i wear the same thrift store jeans everyday
and everyday she’ll laugh and say
that my archaic woven belt sits right above
that huge hole hovering above my wallet
and whatever colorful shade of gray
underwear i wear that day
will reflect the cool nudes in her gibbous eyes
and i’m just happy she’s talking to me
$1.99, calvin klein, light blue
japheth 2d
i’m sorry.

i’m sorry that i have to always leave this hole in my heart empty.

i’m sorry that i have to, everyday, make sure this hole has nothing in it

—afraid to fill something else in:

something else that might not fit the same way you did before.

i’m sorry for the sound it makes:

how it creates screams that resonates up until the very tip of my fingers,

how the void echoes deep constant hums that imitates the way my heart beats,

how it just beckons me to fill it in, knowing it’ll just turn that something to nothing.

i’m sorry for ever feeling this way again.

i’m sorry for telling myself i’ve filled it already when it’s obvious

i didn’t.

it’s still the same hole — in fact, it’s bigger than ever.

maybe

day by day it gets larger, i don’t know.

but it just feels like it’s eating away what’s left of my heart.

i’m sorry.

i know i’m not supposed to feel this

but i already am.
i’ve never felt this way of sadness again. first time this year huh. i know it’s not a good piece but i just want to let it all out
a star
is the most beautiful way
to look at light
they almost call to you
and whisper tales of midnight
but i’ve been told
stars are holes
in the floor of heaven
angels can peek their eyes through
to see their long lost loved ones
and to caress their longing
for the longevity
of an ending life
A part of my "what is" series! Follow for more!
Aesthete Flower Dec 2018
If Jumping into a black hole
would bring back your smile
I would do it
in a heartbeat.
Eni Dec 2018
People are like black holes
You dont know what you wait for
Until you swim/sink skin deep
Hoping you won't find yourself in a haunted house
With only a ghost to take over your heart.
Niobe Dec 2018
Merwin saw lions in China.
I found a chessboard on the ceiling.
I saw a ****** in a caterpillar's arms
Cradled like a child.
I found no rabbit
But I did find Alice.
The caterpillar claimed innocence
And I hope he's right.

The white knight never piped up form above,
He never took a step.

I think I'm losing the game.
Chess was never my thing,
But then, dead people were never my thing,
And here I am
And here she is
regardless.

Those of old saw meaning in the stars.
The stars in her eyes are too cold to hold any
meaning.
I can't decipher my next move from her eyes.
Stars make terrible chessboards.

I don't think I want to play this game anymore.
Alice is offputting
And the wonder has left
Wonderland.

Merwin saw lions in China.
We never made it that far.
Dor Nov 2018
Staring deep
Into the darkness
Above you.

What do you see?

Do you see shadows?
Demons?
Ghosts of the past?
Memories?

Well, I see the future.
The what-if’s.
And the “could-be’s”

I see my reflection.
My own self.

Its like looking into
My head.
Sifting through
The many ideas and thoughts.

...

The darkness, sometimes,
Presses down on me like
Compressed air.

I stare.
And stare.
And can’t blink my eyes shut

...

Alas, I am
Trapped in a
False world.
Where no one
Can reach me.

Till sleep finds me.
And claims me.

...

Only then,
Will I be free.
Shadow Dragon Oct 2018
Splash
a crash
dead gone
badly hurt
maybe one
may die
in a
**** hole
to starve
and be
buried alive
go away
and stay
where you are
leave me alone
and die in
a **** hole
Yanamari Oct 2018
One more thing
Before I lay my head to rest,
I must say
Hoping that my last words
Won't need to be repeated
And my essence unfelt;

A hole has manifested
In my sincerity
And no person has been
Left unaffected.

Many times I mention
My lack of drive and
Inability
To passionately
Reach for the moon
However...
My words as if delirious
Wander unintercepted
Into the horizon.

Of course in your insincerity
I slowly cared less and less,
But unable to be resilient
The hurt bore a hole
Pierced my soul
And left my energy
Diffusing low
Into the deep...

Darkness
Drawn apart
Awakened
In my end.

And in the darkness
There is nothing to
Let the light flourish again.
Kaitlin Evers Oct 2018
Lost. Where am I? Cold earth beneath me; bleak, vast, dripping darkness surrounding me. Alone, and lying at the bottom of the Devil's Kettle. I search inside of myself. I am empty. No mettle to stir, nothing inside myself to waken me from this darkness. Drip, drip, goes the saddening darkness enshrouding me. Once I had zeal. It is hard to imagine now. I am a shell, or not at all myself. There is no help. None who know of the black hole in which I lie. And if they did, how could one reach down a hand to lift me up? ***! ***! ***! The One who blessed me with strength, the One who took my strength. Cast me not headlong; lift me up with your victorious right hand. ***! ***! ***! Day upon day I cry out. Day upon day the earth beneath me lifts up.  Pain, pain, it washes away, weighted chains are falling loose, He elevates my sunken earth. Until the hole I lie in is no longer a hole, but is level earth in the light of day. Birds twitter, flowers are in bloom, the sun is shining through the trees. My world completely changed; and better than last I was here. Life and new song are inside of me. ***! ***! ***! Out of the miry bog you have rescued me and strengthened me anew. Praise! Praise! Praise! Blessed be your name!
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