She could only speak when his silence was sad
She would trade her butterflies for his summer rain
If she knew he would ever leave her in the memory lane
Her Sunshine would keep him warm in all the cold winter mornings
When the darkness invaded her thoughts
He was not there with warm hearts
Somewhere over the sky
when clouds appear
She misses her heart to dance in summer rain
Would he find her at the edge of last breaths
To recall a long-forgotten life
with full of crazy, bittersweet, shattered dreams.....?
Would she ever be able to dream again to walk an endless path at the Eclipse of the Sun.....?
Today I fought to not
crack under the pressure.
Tonight, I'm feeling unimportant.
Sitting in the car in darkness,
counting the rain drops
as they fall from the endless sky.
It was right then I realized
something I could relate to.
This feeling that dwells in me
could easily be compared
to the insignificance
of one rain drop
in a long thunderstorm.
Mother Earth quakes
Absorbing tears from heaven
Like gifts on her greening robes
Her heart aches
She knows our fears
Within her are endless globes
i want a drought.
i want the rain to stop hitting the roof like incessant knocks of a jehovah's witness
("have you been saved?")
you are unwelcome here.
i want a drought
because i don't think that my veins, running like rivers, my heart, swelling like a cloud about to burst with rain,
can handle one more phone call in the middle of the night,
one more stifled sob in the shower of an empty house.
on the day of my uncle's funeral,
(they called it a 'celebration of life'
but i've never seen a celebration
where there were so many people crying)
i thought that he would show a sign that he was here.
but it rained all day
and the only thing that i could hear over the noise
was his children crying.
a month ago, tucked into a booth at an italian restaurant,
my mom got the call that they were taking her off the ventilator the next morning.
i had never experienced the feeling of the world continuing to spin
until my mom was crying, my dad was praying, and families all around us
ate their pasta and drank their iced tea and laughed
while our family was falling apart.
the next day, it rained and rained
and stephanie passed away, as simple as a plug pulled out from behind a hospital bed, and a hand going cold.
when my friend took me for a drive,
so i could get out of the empty house,
so i could stop feeling like my throat was constantly on the verge of closing,
so close to suffocating, but never there,
the rain hit the windshield
and on any other day, i would've found it calming,
but it was mocking me.
today, your body lays in your bed, your arms so stick-thin that i don't think i will ever forget the shape of your bones,
your hands are too cold for your mother to hold any longer,
and your heart finally gave in,
and it is raining.
in little intervals,
like just when i think i am out of tears,
they come again,
sure as the setting sun,
hidden behind gray clouds.
rain, rain, go away.
let me breathe.
let me grieve,
let my eyes dry,
and let me go.
I want to dance
across your eyelashes like fingers on a piano.
I want to curl those fingers,
twirl them in your beard
twisting and jumping
gently with grace
across the stage.
I want to be close to the city of your soul,
listen to the sounds
that echo off the buildings of memories.
I want to be a tourist of you,
snapping pictures and
standing in awe
of the landscape that is your temple.
I'll build a monument to you,
an ode to your good deeds-
we could fill a museum with you.
I want it to rain in your voice,
pour over me
so I can drink your thoughts
and grow toward the sun of your smile.
I want to reach down
and dig my fingers into your Earth,
fill my mouth with your soil
and let your nature consume me
while I consume
I want to bathe in your ocean,
wash my sins away
while I exalt in yours.
I want to feel your ground beneath me,
steady and sure,
as I take this journey,
my pilgrimage to your heart.
storm clouds surround my head
and thunder claps in the distance
or is that the beating of my heart?
i sometimes get nature’s wrath and my own confused
when I think of you
so I apologize –
you see when I cry, usually
the sky does too but
maybe it’s because I always told you how I loved
the rain and you would laugh
when I danced in the mud puddles after a storm
now the ground is dry and cracked and
the rain clouds never come here anymore
I want to feel as if I'm at the center of a storm
I want to see thunder and hear lightening
At your touch I want to watch oceans form
See stars collide as senses are heightening
Reach for my spirit; her restraints unbind
Make her release; heart, body, and mind