The heavy patter of the rain
Reflects the pattern of my heart
In longings last
How I've waited for this storm to pass
Slowly pouring out
With a cooling voice
Till I calm myself
And yet so much more than the afterstorm
Which I must create
Everytime I've felt
The need to be
More than this old me
This rainsoaked version of the self
Sound and fury
Sound of silence
Silence is golden
Silence is silver
Silver needs polished
Silver makes coins
Coins that jingle
Coins that spend
Spend your paycheck
Spend your time
Time passes slowly
Time passes fast
Fast and furious
Fast for Lent
Lent before Easter
Lent him my car
Car is broke down
Car won’t start
Start your engines
Start out right
Right makes might
Right hand man
Man nor beast
Man woman and child
Child of heaven
Child of earth
Earth is round
Round ‘em up cowboy
Round the bend
Bend an ear
Bend a knee
Knee jerk reaction
Knee length socks
Socks in a drawer
Socks in the wash
Wash your hands
Wash your face
Face your demons
Face the wall
Wall of sorrows
Wall of rain
Rain is dreary
Rain from clouds
Clouds are forming
Clouds gray and black
Black tie optional
Black is my mood
Before I die I want to learn
to live in the moment
this very moment
I want to feel every breath
If the sun is shining I want
to let it go through me
enlivening every cell
If it rains I want to try
to count the droplets
sense the life in them
I want to learn to replace worry
regret with wisdom
letting go of past traumas
real or imagined
I want to learn who I am
how to be true to that
I want to learn
to forgive my shortcomings
to absolutely know myself
I want to learn a thousand-thousand
I want to learn to fly
in my dreams
before I die
I want to learn to live!
I woke up to this rainy April day.
Thought I'd hear the birds chirping, but all I hear is rain.
I try to roll out of bed, but I feel so drained.
Why oh why am I in so much pain.
My dogs barking at these men they are fixing our stove, but yet I still feel blank and kinda cold.
Today is just like any other day because of this dreary dark rain.
It keeps me in my depressive state.
When can I have a clean slate?
I'm laying on the couch not wanting to shower. The rain falls as time passes by the hour.
I make breakfast and decide to clean, but then something inside me stops me.
Could this rain not want me to break free? Could all this pain just be inside controlling me?
I'm losing my control of things I need something to change. But I can't do anything because of this lousy rain.
I finally get myself into the shower the rain pours and maybe just maybe will bring me May showers.
I do myself enjoy flowers, but as of now the rain falls and all my petals come off faster and faster by the hour.
While in the shower I feel the warmth cleanse me, but I do not feel all that clean.
The anxiety, depression and mood swings like to daunt me. Like a hopeless child everything seems to taunt me.
When when will I be fully happy?
This endless cycle like the rain in April you'd think would put one at ease. Oh unfortunately not for me.
Steadily I break and lose all my leaves like the giving tree.
But unlike the tree I have been given such grief. Will my chaotic mind ever set me free? Will it ever let me be me?
Will the depression disappear? Will this anxiety finally stop running through me like a tease? Fuck these god awful mood swings.
I need to find myself some inner peace. Maybe once the sun is near I'll light up, glow and cheer joyfully.
But will that actually make me satisfied and happy?
Will I get rid of the depression and anxiety? Will my mood swings tilt and shift or unravel inside of me? Will I ever be fulfilled and find happiness?
Will the pictures on the walls of my house look like art and less of a mess? These feelings have always found their way inside me controlling my stress.
Will these showers ever pass or when they eventually pass still have me feeling like this will always last?
I feel a breeze the rainy draft.
A gloomy April none the less.
When May comes will I still be feeling any of this?
But I guess for now as the rain falls down in April I wait for May to hopefully find myself again. Peaceful.
She could only speak when his silence was sad
She would trade her butterflies for his summer rain
If she knew he would ever leave her in the memory lane
Her Sunshine would keep him warm in all the cold winter mornings
When the darkness invaded her thoughts
He was not there with warm hearts
Somewhere over the sky
when clouds appear
She misses her heart to dance in the summer rain
Would he find her at the edge of last breaths
To recall a long-forgotten life
with full of crazy, bittersweet, shattered dreams.....?
Would she ever be able to dream again to walk an endless path at the Eclipse of the Sun.....?