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I knew it would not last forever
But the future was unseen
Watched it slip out of our grasp
Before we could intervene

Season after season is passing
Golden transforms to white
Misty mornings exchanged for snow
While I wait to feel alright

Rose up through the ashes
But my heart's still burned and charred
And fear has formed an armor around
Every place it has been scarred

I search for symbols on my body
Yearn for meaning to be revealed
To understand length of our relationship
Yet answers all remain concealed

Shoulder the weight of rejection
Through time though tough to carry
Heaviness a consistent warning
That of intimacy to be wary

Like a little alarm silently blaring
Begging me to stay alone
Prioritizing safety over company
Love is hell unlike anything I've ever known

Portal straight to madness
No one is exempt
So if you want your sanity intact
Don't bother making an attempt

Desire turns willpower to vapor
As you steadily lose control
Until you cannot function in their absence
Need their affection to even feel whole

But when the flashes of electricity
Vanish from your partner's skin
But for you are stronger than ever
That's when the real torture begins

Color disappears from sight
The whole planet fading to grey
Happiness drained from all you touch
As you desperately clutch onto yesterday

Now waking up is a daunting task
Try to avoid facing reality
Solitude stings like a salted wound
Haunted by what we will never be

Then I stumble across your photo
For a moment don't feel so sad
As nostalgia rushes over me
I escape briefly into the love we once had

I close my eyes and block out the hurt
Memory tasting bittersweet
And when I finally open them
Feels like I'm falling to my feet

Desolation has become my home
Misery my only friend
I've learned the hard way caring is pain
So I swear I'll never care again
I used to care too much, and it destroyed me. So now I don't care for much at all. I work in extremes like that..
Moonboy Sep 3
Life is a game to some
and other it is not

But I think of it as a gamble

If you buy something you
think you need

That's gambling cause
you invest in an object that
could work or not

Like my choices in my life
and in anyone else's

I am trying to repair those broken
relationships I affected cause of
my gamble with life
This goes out to many but mainly Kym I love you very much
and thanks for being in my life(not to be worried or anything)
You sleep in a golden box, it seems,
On India patterns of rose and tangerine.
The brightening sky sends amber light
Through ecru lace and lowered blinds.
I imagine your lithe limbs stretched out
Beneath the coarse blanket you love.
Your rustic side has always shied
Away from luxury and ease.
Sometimes you even refuse to eat,
So I tempt you with a favorite repast
Things meant to break unwarranted fast.
And often, I ask you to show me
Your lean limbs and boyish length.
As you poise upon the scale
That balances youth and strength.
But at night you leave our tryst
And drive a phaeton of amethyst
To a place no longer gold,
Where you make diamonds out of coal.
Where they drain you 'til day is dawning
And batter down your soul.
Yet it seems you revive each morning
In your pretty box of gold.

July, 2021
Cece Jul 28
Stripping the sheets that took away a soul
Life goes on we just replace it with a new one

Monthly by monthly days go by
Its not always sunshine and rainbows oh my
The fragile soul that was left here to rest
Will forever be ingraved here in my head.

Goodbye forever and may you rest in peace
I will remeber you all piece by piece
U: NDRESSED
G: EVIOUS
L: UNLOVED
Y: YOU'RE forgetting one more thing...and that's because you're
P: ERFECTLY IMPERFECT
E: VERYTHING YOU ALWAYS NEEDED
R: EASSURED
F: LAWLESS
E: XTRAEXTRODINARY
C: HALANT
T: REASURED & TALENTED
(Read Note)
SELF LOVE: When you feel ugly, remember you're perfect in your own way.
Write down UGLY AND PERFECT and come up with things that you are feeling and what you really are instead of what your negative thoughts appear to say.
Sarah Flynn May 7
you lost someone real.
you lost a genuine, good friend
who would've done anything
to make you happy.

I only lost someone
who never gave a ****
about me or my happiness.

think about this
and then tell me again
who was truly hurt by
the end of our friendship.

we both may have hurt,
but you're the only one
who lost something here.

I won.
Carpe diem
I rhyme
Seize the day
Make most
Of your time
Carpe diem
I rhyme
Make hay
While Sun shines
Every moment
Everyday
Spend it in a useful way
Carpe diem
I rhyme
Everyday is an opportunity
For some kind of activity
Making most
Of your time
Carpe diem
I rhyme
Indulge in activities
Conducive to life
Reading and writing
Intellectual activities
Of some kind
Enjoy your hobbies
Do some social service
Last but not the least
Caring and loving
Spend your time
Carpe diem
I rhyme
Be happy all the time!
Live in the present, remain busy in some good activity and be happy.
For years, I was always there,
Under any conditions, always supportive,
Caring, always sharing,
Keeping you safe, in times of fear,
Your only true friend,
Opening my home, if you needed to rest,
Understanding your problems,
Believing your stories,
Interested, in your ideas & plans,
Teaching you how to carry on,
Celebrating the good times,
Holding you in my arms, when you needed a hug.


                                                                       Tom Maxwell ©
                                                                                                9/27/2019 AD
                                                                                                   12/35/19 am
TomDoubty Apr 18
On a crystal cold December night
Moonbright with ice in the air
The doctor’s car pulled up outside
Bringing modern medical care

Ascending hard stairs in the bright lit lobby
He quickly finds your door
Which waiting behind in your jim-jams you open
Bring a smile, and cold air through your door

“We better go to the bedroom” you say
“The rest of the place is a mess”
“It’s the pains that wake me in the morning doc
I just cannot get any rest”

“You better lie on the bed “ he says
“Rest your head on the pillow, just here”
Now what about your waterworks?
Does it hurt when I press there?”

He sends you to the lav for a sample, which
Taking its time to arrive
Gives him a moment to sit and observe the signs
Of a life and its gradual demise

Suitcases, concave on top of the cupboard
Thick-filmed with dust the fan
Its face to the wall it won’t turn anymore
And the tinkling goes on in the pan

And to the sound of your ****, the doctor sits
And wonders about your life
Was there a girl or a child or a man or a wife?
Did you devote yourself to Christ?

Did you spend your night on the common in secret
In lustful and shame filled embrace
Did you fight your way to the top of the ladder and suffer
Indignity, a fall from grace

Did you holiday in Lanzarote?
Digging holes in the sand with your son?
Did you set off sprightly for runs every morning?
Or build tiny models for fun?

Did you see this life coming? Did you see the dust settling?
When you stowed your cases away?
And packed up the shirts and the ties and the shoes
Closed your door at the end of the day

“Is that enough doc?” You pass me your sample
Rose “That will do”with a frown
“How is it here?” he asks and fixes your eye
You look away, and then look down

“Well, there’s Jim at the end of the corridor
And the lady in the flat below
But somedays I just don’t bump into them
They all have somewhere to go

“And…”your mind drifts elsewhere for a moment
I wonder what you see there
Then you turn to me and back in the room again ask
“What’s the verdict doc? What d’you see there?”

You show me to the door, i’m still cold to the bone
I descend the stone steps to my car
Pull away into darkness and moonlight and ice
But my thoughts don’t travel so far

From you, the encounter the stink of your life
The ****** **** and the dust and decay
I pull up outside the place I call home
And close my door at the end of the day
caring dying dust life ballad
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