Flowing down the river
Blackness all around
Is it night?
Or am I just blind
Blind to the love
The passion of those around me
Or am I seeing the truth
The bleak truth
The truth that love is gone
That all in which remains
Is a burning hate
Holding tight to where my heart once sat
Feeling the burn of pain
Bleeding through the hole
In which was made
Ripping and clawing
I see the truth
No love is here
Only destruction in my wake
When will this end?
When will the light come back
The bright warmth of compassion
The tender embrace of love
I curse the fear that pulls me back in when something of a dream blurs into real life. Scared of daring to believe this could be my reality. Outlook blurred by comfortable distrust. Disbelieve, you can't want me? Too good to be true. My heart mirrored in your heart this reflection must be false. A drawn out ache pulls down on my heart. Heavy premature disappointment. Inevitable rejection. I can't compare and I won't, can't be saved by you. No more than the awakening you offered me. Resting back into restless routine. Eyes wide shut during the day time. Only living at night in my dreams.
I feel a presence inside of me
The presence is not a part of me
I carry an ache in my chest
The ache demands that I surrender and rest
There is a darkness in my eyes
It was fed by your deceit and your lies
I found my memories that I'd lost
That night, you paid your cost
Don't look for my heart, its eaten by the beast
It lives in me, where I can hurt it least
The shade of your skin
I look for...in everyone
The shape of your eyes
I dare not...but then I do
'She used to walk like that..'
I find myself saying
'Talk like that...'
'Laugh like that...'
All of the above
Water rushes over the memories
Imprinted in sand
But yours never go away
They live and grow in moonlight
Forever plus one day
My fortress has a thousand rooms
One for you
It's a given
120 years old
If I'm cursed to live that long
The last thought
The last words
Will be of you...
You know, I'm never sadder than those moments I realize how much I miss you.
And at first those moments came frequently and without delay but the pain they brought was simple. Dull; an ache.
But how as time crept slowly, the moments so frequent would come intermittently when I was most vulnerable.
But that dull ache was replaced with a deeper longing and a pain I couldn't shake. And it would stay with me for days and haunt my fevered sleep with memories I just wished would go away.
But I fear if they were to stop, I would lose all sense of self.
I already write so sparingly.
So please, just spare me the impertinence of soliloquy, that indecent exposé.
My eyes are weary
My mind is wide
And open to you
Would you take my head within your hands?
And set me back?
Pulling the pain from behind my eyes?
Would you be the pressure
My temples need most desperately
For a moment's peace?
Because no one else has struck a chord
As caring as me
Take your heart into the place
where you can set it down to heal,
you can put a smile on your face
but it's not happiness you feel.
Joy can be like a treat that you don't get too much
that people say you have to work to find-
unless you can find happiness in just a touch
and find the peace within your mind.
You must have heard these words before,
because most of them are true
and hearing the same thing could be a bore,
but I will try to be here for
The only place we could be alone was by the brook.
Beside an oak tree
You and I lay, enveloped.
It makes me feel odd that
We were once shy.
There was a flute playing a blissful melody in the distance, lulling us to sleep.
It was a Celtic fantasy. Blushed cheeks, entrancing mandolins, serene violins.
You whispered delicately in my ear:
'Forget everything. Enjoy now.'
But how can I forget and enjoy now, when I am alone, my tears rusting my guitar strings.
That girl you once layed with by the brook is shattering...
Farewell to light and all things bright.