Jobira 5h

You left me long ago
and you're not coming back
But I'm still waiting for you
Sitting in the bleak dark

How can I move forward
And start a new life?
When you're the only one
in my mind
Who's holding a hostage
My future joy with grief

You made sure before you left
I always see your face
In my highest or lowest states
No one takes your place

You carved your name with knife
Deep into my bone
I'm unable to erase your memories
Tattooed in my bloodstream and skin
No matter what I do
no matter what I would say
You're flowing in my bloodstreams
I can't simply wash you away


Inspired by Seema's "Burying Memories"

I missed you
I fell victim
To my boyfriend's


It was so disgusting because I did not want him. Everytime he touched me or when I was in his arms I felt wrong. I felt wrong because I knew who I NEEDED was you and not him. He never knew me like you, he just had me for his own sake.
Ammar 11h

the windows broken
the attic burnt
doors eaten away by termites
dust and filth
tiles cracked
roof falling apart and
walls breaking away

home was never a place
except for in your arms
home was never a house

home was wherever you lived
it was holding hands
under the deep blue sky
it was your tears
sliding down my shoulders

but baby,

that's how home looks like
in a few years
maybe months
completely fucked
worn and torn
waiting still for you
but broken and destroyed

tell me baby then,

will you re-paint the attic
replace the doors
wash away the dust
repair the walls

or will you abandon it (again)

Seema 13h

The letters that I wrote in your memory.
I buried them all in the sea...

The hearts that I cut out from various flowers.
I laid them on your grave...

The perfume that you gifted me before you left.
I sprinkled it on the laid petals over your grave...

Sorry for visiting you so late.
I, myself was not in a good state.
You see, the first memory I wanted to remove was your tattooed name from my wrist.
So in the process of erasing your name, my wrist got slitted.
And thus, I was hospitalized with other diagnosed problems that I beated.

The bed in which you took your last breath.
They laid me there.
I felt you with me in the times of such despair.

Your sudden illness has affected me as well.
Maybe meeting you soon, that I can tell.

Here, sitting peacefully by your grave today.
Tearing up on every memory that took you away.

The breeze blew the perfumed petals over my face.
Landing few on my hair as if tucked in with a grace.

Kissing me a goodbye through this chilly breeze.
Swaying away timidly, I see your spirit through the trees...


The sweet breeze
Of the South Chinese

Sweet, furry pads
That land upon it's shore

Blue and white on the water
A fisherman's tale

Ebb and flow

Volcanic rock that meets you
Though your stay is but days

Curious locals
So close, and so far away

A town on the water
Small children at play

A soft smile to last a lifetime.

Just missing a beautiful place.

Everything is empty.

The room in my mansion of a mind where I used to keep you, and everything you were to me is empty. It's a cold dark void that echoes the memories whenever I open the door. The smell; no, stench; no, fragrance of you is burned into the floor. Maybe if I lay on my stomach and scratch at the wood I can smell it again.

The walls are a light brown, the color of your eyes. When I open the curtains and the light shines in, the walls magically turn green, and blue, and yellow and all sorts of browns. But wait, no there is no more curtains blocking out the sun. I shouldn't think of these things. I'm conjuring up the dusty curtains that are rotting in the basement. They are replaced by the wood panels that I nailed into wall, so angery that my fist bled. Because I was not using a hammer, no you took that when you left. I had to compromise and use the hands that you held onto, oh, god no, more happy stupid memories.

I remember you were not holding onto my hands you were letting me tangle mine in yours so that i couldnt get out. All you had to do was slip your hand away to leave. But in order for you to do that, you would have to bend and break my fingers, loosening the vise they made. And thats exactly what you did that night when you were not thinking of me.

When you were thinking of her. When you were building a room in her mansion that was much brighter, bigger, and shinier than mine.  Those nights when we laid in your room, you were slowly packing your things and I didn't notice until the furniture disappeared. I begged you to stay. I begged you to not think of her the way you thought of me. You told me you never in a million years would. You told me you loved me. But you said that to her as well.    

I suppose the room is not empty at all. Physically, it shows me nothing but the remains of our relationship, cold and bordered up; gone. But the memories echo and bounce around the walls and seep from the floors.  The room is empty but the memories fill it up.

I will never forget
When I talked too you all summer long
And we watched the sunset as we gaze upon the stars

I will never forget
That tears that flowed down your cheeks
And as you wave your hand with all your strength

I will never forget
From the bottom of your heart I know you said "thank you"
And you smiled at me, I suddenly felt lonely

I will never forget
The best memories we shared… the best
When you were still here.

I will never forget
But I think you already forgotten
What I remembered so well.

I will never give up
The best memories…the last.
When it was still the best.

Best memories, but memories...

Blonde hair, shoulder length
A morning in June, one of thirty
I run my fingers through the tall grass
Picking memories like strawberries

Here I am knowing that this is all wrong
That there is just not a chance to get along
but I sit here with you in mind
No one around, no one to find
Wondering if things could rewind
To the time where love got left behind
But what would we have done different
That didn't have us so spent
Living off toxic fumes from the past
It's no wonder we couldn't last
Let's dye our hair and lie saying we don't care
That life sucks and isn't fair
But you're stuck on the objective to compare
If you want your hands through his or my hair
Swimming in the shallow of demise
I simply know it's not wise
But it's different when you realize
That your tainted feelings are real
I'll use this drink to soothe how I feel
I know it's the last time I'll kneel
To help someone that saw me as a meal

I wish I had some melancholy memory
Of a romance, long since passed
When a sad song comes on
Talking about the way things used to be
My brain goes blank

The memory of being madly in love
Should evoke something sweet like soda
Every particle, touched and tickled
Just cold enough
A bite, on the lip
Enticing the next sip
Feels like drugs, all the way down
Pulling away, pursed and sticky, you know youll remember
The way that pop popped you way back when
And a thirst for it started
Everything goes better with a cola
A cigarette, sickening and deep, made fresh by that sugar
Whisky, rusty and virile, turned young and naive with that fizz
A good meal, made decadent, with a lick and twist of bubbles

It should, but it doesnt
All I seem to recall
Is feeling as each and every bud on my tongue
Where the seed of your taste was firmly planted
Is scorched
So the only taste is ash

I remember distinctly the three times I was severely burned
One, I was making cup noodles
Two, I was making food for your trifflin ass
Three, when you made me tell myself that you dont love me anymore

So when a sad love song comes on
Instead of that sparky, stingy, sugary stuff
I get that fructose, sucrose, glucose, rhymes with gross, kinda shit
I learned all too late, that shit like that, is the single worst thing you can put in your body

So whenever I crave to recall
The taste of bittersweet memories
Whispered to me through the turn of a cap
I just think to myself
Soda is piss, water is bliss

I write about the feels because I dont yet know how to convey my complete disgust with the social atrocities that have plagued this country over the past year or so
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