Trying to stay up, life is getting hard,
Holding me down, chains round my heart,
These scars are bars put up to guard
Deepest, softest, most vulnerable parts,
Tells me I'm pretty why dont I believe?
I look in the mirror, but I don't see,
Can't find anything beautiful in me,
Just a broken girl, shards of her heart on her sleeve,
Roaming the globe, looking for home,
Scared to get hurt so I walk alone,
On my own, few people really know
The real me behind the smile I show.
Trying to fix damaged spots,
Wanting to get back things I lost,
Repair broken emotions I feel,
Not all wounds are meant to heal.
Why does it feel like my insides are bleeding out?
This hole in my chest I'd rather be without,
Have nothing to fill it with besides doubt,
These pent-up frustrations make me wanna shout,
The truth about me is that I am too proud,
And when I talk I sometimes get loud,
Won't listen, words lost in a cloud
Of blame and pain, I go round and round,
Ask questions, with no answers to be found,
Just screaming silence, I'm sick of the sound,
At night thoughts keep me up, I'm spiraling down,
Writing the anchor tying feet to the ground,
The only reason I decide to stick around.
I wish I could start again,
Do right the second time,
Find a way to heal my pain,
Maybe then I would shine.
I miss who I was before pain transformed me into the bitter cold person I am today. I can be so loving but distant and closed off simultaneously. I am not happy with myself most of the time.