There was a fog that seemed to hover thickly
over the perceived salience of his musings
It was as if there were a veiled mystique
that left hopeful understanding ,
ambiguously obscured ...
His soul's cadences fell beyond the pale ,
like a reverberant iron bell’s clamor ,
drowning acumen ;
albeit , unmistakabe crystal clear allusions ,
scanning inwardly, rhapsody in his mind's eye
Illusive accord ,
beclouded by seeming stigmas
borne of the flesh ;
delicately sensitive nuances ,
misunderstood imperfections ,
bespoken utterance weighed heavy upon heart ...
In the hush of pensive repose ,
flow of soul streamed forth from its retreat within ;
bequeathed as if darkness
was magnetically drawn towards light ,
purging muted understanding ...
Assuredly seeking all questions with verve ,
accepting , that all answers sought
are not meant to be understood
A realization of those who wish to speak yet abide unspoken ;
the unseen mark of those that wished they had been loved ,
befallen the music of a thundering heartbeat ,
understanding a circle is vulnerable ,
only makes it stronger ―
it had been written
in countless misunderstood ways ...
Knowing he resists an inner-voice to endure silently
for a fear of that which remains indelibly writ ,
tattooed on introspective walls
far removed from the afterglow of light ,
where depth of soul yearns to be freed ;
heart speak hushed , deft words avowed
in enigmatic tongues ― Vayu doth whisper
soul's prevailing tides ebb and flow
from unseen depths , permeating
deeply within inner realms
The spirit of soul once steeped his heart’s intone :
"Spell words that bind together passing strangers
Coalesce thoughts to inspirit those whom often walk alone
Append the goodwill of poetry, aspiring to bond individual
hearts and minds with words of love and light.
Conjure written spells to bespeak sincerely ,
a faith in unabated love"
and yet , he will write it again and again ,.. searching beyond words
…words grasped from emerging thoughts
drawn in to the light
searching for other adept words
to recite yet another way ,
sketch another word-scape ,
written with the relentless inexhaustibleness
of an unstoppable awakening ...
Another winter dawn imbues a new day come to light
he will write it again and again ,
... finding another way to be set free ...
I searched the ocean for my long lost treasure,
Only to forget about it and lose it forever.
I tried to dive deep, keep it together.
Searching for time just to discover,
It never existed.
I thought I had oxygen, I thought I’d be safe.
But turned out to be nothing when compared to the waves,
That pushed and slammed me back and forth,
Releasing my heart and stealing my core.
I’m nothing without it.
Fish everywhere of all shapes and sizes,
Some swimming in the open and some only hiding,
Never being revealed to the rest of the planet,
Nothing caring for them, holding their hand and,
Letting them win.
Their magnificent colors turn red into blue,
If I chose when to leave it wouldn’t be soon.
Fins shimmering through golden sunlight,
Holding all of them and nothing to lose sight.
No fitting in.
Every fish is different and sparkling with colors,
Never to be looked at and compared to another.
Because, quite honestly, that would ruin it all,
Comparing two fish by a mere flaw.
Life’s not a game to win.
My heart is restless Lord I am searching
For joy when I should be looking for
Peace. I should be asking more of you and saying less of me. I know you have me here right now and it’s where I’m supposed to be. I don’t know how to try and I feel like I’m doing this only as a last resort. I want joy, but it’s peace that I need. I find peace when I am here in adoration and the grace that I receive. It’s hard to let go of trying to find joy, because I love joy and you have given me a joyful heart. Remind me not to love joy more than I ought to love you. Let Your Will be done Lord in and through me. Allow me to speak love and life into all I encounter and may the work be fulfilling. Perhaps I already have the answer in front of me even now. I am at peace when I am with you. If I am with you, I will know peace and there is so much good I can do as a priest. Poetry and prayers, mentoring, connecting with all people especially our young people, being a councilor and confidant and all these things give me joy. Maybe being a priest isn’t where I want to be, but maybe being a priest is where I need to be for me, for you, and for others. Please Lord, help me to discern ever more this big decision and I pray that wherever I go and whatever I do, I may find or be led to a place of peace. Help me find joy in all the things I have peace with and may i never lose the joy and the childlike faith and love that you have given me. Amen.
So much to say, yet so little to say.
You think what it would feel like to be loved, to love.
Thinking how it would feel to cuddle with someone,
and feel like they can bandage your wounds and keep all the strong inside,
warm your cold heart so your not spewing your burdens on others,
collect your tears and tell you the story hidden in each and every one.
They tell you those stories are nothing,
don't worry, the real stories are the ones that never shed,
because they never disappear into the sheets of the bed.
so much to mean, yet so meaningless.
You think of all the people who've loved each other for years,
twenty years, fourty, sixty, their whole life and think,
I'll wait because my soulmate will be here in the end.
Then you remember those who can't stay put for one week, for one day,
for one month, because they can't seem to find those broken pieces,
from your last relationship, and put them together the right way.
They can't seem to find the right tears to throw away,
they're basically telling you to suck it up because it's not their time to tell you every little thing is okay.
Then you think, I need to hurry find someone quick,
because what if my soulmate never shows up.
I need to look for them and take them now.
Your so quick that you don't realize that their insides don't glow,
so quick that their words don't stick, so quick that their touch doesn't sooth.
They say "I love you" but they don't seem true.
They were just like you, to quick that they find your insides don't glow,
your words don't stick,
your touch doesn't sooth.
such a strong word, yet so simple.
They think your words "love" mean something,
but you threw it out as a simple word and not what they wanted it to mean.
There you go again, so quick you become like those who aren't color.
Color, love can be color, apparently it's so simple to say with color,
but not so easy to feel or hear with color.
No wonder you can't get it to stay colorful as it flows out your mouth,
no wonder the color spills off it and into the streets.
No wonder there is so many people in the streets,
maybe they're looking for that color to fix it, to stick with it,
but everyone knows you can never find it again.
You made your wait longer then it was,
you made your heart desperate for color, but no matter what,
you can never find that color anymore. So give up, better wait,
cos' it's all you got now.
Your gonna have to let your heart ache for a while,
your gonna have to keep wondering for your color even though you know well that you can't find it ever.
So sit tight, and think with the others.
"What is love?"
I'm in love with places I haven't seen
Haven't felt the air on my skin
A yearning that won't stop
Since I was a little girl
Walking alone in the flowers
Suddenly aware of all of life's beauty
Before I could even comprehend it
There was something inside me that always knew
Now I am afraid
It will be forever lost
Passing time doesn' forgive
the curiosity of a naive heart
We keep on finding ourselves,
Tho we are not lost.
We keep on searching our half,
Yet we are complete.
We keep on looking for love in others,
But we never try to look in ourselves.
I can not give you a good reason why some days my heart races into infinity
and other days it chooses to leave me hollow
that would be like asking me to rip open my chest
to expect something wild and free to do anything except what it wants just for you
my soul simply wanders into the direction my arrow chooses to go
I cannot tell you why sometimes my heart allows me to overflow my veins with happiness
while at the same time pumping anxiety into my sternum
I have spent my years searching
desperately trying to figure out an organ that was never meant to be explained to the owner of it's shell
I have been asked what I am doing with my life
and my answer is always the same
listening to my heart when it's disagreeing with my brain
A man rode to town last night
but soon was drawn off course
Lost in woods out went his light
for wind did blow with force
He looked long without his sight
Far away came a glow
he made his way with all his might
and long his path did go
Thick brushwood put up a fight
but soon the path grew hot
the guide flew up to a height
the sun then took its spot
We are constantly put into a position that makes time relative.
Forced to face the future every step of the way.
Every current thought clouded with the judgment of the future.
How will this affect my future?
What will this decision in this moment be in the future?
That is why we envy those carefree spirits.
Who only base their decisions on this pseudo principle
We call the present.
We taunt them and their “reckless” behavior
As thoughts like theirs have no place in this world
Which refuses to see the beauty in a place where time seems to stop.
Their actions do not crave the approval of the future they crave the
excitement of the present which we ignore to the point
we don't even speak of her.
It is as if she fails to exist on this plane that we are currently in.
When the future holds no promise what is it that drives us towards it
Why do we long to be there?
While refusing to acknowledge that we are the small dialogue between the past and future.
The only this that can be actually accounted for in this moment.
Where time is but a unit of measurement used to guide you.
To make you forget.
Life is happening to you right now
In the present
With you as the placeholder.
You are the person who winds the clock
So why do we kneel to it every day?
Constantly moving forward helps one forget the struggles of right now.
Having one's mind pressed on the future allows for the pains of the
present to fade.