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Do you not see me slyly touching your hands
Our fingers touch, and I do it again and again
My fingertips  delicately touching your face
Brushing against your silver arms
Pulling on your coarse hair

I feel nothing

It’s not like how it used to be
Back when you held my hand
The chills ran, all over my body
An ephemeral paradise
Now I try to feel the same way

But I can’t

Things are so different now
We are so different now
It was better in the past
The less I knew about you
The better it was
The less I knew about you, the better it was
Descovia Jun 3
You seriously fooling yourself believe you only had gold between your legs.

It amazes me how you can fill a room with laughter just by your jokes, regardless of tone or delivery, even if you feel that they're not funny the happiness and the originality behind them makes them unique!

I'm thankful that nobody else is like you other than your baby.  Because, then I myself would have a hard time choosing from which guy or girl I would marry.

A genius even once said "what's the point in being nuts if you can't have fun with it?"

What is the point in living when you don't feel liberty?

And you yourself you have to be more mixed up, than any planters brand trail mix, if you think I am no nuts for you. Ahh-haaa.

You give me more laughs any circus and bring me exhilarating adventures more than any amusement ride!

I'm not worried about where time will bring us or where it will take us even if it keeps us distant.

I will always return home to my Golden heart angel.
New piece. Emotional Thoughts. Love. Inlovewithmorethanyou.
Fayre Jun 1
Honey, I love you - but why do I hurt you.
Honey, I love you - but why do I fool you.
Honey, I love you - but why do I lie to you.
Honey, I love you - but why do I hide from you.

but Honey,
nothing make sense.

how can I even begin to love you,
when I don’t even love myself.
I think I should get back into writing. Today I’m feeling alone in the world and that’s perfectly okay.
Ahmad Attr Jun 1
O' city of lights,
In your heart, lies many hospitals
I visited one of them too,
perhaps the biggest one
I came here with my father
I walked in its glistening bright white corridors  
I swaggered in the intense smell of the medicines
Soaps, and antiseptics,
There was a peculiar feeling of a war
A fight between life and death
Some people lost and some won
We lost

O' city of lights,
I came to visit you many times
But it wasn’t the same
The truth is, I loved you
But your grand billboards,
Towering buildings, neon lights
And artificial rain
Drive me insane

O' city of lights,
I heard that people here are fake
So I decided to move
But I couldn’t stay
You remind me of happy times
The times I am not proud of
In my joy, I never learned his suffering
But you said you will protect him

O' city of lights,
You lie

******* like Plath’s Daddy
You can gulp me
Chew me, eat me
Take me, I’m ready
You took him from me
Now you can take me too
O' city of lights
Why must you be so cruel?
This was my 100th poem. Never thought I'll make it this far.
Gekyla C May 31
From seeing your name
That makes my dream to flame
It gets me excited to aim
The better frame of my life

How many times that I wish
I can hold on to you for a lifetime
To climb in all the obstacles
That hinders myself for a longtime

I will forever cheerish you
Whenever I walk into a new path
Letting you go was never easy
Whatever happens you will always be my dream
Vartika May 27
Dear Santa, when you find this letter
please burn it
my tears flow me too much
by the sound of  
marching band outside,
they create havoc everywhere they go
the noise on the platform
cacophonous, a syndrome.

When you read this letter
my words may shy you often
the pain and the misery
twin sisters of certain injury
don't evade me, don't cease me
and the daylight is no excuse
for them to return
injury after injury.

My vain is too low
the cost is too high
Words written in morrow
brings certain someone some sorrow,
oh reader don't read this
it has plans to turn you fool
don't open this, don't read it
my breath collapsing, increasing
for the wise to leave it at the door.
TTagain May 26
You don't ever have to
Be stronger than you really are
When you're lying in my arms, baby
You don't ever have to
Go faster than your fastest pace
Or faster than my fastest cars

I shouldn't have done it but I read it in your letter
You said to a friend that you wish you were doin' better
I wanted to reach out, but I never said a thing
I shouldn't have done it but I read it in your letter
You said to a friend that you wish you were doin' better
I wanted to call you, but I didn't say a thing

You don't ever have to
Be stronger than you really are
When you're lyin' in my arms, and, honey
You don't ever have to
Act cooler than you think you should
You're brighter than the brightest stars

I'll pick you up
If you come back to America
Just hit me up
'Cause this is crazy love
I'll catch you on the flipside
If you come back to California
You should just hit me up

We'll do whatever you want, travel wherever how far
We'll hit up all the old places
We'll have a party
We'll dance 'til dawn
I'll pick up all of your folks and all of your Rolling Stones
Your favorite liquor off the top-shelf
I'll throw a party
All night long

-------Lana Del Rey
This is one of my favorite songs. Since I'm going through certain emotions and time where I can relate to this song, I thought maybe I can share it with you guys.

The lyrics are bit altered here
Ahmad Attr May 24
Every single word created by your mouth
Pulls at my heart chords
Trilling sounds of which pierces me
You talk about things
I don’t know about
I want to talk about things
You are not interested in
Every single word created
By your throat, cheek, tongue and teeth
Creates a barrier between you and me
I sit in silence and listen you speak
You call people names
You make fun of them
But you never do that to me
Why am I unscathed from your rudeness?
Am I just a part of your sycophancy?
You lead the game
You order
A leader,
Leading me to pain

Your late night parties
I remain uninvited
Unfulfilled promises
When you said you’d take me
Wherever you’d go
‘’if you need anything just let me know’’
and that You’ll never let me go
But I got lost in the limbo
Yesterday and many times before
And you don’t even know
That I’m still thinking about ending the show

And I can’t even touch
Your world
I can’t get enough
Of your fabricated love
Why did I even remain by your side
For all this time
When I don’t even cross your mind
I only feel close to you when I write
It’s like it’s the only time when we talk
The only time when there is no barrier
Between us
This was a raw piece of my emotions written at a very frustrating time
jon May 17
My momma always tried her hardest
Growing up I made decisions that weren’t the smartest
Yet she’s still trying the best she can,
And
Depression hits, I know for her it’s the toughest.
She beats herself up.
Now, that is the roughest.
The past is the past but I don’t control what she does
I know because sometimes she lets things slip out in the mornings when we drink coffee from my favorite cup.
Life isn’t what it was.
Life is what it is.
I often reminisce on the best memories we have and when I think of life now, all I can say is what the ****?

It’s depression;
But it’s also me fighting myself and I hit so hard I end up in the hospital where I find my repression
Of all the emotions I numb out.
I can feel it through my body and that’s a knockout defeat for me.
I feel like life’s doubt.
If life were actually alive, I wonder if it’d survive.
Tina, please help me forget about life.
One inhale is all it takes to feel alright.
Make me forget about everything at least for the night.
I have mental issues but you can help by actually following through.
Hold on, I’m a little emotional I might need a tissue.

It’s bipolar;
People tell me to calm down.
When I’m manic I’m no where to be found.
The thoughts inside my head scream so ******* loud.
Trust me, my mood swings are the worst to be around.
I keep fighting but end up with my *** on the ground.
My insides are tearing themselves apart and it’s a constant war zone between my head and heart.
I don’t know when this all began, all I know is that my emotions control me and that leaves my fuel tank empty.

Theres the manic episodes;
The highs and lows of my constant panic mode,
The hypersensitive, the hypersexual, and my inability to be flexible,
My manic episodes lead me down a twist and turn road,
They take me for a ride and let me cry for weeks in my bed,
They let me talk about what’s going on inside my head,
They won’t lock me up for wishing I was dead,
My manic episodes don’t care they destroy and they constantly bulldoze.

It’s the anxiety;
The constant fear and worry.
The wondering if someone’s going to hate me because I’m in the clear.
The scorpions in my stomach, stinging me.
It’s crippling.
It’s worrying.
I can’t do anything.
Thats codependency but I need it.
I need you mostly and another hit.

It’s the brain injuries;
I can’t remember a **** thing.
I only remember strange little details like peoples clothing and if they’ve worn it for consecutive days.
I haven’t always been this way and I don’t feel okay.
I can’t make phone calls.
I can’t make my bed without getting too inside my head,
I get lost easily and then no one can find me.
I can’t remember the days anymore it’s like my brain is shutting doors and
My eyes are waterfalls all because I can’t make one call.

It’s the grief;
I still can’t believe they’re all dead.
I only have spiritual conversations with them or when I’m hallucinating off drugs.
I miss everyone’s love, especially my dads last hug.
So I do a drug to forget the pain but now I’m getting so high I can’t remember my own name or the day.
I know I have nothing to gain from my actions but I don’t care and I don’t know how to
Without you.

Most of all it’s the trauma;
Others call it drama when they don’t love you, They’re rough and tough.
Well, I’ve had enough of,
Post
Traumatic
Stress
Disorder
They try to bubble wrap you, I’ve done some stupid things so I would too.
I can’t get out on the outside to look inside because my eyes are always dodging contact.
Trauma is a gateway, some days you’re so dysfunctional even your own lawyer stops and asks if you’re okay.
Small little fact; we’ve only talked on the phone, never in person. Just when I was in jail alone where the world denies that I’m male.
If I were to weigh my trauma there’s not a big enough scale and the only one I see nowadays is when I abuse myself and pick up.
When I go there, my thoughts turn back to having coffee with my momma from my favorite cup.
Excerpt of how my mental struggles affect me.
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