In disguise, a hopeless wonder Apprehensive and paranoid I leap towards the open my feet sticking to the field grass My memories build worlds and voids, steps and ladders shy away from my path Something tells me to climb upward latch onto these fears I house within my shoes, maybe take off the glasses I wear as an excuse, to ignore your outstretched hand But in disguise, a hopeless wonder A small shallow breath Accepting defeat against my stubbornness This fear is nothing but distance I strive to keep Because if I give you all of these words and instead of grasping them tightly they slip between your fingers fallen, forgotten, meaningless. then what?
I know my worth, I have stood in the way Of vitriol and shame, Shrugged away pride And ego and burned off So many imperfections To leave a man still flawed But peaceful and true, A man who loves and seeks That selfsame love in return, A man who will die he hopes Of old age in the arms of his woman After a life of love and joy, But If she does not see his love for what it is, If she sees need as neediness, Then death still will find me, Still see my value and my worth, But find me waiting nonetheless
I love you, As such I desire you In every respect, Wish to be included in your life Include you indeed in mine, Honour you and make a life of us, Do not mistake True honest love and desire For neediness, Nor weakness or even lack Of self esteem, These may be in the lexicon Of others in your past But if that be your true Perception of me then you stand To lose both your perceived View and also alas The truth.
This flowed quickly and in one hit. Funnybwhat a provocative misunderstanding can do....
Do not ever forsake us dear Lord even though it does appear at times that we all do forsake Thee but please, be with us always, to guide, protect and heal, wherever we are for we all have a need to be. ___
Originally written and recited in the first person many years ago and still even these days due to it being etched in my mind. I've posted it here for anyone who might find comfort and solace with in these troubled times.
Between want and need is compulsion between you and me there was an explosion of wanton greed and corrosion because you wanted me to be frozen to keep sculpting until I was broken but once the ice cracked and opened I was awoken no longer a token you wanted me but now you don't so you take me to your dojo to tell me it's a no-go while I scream 'oh no' and drink a shot of soco to ponder what I don't know which is whether you're a want or a need all I know is I never wanted to bleed.