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Nyx 1h
It was your name first, it lingered upon my mind
Passing by you fleetingly, you seemed rather kind
Being with you, talking all night
Effortlessly flowing, Everything felt right

You were roaring with destruction
Stirring up chaos in my little heart
Beating quicker with each word
Walls falling gracefully like art

The lingering stares, the smile on your face
The laughter echoed, warming that small place.
You said your name was Chaos, your fighting name at least
But in reality, you were different, different from that beast

A persona for the stage, An Alterego to behave
To reverberate the longing, the inner want to be brave
He was truly a passionate man, I could see the glisten in his eyes
Telling me of his love, his love for his guise.

I could see his gentle nature, the free spirit in him
He's perfect I thought to myself, It didn't feel like a simple whim
I want to see him more, Feel him, know him, talk
I want to know all the intricacies, what makes him walk

Flooding my atmosphere with his presence
Who's the hopeless romantic of the two?
Talking endlessly these days
I'm curious what you will do

My heart is beating furiously, I am filled with terror
Anticipating how you feel, I'm not much of a sharer
I hope you gaze upon me with the same trouble in your heart
Matching my feelings, praying we weren't apart

I want this chaos.

I would trust anyone
with my life,
before I trusted them
with feelings.
Lydia 3d
For over 6 months I couldn’t cry
as someone who has spent countless tears over her lifetime, it made me feel disconnected from myself
even when it made sense, I physically couldn’t
I started to think there was something wrong with me or that I had lost a part of myself that feels so deeply it causes tears
and then, just like that
I started again
I’ve cried two days in a row
and yes, it is a good thing
to be feeling again
Upon a tumultuous street, a notion alights,
It hastens in haste, then averts its gaze,
My heart's echo descends into a crimson abyss,
Upon the ocean floor, it drifts away.

Your name, I called, yet emptiness replied,
A bloom of yours, I drew, withering away.

Life's lines extend before me,
To choose, where your love resides.

This ritual unfolds each day,
I peer within, a melancholy abode,
Where my heart, a vantablack canvas, remains.

:: 12.02.2023 ::
The poem "VANTABLACK" exhibits a profound exploration of emotions and existential themes. As a poet, one would appreciate the nuanced use of language and the depth of introspection conveyed through the verses.

The title, "VANTABLACK," immediately draws attention to the darkest substance known, emphasizing a profound sense of darkness or void that permeates the poem. The tumultuous street and the notion in flight evoke a sense of chaos and uncertainty, setting the stage for the emotional journey that follows.

The poet skillfully employs imagery and metaphor to convey the complex emotions experienced. The notion that "hastens in haste" and then "averts its gaze" suggests a fleeting and elusive quality, mirroring the transient nature of emotions. The descent of the heart's echo into a "crimson abyss" hints at the depth of emotional turmoil, perhaps symbolizing pain or longing.

The lines "Your name, I called, yet emptiness replied" and "A bloom of yours, I drew, withering away" express a sense of loss and unfulfilled connection. The act of calling a name and drawing a bloom implies a desire for presence and beauty, but the responses are characterized by emptiness and withering, adding a layer of melancholy.

The exploration of choices in the lines "Life's lines extend before me, To choose, where your love resides" delves into the existential theme of navigating through life's possibilities and seeking love. The word "resides" suggests a search for a meaningful connection within the vastness of life.

The recurring ritual mentioned in "This ritual unfolds each day" implies a cyclical nature of introspection and perhaps a daily struggle with emotions. The poet peers within, describing it as a "melancholy abode," suggesting that the internal landscape is characterized by sadness.

The concluding lines, "Where my heart, a vantablack canvas, remains," encapsulate the essence of the poem. The heart being a "vantablack canvas" signifies an emotional void, absorbing and reflecting no light, emphasizing the depth of emotional darkness or emptiness.

As a poet, one might commend the poet for the rich tapestry of emotions woven through carefully chosen words and metaphors. The poem invites readers to contemplate the complexities of human emotions, the ephemeral nature of connections, and the existential quest for meaning in the face of emotional voids.
Heidi Franke Nov 28
It started when people stopped bathing
Or showering.

Every day before they went to work or after their 5 mile run.  People just stopped stepping into their tubs
Or showers
To turn the faucet handles that activated
Cold and hot water to fall from the plumbing.

They gradually
Lost interest in hygiene. Personal cleanliness was ghosted.

Everything else mattered to them,  until it didn't.  Getting their kids to school on time mattered, finishing the work project by deadline mattered, visiting relatives in Montana mattered, driving to the store for groceries mattered, until it didn't. Simply ceasing soap and water on flesh.

They just stopped bathing. It's not that they were afraid of water. If near the ocean they would still run and swim in the waves,
Or jump into the pool at the Hilton. No they weren't afraid of water.
It was something else
So slow
And insidious that it was hardly noticed at first.

The domesticated animals picked up on the phenomena first.
They became anxious. They scurried, tried vocalizing. They sensed a lack of intention from their care givers. They sensed a lack of worthiness inside of their humans. The animals began to wonder about their own well being.
What was their future?

Once you start with a variation from normal,  from routine,  from tradition,  the pendulum swings.
The people didn't realize what was happening. Then it slowly dawned on them over time.
They didn't feel needed.
But kept it a secret. The secret necrosed from the inside
Out. They forgot that connecting to one another
Was vital to survival. Their silence could be deadly.
An idea came to mind how in depression one stops caring about certain things. What if everyone did?
The feeling of neutral,
Is bleak and bland.

For I cannot fathom
This life of random.
This feeling of doom,

It is present
Yet seldom.

It is static
And paralytic.

I feel erratic.

Yet I am calm,

But my mind,
Perhaps braindead.

My sanity,
To the thinnest thread.

As this feeling of neutral,
Has emptied my head.
Lorelei Nov 16
I dreamt about you last night
You, the way you were when I met you, when I fell in love with you
The wonder of your soul just pulling me closer
Like the invisible force of a magnet
I could still feel the bitter sweetness of waiting for you
The way the air would get thiner around me when you weren't there
I dreamt you, the way you wanted us to walk always together towards our dreams
Always smuggeling a bit of moonlight in our footsteps
2 dreamers forever in love
Blake Nov 16
I wont care about you today,
As how I cared for you yesterday,
And how I'll care for you tomorrow.

I wont reach for you today,
As how I've held you dear all these years,
And how I will definitely continue to.

I wont seek your attention today,
As how I have longed for your affection,
And how I soon will beg for the absolution of it.

I wont have your promised advancement today,
As how yesterday and the days before,
Was only ever amorous play...

As your ash-heap talking,
I wont have it today,
I cant..

For the world is dark,
But my feelings are never the same shade,
Makes it so much more painful...
Like an angel stuck in hell.

And it saddens me to know,
That our time spent together...
Is longer in my mind,
than in the physical realm.

That our memories,
Last further than our future,
And my love for you..
Outwins and ruins my own temple.
Lydia Nov 14
I turned on the faucet and the water started to pour
and then as if my eyes were in sync
they started to pour too
softly at first until I found myself with a dish towel up to my eyes feeling angry at you
Why did you have to do this?
Where are you?!
Look what you have done to me!!
I felt angry for the first time since you left
I repeated over and over to my kitchen sink as I scrubbed at the dishes
that I missed you
that I needed you to say something
that I needed you to be here
that I know you are listening to me cry about you over a sink full of bubbly dishes
Grief is so weird sometimes
how it changes and flows every day
how it chooses at random to grab onto you
and others it gives you space to breathe
It started with wanting to ask you a silly question
and then remembering one faint second later
that you are not around to ask any kind of questions to anymore
and it hurts
AE Nov 10
First I nurse the realization
That this pain will echo
And in all my attempts to grasp it
And keep it close to my lungs
It weaves itself into my breath
And spills out into the open
Seeping into the damp earth
Whistling between the fog
Sinking among the morning dew
And slowly creeping it’s way close to you
My hands are far too unstable
To offer you some peace
I’d give you my bones and everything
That I thought I could be
I would wrap it in the flowers
That we wished for our garden
But this pain it’s too unpredictable
It leaps away from me
It touches anyone who dares
To give me a moment of their time
and when they tell me they are sorry
We both begin our decline
This grief, she sits at the table
It’s never just you and I
This pain it always echoes
Bouncing between your words
And mine
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