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You're an island
that housed beauty many shipments ago
For a drowning soul,
can only be saved by a rush of gold

Treasures of gold, lie hidden bestowed,
Beneath the crater of an old souls bowl

If my heart be the earth,
I'd look for peace
If my death sparked life,
I'd look to leave
And if life had meaning,
What could this be?

If my heart was round, I'd assume the earth fits this mold
Many moons ago it could dare lay low

Darkness fears the light
Like a kid in twilight 
Pondering on quiet times
Spent churning the street fights
If you search and search, eventually you'll get the answer
Like mist, sparse,

becoming water,
and then a river,
and going forever

(and strong and fast and turbulent
growing life and joy and colors)

Our purpose is,
and was never.
Very concise poem on existential nihilism

2024-04-04
EA
033124

I told you I would no longer write for you —
That I won’t hide it in series of poetry anymore.
I was old enough
And I know it’s no longer trendy
I write you letters but I don’t send it anyways.

I wanna tell you how much I cared
To let you go as God says so
At first, I was so scared losing you
As if you were “mine”
Though I never had this “thing” with you.

Honestly, I was left with no choice at all —
I thought you’ll wait for me
Just like what you’ve promised.
But maybe words were just empty words.

Hey, I’m sorry that you got tired of me
I was crazy to let you go without even confessing.
You’re too early and I was too late
But it’s kinda unfair
Coz I believed everything you said.

I know I hurt you too
Many times, you told me you’re no longer at peace.
I hated myself for hurting you
But I have to let myself heal and bloom once again.

The connection I had with you was different
I thought I’m already “home” when I’m with you.
But I never had the chance to cherish everything…
It was the last time, but I haven’t said anything.

The pain within me was more than my emotions,
You’re not just a piece of me
But being with you for a short span
Was like staying where I want to be.

I had so many questions in my head —
But the answer I get was you moved on already.
Seeing you around makes me forgive you
And leads me to forgive myself too.

I ain’t perfect —
But this connection has lapsed
And I have to leave this page.
033124

The Joy within me is a flowing river
And I can’t deny the Source.

If I die young —
I’m sure He’ll remember me…
And every anthem of my soul
Shall weave the letters to portray His love.

I consider myself a dust —
One day, I’ll leave this shell
One day, I’m no longer a vessel
But a dust without His breath.

He holds the future I have never imagined,
My plans will always fail without Him
And I know that.
But my faith, it’s unending —
By grace, I shall live…

For today, I’m a vessel of His love,
Tomorrow, I’ll die too
I’ll die and be forgotten
But I hope they remember —
That Jesus lived within me
And that what matters the most
Then my purpose was done.
030724

Per pause, You speak purpose…
Per cause, so much it’ll cost.
David Hilburn Jan 26
Pontificate
Set to sojourns music...?
And thrown the light of reason, to sate
Weal is a known seeker, of life intrinsic...

Westerly, the face of men
Has a column of seclusion, adding the facts
Of pride before litany's passage, a wisdom's question
Come to pass, with a realer first of lest, we act:

In favor of solemn derision?
The found privilege, has a callous fate
Where we are, the paces and passion of intuition
Hadding the silence we evoke, is a moment come too late?

Hatred, or by excessive gesture, the world?
Place a future of benevolence in front of a child
And the willingness of wishes to give a gift, or take one for
The lips of destined forces, the actual and the meager keep while...

A babyish face has the time, to remember the day as a friend has
Has a shown turn of courage, beginning and ending with cause
Sought the better of you, like a thread of persuasion is to ask
Can the arduousness you describe as a friend, be at odds?

The worth of hosting, a day dream...
Still to fore, the sanity of regency in the name of future loyalty
The winds of omnipresence, have the sense to live well, to deem
The stir of vanity in the lead, the welcome and or the doubted, to be...

A king about the reach and notoriety of views, here is loves vote:
Meant with maying guests, and the hope of virtue to come
With the worth of anger and bother, the vice we hold to fears cope
With the lip of liberty to prove, is our gift to teach its love?
Nothing above the board, and with hands below the table? see fear make a friends fantasy out of you...
Tony Tweedy Jan 26
Melodies of my soul in soft dulcet tones,
play through my mind once more in the night,

Emotion vibrating through my very bones,
to keep me company until the mornings light.

Words in the shapes of harmony and verse,
that give voice to my heart in purest sound.

To speak of an empty lonely universe,
and of a love my spirit never found.

How can flesh endure when a soul cries,
in relentless voice, in such a sad refrain.

While lament will pass at suns early rise,
A lonely soul knows, the song will come again.
Sad, lonely, loveless...... what is the point of life if nearing the end this is what remains?
R N Tolliday Jan 24
The dark ocean flows over her scratched and calloused feet,
As she faces the black horizon: far from what I've seen.
But what she sees are the stars, and a distant ferry catching light;
The silver traces, all around us, will bring her solace for the evening's plight.

Calming: the aqua at her feet... but also the black liquid in one hand—
Of which poisons her knowingly; at times it's cruelty from a rich white man.
But the 'baby needs her bottle', she'd say; sleep would ask for 'zero *****'.
Normal is this: her lines drawn in the sand, of change, ebbed away by the flux.

The woman works hard, through traumas, to provide a life for she and her son,
And it's clear—to me, that life ******* her, in many more ways than one.
Abused by the very worst, and she's never experienced a 'home', she'd cry,
Whilst drunk inside her enabler's one, of which her rent's paid at some point in time.

But she's a 'normal' person: her good heart, art dreams, and brains led her to be seen,
And now, I know it would break me if she were one day swallowed by the sea.
Despite our bond's submergence, by hidden rocks, its specialness I'll keep in heart;
And those promises I've made, I'll follow, no matter how far we go apart...

I'll always be there for her, if ever sought for in a time of need.
There's a place to roost if ever she travels, most of which's perks are free.
I'll be a fully-fledged counsellor, helping those, like her, find their feet.
Lastly—of myself—I'll continue writing, for the joy and love it brings is deep.
R N Tolliday Nov 2023
To the sound, of his music;
When it plays, my heart goes quiet.
Someday, I’ll spread my wings and kick through this door;
As far as that.

But, don't you feel this emotion of dread, though?
When you follow it.
It's turning me, 'round again, and I'm back to where I'd just started:
Wondering, what I am.

Well, say it's been a while, since I've been this way.
About each choice I can make, but the stress never ends.
Well, say it's been some time, since I've had this thing inside of me,
That there's just not enough time...

…to chase all of my dreams.
That there's a special need in me.
That there's a place I should be, rather than here…
And it's always calling me...​
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