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I trust yet I'm suspicious
I love yet I'm hateful
I laugh loud but I cry
I observe, I'm not blind
I try so hard by confidence
Try harder, esteem breaks
I stand strong with laughter
Locked deep, my ferno rage
I clam up
Guards up
Shields up
Inside, the shards of my bones
Laughter to me is a sword
with two faces
I see the argent lighthearted face,
but my eye is locked on its
shadowed edge
Malicious, cruel, sharp and swift
Sheathed ever so deep into my heart
I can hear the echoes more than feeling the pain
I pick so blindly at an open wound
My mind is a riot, a murked brew
of emotions
Time will heal the wounds,
but it's a scar I'll always remember
Anger screams
Sadness cries
Frustation seethes
A joke, am I?
The sun is dead
Blocked out by echoes
So disoriented
Heart pulses
I cannot think...

Trying to calm a turbulent sea that currently is my mind...
Lyn x
Shaken doth I feel today,
Hollow in His morning sun,
Taken is thy certainty,
His plan proceeds be done,

Forever wonder 'where's thy lover?'
Chambers locked - grief forth-come;

Come back!
Come back!

Thou shalt never,

Come back!
Come back!

Thou gone forever.

Taken is one gracious soul,
It hurts, I'm cold and numb.
Have faith He pleas; Resist your greed,
Their suffering's been undone.
Death of a loved one </3 **
I don’t want to be asked if I’m ok.
I don’t want to be addressed when I’m upset.
Just leave me alone-
And hope to not let the world see how much
Of a freak
I really feel I am.
Sorry if it puts the
Circus out of business.
Oh, how I miss the sweet burdens of love
that used to hold me hostage.
I wish I could feel my racing heart,
my rising shame,
and terrific jealousy.
I long for the way my face would go red,
and miss the time I had a reason to get out of bed.
I wish I could find one person to love
and for them to love me back.
What better way to pour out
the pain of a poet that
to write the stories
with a *** of
It's so good to be back here.
So therapeutic!
Lyn ***
I can attack you with a thousand hugs
And Compliments.
I can also attack you
With coldness
Explosive anger
And tears of anguish.
Which one will you be?
Why am I here?
Oh *** I shouldn't be here
Oh *** I should disappear
Oh *** why did I reapper
Oh *** don't let me get close
Oh **** I won't get near
Oh *** this is weird
Oh *** let me leave
Oh *** this place isn't for me.
Oh **** no one is talking to me.
It's because I'm crazy
And that they don't like me.
What is going on with me?
*** is not used in a religious way. I am not religious.

I cannot pretend to be something
I already am...

There's enough hatred in the world...
Lyn ***
Olive 1d
Sometimes Darkness whispers to me.
It tells me it is a place of comfort,
A place of escape.
No one can find you here, it insists,
You are alone, finally,
Just what you wanted,
Screamed for,
Cried for,
Alone, with me, it looks up
With a smirk
Don’t be scared,
I don’t judge,
Stay for as long as you wish.
When I leave, it whispers to me,
Come back, I miss you,
Escape the chaos,
Be with us...

Sometimes Darkness yells at me.
It questions who I am,
Why I am here,
I don’t belong...
I’m too intense...
I’m not good enough...
What I want is impossible...
It tells at me, until I yell back.

Sometimes Darkness stares at me,
When my eyes are shut,
I see it’s gaze,
It’s lure,
It’s disapproval and longing for my return.
It stares... and glares... until I open my eyes,
And find the light again.
Those dark thoughts are visiting...
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