Open if i never wake from the deepest dreams of more,
Open if I give up, succomb to a roaring seashore,
Open if my eyes give way to darkness, where is the light.
Open if my arms fling down, i have given up the fight.
Open if time passes without a murmur, a wanting or a tune,
Open if I run, I hide, seek solace in the flashing moon.
Open if you no longer feel a yearning for a place in the world.
Open if there are no sounds or encouragement to be heard.
Open if it's hard to swallow, the pain, striking right at the chord.
Open if when the rain stops beating, you still can't find the words.
Open if your mind stops wondering, where and when and how?
Open if the door stays locked through bangs and knocks and rows.
Open if I begin to forget all of my manners, my ways.
Open if we're no longer placing photos in frames, of the better days.
Open if all friends have walked by and you find yourself alone.
Open if worry takes centre stage, know that I'll eventually come home.
How hungry you were
Sinking your hooks in deep,
cracking open my chest,
looking for more. But
I've felt this before.
How hungry you were, those
sharp fingers tearing at my skin
and leaving me sore,
Cracking ribs open like toothpicks
after a meal.
How hungry you were.
Craving my healthy heart and
blood. Lapping it all up
like some depraved thirsty dog.
How hungry you were
to satiate your pain,
to toss yours away
and replace it with mine.
Oh how hungry you were,
when you found me empty.
Empty like the nail polish you throw away because it's 'empty' but it's not actually empty because there is still some product left in it but it's not useable because it's so dried out and close to the bottom that no one wants to try to use it so they throw it out.
So empty like how I have no energy to show any kind of emotion anymore but if you dig really deep you'll find some dried up old feelings but it's too deep in there that no one wants to try with me anymore so they just throw me out
I went back
But, my mind wandered
Off to seek a haven
Where this pieces would fit
Those were the only days
Where I was a statue
And not a godforsaken flesh
In a straitjacket
Are the place where you go
As a storm coming in
Heading your way
Wreaking you over,
Bashing your reality,
Being an acid in your little lemon life,
They are the white limbo
You heart wants to go
Are not they?
I am at the place
Where I gauge the years to empty
Where it is dark
Where it is white
Where no roses grow
Where no crows caw
Where my heart vacant,
(Turning the page)
(I turn the page)
What is home?
Turn weekends into weekdays then build up the reflection
You could’ve loved a dying plan
But you chose what’s worse
Or at least you could’ve pretended
Set it back on the dialogue of my broken mind
So we won’t worry about it
I met suicide twice today and we noted down an appreciable function
The photographs been meaning so less
You’re still hiding there staring at me
But I won’t ruin your safe house
Because in the land of stars and suns
I was a shooting star
Living under the suffocation of white colors
Screwing it up
Sick thoughts leading me
What we dreamed of before now feels like a horror movie
Now all I can notice are just noses standing at my closed gate
Trying to convince me to fade
But I can’t fade until I fade you
I wanted to be sure that you won’t cheat me no more
But I played it well to convince you
Then the reflection we wanted to study turned out to be an understandable concept by me
Only I only
Wanted to greet you so I shoved it all up your ear
Smirked back while you were laughing
New palm trees for tonight only
Your badness made me do what I did I had this big urge to dive into your mind For the chaotic peace you screamed for so well
Our resurrection gave me no time
Pulling me from the inside of my deep within
My grenades are fading
We both asked for that
We both fell into that
Let’s feed it
Listen to me you’re going to spark
I’ll teach you how to get away with it
Deep underground dark desires
You bathe mine with your wetness
Coating me slick
Nobody would believe my day
My addiction my temptress
Putting up a good front for mine for the forces
Alone bringing up some new meaning to desire
Strip your saviors at my door
Happy faces, upon them we frown
Jumping into a pool of peace
Biting my sorrow as I warm up her ears
Her hand behind her back pulling her closer
She’s submitting willingly
Filthy mouth dripping with sin
She had defeated me successfully
When it drips I collapse, she prostrates
When it’s all running fast she’s just waiting
Heat spreading from my head to her toe
Turning us to ashes
She longs for me to do more
She shuts her eyes and imagines
And her mind never minds
Conquering mine easily, Shakespeare lines
Covering it all up in a single valley
But the worst is the best
Stopping the nonstop can suck
And I can’t stop
Just below her river
I found my lost miles from my hometown
Full of dense sunlight
Sharpness of millions of artists
I’ve seen it all inside her brain
Drying inside this highland air
But time is a devastating drug, then we laugh at nothing
And as I touch your skin even the ground rocks become alive
Piece by piece
She’s turning to me
Washing her with my eyes
Uncovered inviting me in
Empires of the lonely nights burning up fresh
When she ignites the morning in my arms
Around the mystery of mutual fire
Heavenly blaze Raptures of the sunlight
Hysterics of delight
We lay confused and vanished
Flaming kisses falling into boundless blisses
Down at once we sunk back into heaven..
nothing but a rental
mu body, I'm left empty-handed
windows shattered, broken doors
violent breeze pushes forth
I am abandoned
my lips swollen
all the way down to my throath
not allowed to sing another note
stretch across my delicate skin
stars bursting, they're screaming in pain
creating infinite life, where shadows remain
In a empty bath tub,
I washed you forever away...
The plug hanging silent,
As tears collapsed downward...
A hollow basin awash with regrets,
cradled within a vacant space.
I dropped my jagged reflection,
not letting it cut into me..
The only thing scaring this emptiness
are my tears, as I walk out stronger...
I smile, and do what I'm told.
I'll be what you want me to be.
Can you see the emptiness behind my sparkling eyes?
The sparkles aren't real, they are from tears.
I don't have a choice but to keep surviving.
This mind of mine is deeper than most dare to swim.
People tried to swim with me but they end up drowning under the crashing waves.
They blame me....
If only they could see I didn't cause these tsunamis with in my soul.
You swam against the tide for a short while with me and gave up.
I've been swimming against those crashing waves most my life.
You panic and shove me down under the water to save yourselves.
Maybe if you can't see me then you won't have to deal with trying to save me.
I hold onto whatever debris I find floating in the ocean. I'm a fighter. I'll keep swimming.
I'll keep grasping for air.
Just because you close your eyes and pretend not to see me drowning doesn't mean I'm not dying right in front of you.
I can't make the waves stop but I can learn to surf them and appreciate the beauty of the journey.
For I will get to shore one day.
I will stand firm on my own 2 feet one day.
Watch me... with or without you.
I will rise above this.