Edith L 40m

I want to forget you completely

You destroyed me entirely

You ripped my character apart

You threw me off a cliff and expected me to save myself

Your depart was soul shattering

You left without remorse
And you never turned back

You didn't even attempt to

You did it without a warning

I was immobilized for days
I was too emotional
Too fragile
I was in physically pain

And still

I close my eyes and I visualize you

The way your eyes sparkled when
you talked about something that  you so deeply loved

You force me to forget about the way you lied

And focus on the way you brought peace to my chaotic whirlwind of thoughts

But that's long gone now

I just wish the asphyxiating remains left with you too.

It's over. Why are you still lingering about

Sunlight swathes the car door window, warming my shoulder with southern heat.
Tunes hum, rattling around in the radio, patiently waiting their turn to serenade me next.
The anxiety coats the air like warm milk in your stomach, clinging to the interior of the vehicle.
Words are few, silence abundant in it's absence, it only pauses for brief discussion.
There is not much left to say, the worst is over. New chapters begin, the fear seeps out and reality creeps in.

. . .
J 11h

He eroded himself like a rock into a fine powder.
Losing sight of himself.
He started to fall into the abyss of a dark tunnel.

A “Small purchase” he called it “Something to drink”
And she slowly lost sight of him as he fell into a dark chasm of sorrow.

He diluted and mixed
himself until he forgot.
He lost himself in drink and further himself from his loved ones.
He slammed doors.
The devils claws drew close .

But he was oblivious, he shouted and pushed.
But one soul reached into his heart
Showed him the error, his dilution
And he saw the light in the once dark chasm.

3.

I walked alone down my road of broken pieces and I felt stable.
You joined my side and things were just a bit warmer.
I saw you lurch toward the abyss, and I tried to catch you.
You came back, shaken and scared, but still safe.
I held you, afraid to lose you, who meant so much to me.
But the abyss called you, and there was nothing that I could do.

I walk alone down my road of broken pieces and I am empty.
My sides are cold with the wind, howling through my thoughts.
I stumble toward the abyss, and there’s no one to catch me.
I make no sound, but I fall away from everything that once was.
I spread my arms, glad to leave nothing behind.

A blank space or missing part

Never again will I walk those floors, or will I see the stars in your eyes.
The rooftop romance we once had will dissipate into a soiled garment on the floor, one I left there months before.
You left me in the winter, and I met you years ago in the hot summer scape.
I've evaded this fear too many times until I realized my love was gone and yours was too late.
Never again.

I love you. But you're not coming back, and I don't want you to.

When you’re gone, I feel so empty,
When you left, I’ve completely lost hope.
When you cried, I’d burst into tears inside,
When you’re gone, I could not cope.

Every night, I dream you’re right here,
Lost in my phantoms, smiled in my light.
But when I wake, you’re gone, disappeared,
Back to the real world, my body so tight.

My feeling of joy, gone from my time,
Lost in my phantoms, Found in my light.
Without you, I’d do serious crime,
But Back to the real world, I could no longer fight..

When you’re gone, I feel so empty,
When you left, I’ve completely lost hope.
When you cried, I’d burst into tears, So help me,
When you died, I felt dead right inside..

fuck butterflies in my stomach when i see you, i get the rush of wild mustangs trampling my body. the pounding hooves rattle my heart, and blurs of the meadow between heel and head hint at your blue-green eyes i so intently memorized. deafening neighs mask whispers in my head telling me to gaze a little longer. the force of their stampede whisks me off my feet just as your voice always does. but as the trailing horse disappears over the horizon, i'm left with the intoxicating feeling of your arms holding my broken pieces together.

A clef,
On a music sheet,
holds the dreams,
You shared with me,
Upon that couch,
As we talked the night away,
So why do I remember,
The clef so well?
The song stuck in my head,
Is a reminder of you.

The creaks of the walls setting. The silent pitter of the leaky facet in the hall bathroom. That black stain on the entryway rug. The intoxicating light scent of lavender incense. These are the things that made home......home. Now its all a distant memory, for I have moved on. Moved out. Gone.

The glimmer of the sweat on your brow.
The light in your smile.
The throaty sound of your laugh.
The rays shining through the window in the passenger seat of your car.
The distance that slowly appeared.
The cold shoulder I got without as little as a reason why.
The nervous fidget of your hands as you spilled out an excuse.
The flush of your face when you told me we were done.
The the ice of the tears cried.
The day you left.

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