Stormy 19h

Friend, do not envy the perfect
Because in order to achieve perfection
You must first live feeling that you need to be perfect
Just to be good enough
Which has never been worth it

When I can't accept a compliment, not because I don't believe it, but because getting to where I am wasn't worth the accompanying self-loathing.

You've made your home inside my brain
You've reached places my soul can't attain
You've been driving me wild, completely insane
Slithering through me, my dignity wane

Piercing through my unconquerable wall
Extinguishing my unquenchable flames
I feel you all the time, and in love I fall
I fall and I feel the inexorable tames

It's like pleasure and pain have finally collided
You're engraved in my soul, my fate's decided
A paradox shifting from affection to one-sided
From lifting me up to watching me subsided

I've grown accustomed to your presence
I've grown to believe you're sanctuary
I don't know how to love without your essence
Your cancer has become habituary

But it's eating me all black, malignance, malice
I'm lost and drowning in your wonderland, alice
Into the abyss of your own twisted mind's palace
Hoping I could numb the flowing feelings, callous

Hoping I could kiss your lethal affliction
Cause I adore it, even in pain
Baby, we're all masochists, pure addiction
To the drugs you've infused in my brain

You're terribly fatal, and terribly sweet
The only one capable of getting me down on my feet
The only one capable of making me confess my defeat
Your playlist, your words, your name on repeat

I abhor your guts for making me feel so weak
I adore your guts for being so damn perfect
I'm burning, on fire, from the gas you leak
Another thing to add on the list of defects

You've incarnated cancer and validated the rumor
You're deadly and disastrous, I wish I'd  known it sooner
Maybe I knew, but didn't want to ruin the humor
That you're my end; My booze, my pills, my cigs, my tumor

~V.J

Dedicated to S', a dear friend of mine.

I want to make a difference
Change the system
Open up new doors an see flaws
And receive assistance
To open up your eyes and realise everyone's different
Held down by persistence
Searching for a myth of perfection that isn't in existence

ronnie 3d

I swear to god he was perfect.

I saw him across the room
coffee stains on his white button up shirt
his curly hair messy, falling over his face the tiniest bit
his overly sized glasses sort of crooked on his face
there he was
he didn't know how silly he looked
but it was the best kind of silly
the silly I wanted to see everyday
He looked like an angel


He was perfect.

I see your chest,
Rise and fall,
I kiss your neck,
Boy, You've really got it all.

You whisper in my ear,
But what you said it wasn't clear.
All I know is,
I could spend the rest of my years... here.
And you know,
I'd do anything for you, my dear.

You smile at me and say,
"Will the make me the luckiest man Today?
And I will Spend my lifetime trying to make you feel the same,
because you're so perfect
You don't need to change.
I will Love you.
Forever and always."

Smooth, silky hair tied in a high ponytail
Clear lip gloss
Fingernails painted pale pink
The perfect girl next door
Pastel cardigans and sweaters were her thing

Waking up with red, swollen, puffy eyes
Staring at her reflection in the mirror for hours
And reappearing fresh cuts on her wrist
Yet no one knew the blackness growing darker in her

What's done is done
No way to go back in time
A little attention would've been sufficient to stop it
But to be fair
She got it in the end
As her body laid on the ground
With blood gushing out of her hand

As the tree sheds leaves in the fall
So as a man’s sentiments for a maiden
Leaving him behind, he will crawl
Onto a happy life with no burden

He wiped the valley of tears, stood strong
And born a new journey, he will face
Every action could go wrong
Every tough obstacle, he shall ace

However strong, still ended
The obstacle of the new journey
Step by step, he transcended
Until he reached the final test

Twenty-nine days before the day
The day she was born, he will admit
On how her smile was his sun’s ray
And her eyes were his guiding light

Guiding light from the blinded darkness
He shall escape through her radiance
By her grandiose smile, he was victorious
Of fleeing from the bitter past


Her existence is divine
Though imperfect, still found a way
To save a stranger from his dying soul
And his outer surroundings, toxic

She helped him move on
Like Hermes sending a message
Quick, clean and precise
And seemingly like the speed of light

He prepares for the big gamble
As an arrow pulls itself back
He makes himself stern
For his aim, the luminous one

Our first kiss was in my basement, one year,
and three hundred and forty-seven days ago,

his lips tasted like the saccharine double chocolate chunk ice cream
that he licked off my spoon just minutes ago, beard
brushing against the soft bottom of my chin,
                                                           ­                   his hand slipped
into mine as we walked away from yet another birthday celebrated,
it’s been seven since we first became friends

and his hands have finally stopped trembling.

Her eyes convey concern as her head slowly rises up from mine.

“This is a bad idea.”
In her face, against the lightly accented string lights

I see his eyes, tears welling up,

I know I can’t do this, I can’t kiss her, I can’t lose her

I can’t betray him.

I know this is wrong but

I love her and as she leans back down our lips crash together,
hers are plain, soft, safe,


When he cries, he sniffles more than he sobs, when I see him sad, powerless,
my heart cracks, I made a promise in my basement to never be the cause of this suffering,

my right hand runs through her soft hair, twirled between my two fingers
left hand resting on her cheek, I can feel that under her eyelid she is helpless,
I feel powerless, captivated by the twinkle in her eyes when she laughs,


I feel as though I am held hostage in her arms, yet a wave of freedom washes over me,

I don't know how I feel all I know is I don't yet want this to end,

we both want this,

yet I tell him it is my fault, I hold him close to my chest, my fingers run through
his wildly curly hair,
                     she pulls me closer as we continue to fight rationality,
and in this moment, we are breathing in synchrony, I taste nothing saccharine,
only feeling her soft lips and a bittersweet moment.

11.6.17
Mila Berlioz Nov 7

11:44 pm
You cry, thinking you’re ‘useless’. Oh baby, if you could only see the potential you have.
No one has ever made me feel this way before  it’s been three hours and sixteen minutes since you left my house.  And every second it gets harder not to be by your side. I have never loved someone this much.  Never thought I’d make it so far, so committed in a relationship. But here I am… not being able to get you out of my mind.
I loved cuddling with you, spooning.  You look so unbelievable beautiful sleeping.
I still can’t believe what’s happening.  It’s just too good to be true.
Having the love of my life (you), telling me that every time he looks at me he can’t help himself but to think I’m the most gorgeous person in this world.
I could kiss you day and night, 24/7. I could hug you all day long. I love you so much. Trust me you’ve got so much potential. I just, I love you.
Never let me go, never leave.  I love you too much to not have you by my side.
-11:53pm

To me you're perfect
Mims Nov 6

It's raining,
It's cold,
I'm sitting in my car,
Drinking peppermint coffee,
And listening to Bruno Mars,

Life doesn't get much more perfect then this.

She's so beautiful, and I tell her everyday.
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