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I would rather have a panic attack in the dark room than be alone at home in my own zone depressed on my phone. Then staying up an insomniac, at the park, rising gloom, falling rain, feeling pain, like it's all I ever known.
Attempted suicide, but then revived, choking phlegm, thought I died, I was there, in the hospital, bare ***** riddled with needles, poked and prodded, dead skin rotted, almost cried, but I fought it.
Now I knew, I had to go home, and to school, to ******* and moaning and drama, and talking, and floating back to normal society, choking on tears in sobriety, kind of wish I stayed dead cause she gives me glee, ignore what I just said and don't pitty me, as I escape again to a place you flee, when the lit fuse of my bomb rapidly, rushes towards the end, she's gone and done it again, she's wrong and loving other men, I'm right here and paying amends, for **** that I never did, all I ever wanted was to please a kid, with a rotten heart, that was full of sin, I hope the goal was never to win, in this game of life, strife ridden knife stuck on skin.
What doesn't make sense is how she makes me so happy, cause I'm dense headed every time she calls me pappy, or *** or says, "I Love You", it was two months of a misconstrued, confusing relationship thing, now two months without it and it ******* stings and aches when I'm not around her, I want to love her, I want to ground her, ram her, straight into the floor or wall so maybe she can feel my pain, bash her head in a door and make her choke on a wedding ring, while I smoke **** out her mouth like toking while she's bleeding from the throat down to the feet and... in this verse I just finished a talk and I understand that I've been gawking nonsense all along and she isn't with me because she doesn't want to hurt me, but sticks by me because she really likes me.
I feel fine now because I've put the puzzle pieces together and I've calmed down now cause I think I understand Heather.
That's what I'll tell myself as life goes on, living in the prison cell of pain and beyond.
Did I figure it all out?
Beneath the thousand stars
And the lonely moon
A moment I wish could've last
Lying on the sand next to you
You with those crimson red lips
And eyes colored of the ocean blue
With sound of waves crashing through
I could lie forever with you
And in those quiet moments together
I have dreamt my future with you
With a little house and picket fences
Maybe with a child or perhaps two
I would have taken my chances
Just to have a life with you
But at the end of the day we knew
That this wildest dream
Could have never come true
For you were forced by your father
To be the wife of another
And here I am still thinking about
The thousand stars by the beach
Those quiet nights that I truly miss
Laying on the sand right next to you
But now I am lonely just like the moon
Sometimes that's the only thing we could hold onto when we have to let something or somebody walk out of our door
Stark Dec 2
Pained expression on your face
Grimacing as you return your gaze to meet mine
It physically hurts for you to talk to me
A stark reminder
Of what you’ve lost

Everything is open
Like a gaping wound
All the cards have been revealed
And you let the grief engulf you

Falling backwards into the crushing sea
Waves cascading
Salty--for the tears that you have shed
falling into the sea of grief
Faith Dec 1
We can’t choose what we like. It isn’t easy when that thing you like is not accepted by everybody. Yeah I’m talking about love. We’re supposed not to care about what other people say but when it comes to family things change.. My mom can’t accept my homosexuality and it kinda *****. Every time I go through a break up with a girl, I can’t say anything to her. I have to grieve alone. I need her. But well, this is not the end of everything. She’ll eventually understand it and I’ll be able to be myself with her. If you’re going through something like this, I get you and I know how painful it is.  I’m here if you ever wanna talk about it. We’re all humans, and humans fall in love with whoever they want to, regardless it’s a woman or a man. The thing is, we all deserve to love and be loved. We need to push away every hateful words and vibes and move on. And well, nobody is 100% hetero anyways haha. Hope this will give you at least a little hope that everything will turn out fine.
Don't break my heart;
I only have one.
Instead, open your ears and take a listen.
All those painful words you say,
they don't touch me;
nope, no way.
They fly right past me;
they don't hurt me, clearly.

for now...

But you don't stop.
And sooner or later,
some of those words are going to get caught.
They'll make me feel
They'll scar me, won't let me go on.
Inside me, I'll never feel calm.
You and your bad words,
you can leave.
Go away and leave me in peace.
Don't hurt me with your words,
don't hurt anyone with them.
Don't use your bad words.
Ever. Again.
unnamed Nov 30
once I've been told,
'til these roses turn old
and my earrings tarnish their gold
my hands are what you will hold

since then, gazes went fiery
my palms weren't as sweaty
heart beating like crazy
my eyes were never teary

my poems have seen happiness
oh, dear ***, I know I've been blessed
playlists were still sad, but less
calmed my waves with your caress

and in every relationship I've had
I've always anticipated for the bad
but you never made me go mad
and luckily, I was never sad

happiness with you in sight
you made me shine so bright
you embodied every winning fight
still smitten, never something so right

my words cherished you deeply
you might looked perfect, seemingly
my thoughts have suffered politely
made me look dumb intimately

have you realized
that I make zero sense?
because all of these
are written in past tense.
ChrisE Nov 28
there was a storm in your eyes
Ready to destroy and make me cower at your feet
crocodile tears you coughed up could cause even the Nile to over flow with emotion

your eyes are wild
not everyone could see the crazy in them
the hunger in them
the readiness in them to devour my soul
and the readiness in me to just let you
because you consume my thoughts
you are my only thought

you could run me over with the car which is your words and I would still forgive you
you could leave me, without a trace , come back and cry those crocodile tears to me and I would still forgive you
one thing I won't forgive is if you peel off the layers of my skin and plunge your claws into my heart and make it bleed
by loving someone else

I can't accept you leaving me
without a heart to fend for myself
leaving me in the wildness that isn't yours
Abby Nov 23
Was hopping you would give me a visit in the hospital that day but you never.

A volunteer came and talk to me
"How are you?" "What do you enjoy the most", i smiled and show her the photos and videos of you and me

Those night you were down
Those sleepless night chatting happily
You sending me home
Eating and movies

Little did she know you've already left me, i smiled again and replied "those was the best night i ever had"

She asked "What quotes do you live by?"

"Live life to the fullest, you'll never know when you'll lose them."

The day you lost them its the day you watching them falling for others.
I can't handle this pain its too much.

Cherish the moments.
Abby Nov 22
Feelings don't die easily because we keep feeding them with memories

Its so painful, the aching feeling in my heart isn't fading.

Please hug me like how i used to hug you
Please come and find me like how i used to find you when you're down
Please pet my head like how i used to pet urs
Please lend me ur shoulder to cry again.

You're the one who brought me out of the darkness and also the one who pushed me in again.

You promised me you won't leave. where are you now? Little do you know every night my tears is shaking for you.In
If it still make you cry, it still matters.
Abby Nov 22
I gave you my best,

I've never travel down for someone when they're down.

I've never comfort someone the way i comfort you.

I've never worried others like how i worried about you.

I've never go this far for someone but for you.

I've never cried for someone so badly just because knowing i did my best but it's not enough.

But you left me because its not enough.
Why do they keep promising the things that they don't mean it?
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