Do you ever feel like nothing will ever change? The depression, the anxiety, Your way of living? Sometimes I feel like I am not where I should be at twenty-five, I do not make enough, I do not do enough, and have nothing to show for twenty-five years. Will I always be this sad? Will I ever be proud of the woman I have become? Or am I doomed to live like this forever? Never truly happy with myself.
These roaming thoughts Keep crashing in my head Forcing me to remember How lonely it felt To be with you How you pushed me aside To love on another. I asked, Wondered, Begged For a future with you. But it seems that I’m not worthy Of such hope. My loneliness will consume My fleeting happiness I will always feel neglected
I wake up wet and cold at 4AM So I look in my ashtray for the biggest joint end. I smoke what's left and lay back for two secs... Next I check the grinder for any remaining specks. I bang out all that I can and roll a splith with trembling hands.
As smoke enters my lungs, a tear fills my eye. Exhaling all hope I begin cry.
I do this to myself with no happiness in life. I can't control myself this has become my life. I often ask myself what I want from life. And find myself wishing that I wasn't alive.