we go to an empty parking lot
Just me and you
And you kiss me
And I remember that kiss for the rest of my life
I remember you for the rest of my life
Because we’re together
And everything’s good
And no one’s hurt
And no one’s sad
And no one’s crying every single night about how much she wishes she could just kiss you again
Or even so much as hold your hand
Or rest her head in the space between your chin and your collarbone

And then suddenly I open my eyes
And ****
Just like magic
You’re gone again
Mom and Dad were at it again, their voices echoing through the house. It was like watching a storm brewing, dark clouds gathering and threatening to unleash a torrent of anger. The kids huddled in their rooms, their hearts pounding with fear.

The fight seemed endless, a vicious cycle of accusations and recriminations. It was as if they were two ships passing in the night, unable to find common ground or see each other's point of view. The air was thick with tension, and the children could feel the strain in their bones.

They longed for the storm to pass, for the peace and harmony that had once filled their home. But as the hours turned into days, it became clear that the conflict was far from over. The wounds were deep, and the scars would take time to heal.
Why can't everything be normal?
Àŧùl Sep 1
🖤❤️🤎🧡🤍🩶🖤
Always hoping for the good,
Rarely depressed, but now
Elated only by Tom & Jerry.

Had my life been a little less lonely,
Indeed I wouldn't be depressed,
Dead sure my heart wouldn't be sad,
Dreading the gaping hollowness,
Everyday I wakeup hoping for validation,
Not ready for more blind criticism.

The fiancée was jealous of my success,
How not I wanted, she was exactly that,
Expecting her to read my poems & novels.

Yet she wasn't interested in any of my arts,
Especially she disliked my songs,
Loving me she wasn't capable of,
Lonely & unwanted I felt,
Of me she thought to be vain,
What she didn't know I felt,
Someone she didn't respect.

Ambitions she had extreme,
Not ready to put her Karma,
Didn't I want just love from her.

Respect my wars she did not,
Even my victories,
Didn't impress her,
So, I called off the marriage.
My HP Poem #1979
©Atul Kaushal
kel Aug 25
the urge to somehow
**** myself painlessly
and allow
myself to walk around aimlessly
is starting to
creep up and up
as shampoo
dripped down from my hair
and i say to myself
when...?
kel Aug 25
feels like everyone's
angry at me
but i ain't aiming my gun
at them
because I'm done
being mad all the time
and i just wanna have fun
so i felt light and happy
and went for a run
for the first time in a few weeks
:)
Àŧùl Aug 22
I am waiting for her.

Arid responses will not encourage me,
Married to some stranger I shall not be.

But before you marry me,
Obviously, you should love me,
Right now I'm bereft of true love,
Erase my grief, don't be tacit,
Don't be brief, it's not implicit.

Away from me,
Lonely she's not,
Only sincere to life,
Not distracted by me,
Easy it's not to entice her.

Air in the room suffocates me,
So does my anonymity.

Hailing from the metro,
Early it is for her, a tad bit,
Love can certainly wait,
Love can surely grow.

But for her, I'll get an Enticer,
Up to her, I'll make it,
That's a promise to myself.

Her lips I'll long for,
Oh, not for a kiss,
Personally for some words,
Especially of admiration.

Thoughtful she's not,
Okay I'm not.

Beautiful dreams take time,
Especially as I'm weaving them alone.

Life, it gave me lemons,
Of all, I can't just make a lemonade,
Validation and I need some love too,
Efforts I put need validation,
Don't keep me deprived of love and attention.
2° Acrostic

My HP Poem #1977
©Atul Kaushal
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