Kat 1h
Quite tired and worn out
I know there's nothing left to say

Yeah, I wasted some time
I understand I can be an easy prey
I'ts not right.

Sure, now I'm bleeding
Ah, just a few new hospital bills to pay
Healing on the outside.

You know I might have been mousetrapped
Well, some additional scars you may carve
I always put up a fight.

And the thing is, when you realize I got away
You are the one who will starve
I'll be alright.
I watch through sliding glass doors
she sits in the yard
with clouds unrelenting
a chill pushed by a strong breeze
storm foreboding
darkness works its way closer
she reads
I had hoped against odds
to find her here
a smile waiting before I leave
a kiss to linger in the hours apart
our lives
our love
slip silent into these empty moments
of realization
fade deeper
and closer
to a time when I will stare
upon an empty yard
10/06 - revised
Aayasha khan Jul 12
Heart beats went slow
Tough days await ,because you never show
Yes, I know I told you to go away
But didn't you tell me that you will never let go long felt too long ...
Yet, those memories I live by are never gone.
An old feeling bought to you.
MicMag 1d
i wish she was here
by my side
at the table
in the bed
telling jokes
sharing what we've read
smiling, laughing
even complaining
sweating profusely
while sunny and raining
my daily reflections
to confide
i wish she was here
by my side

but she's gone
to help some girls
to share her joy
to change the world
she makes me hopeful
she makes me proud
she makes me happy
i'll say it loud
2 of 3 on her absence
This is the question they ask me,
And one which I struggle to answer;
For it is not something I gave much thought,
And I really dont know how to answer.

It plagues me every day,
For you are still - ALL of you..."gone";
Why did I ever go back?
Had I been away for too long?

Perhaps I was being selfish,
Wanting to go back and see my Nan,
Wanting to go back to my roots,
To be on the ship while I still can.

To go back to where I felt I belonged,
I had waited ten years to go back;
And I still dont regret my return,
I dont see it as a reason for "attack".

I thought I had a family,
But it is quite clear that I do not;
For I struggle to find any answers
For this place that time forgot.

So it was a big mistake
To once again return,
To feel the soil under my feet,
For which I had so long yearned.

To climb High Knoll,
Looking out to sea;
Beyond the rugged terrain
lies nothing but sea, sea and more sea.

To climb the peaks,
Through the flax and the ferns;
Everything so green,
Being circled by the terns.

The wild windy bends,
On the road to Blue Hill;
The cloud almost consuming me -
and then everything so still.

The woods of Plantation,
And Rosemary Plain;
The sweet smell of fresh pine
Brings me back again and again.

The narrow streets of Jamestown,
Where cars and people compete;
Can take such a long time to walk,
Talking for hours with everyone you meet.

Swimming in the sea at Rupert's
Became my great escape;
With lovely friends we'd cook and swim
From early until late.

Being churned by the rough South Atlantic
Is like being in a washing machine;
When the huge waves come crashing upon you,
All you can do is hold your breath and hope...its better not to scream!

The water is warm but not gentle,
The swell can sweep you away;
As the waves pound rocks at your body,
You might be tempted to pray.

We swam and ate plo,
We swam and ate cake;
Fish freshly caught
Then from fire and onto plate.

Nana's house has not changed much,
The old geysir still in place;
The bead curtains, the photos,
of just about every single face.

Cockroaches escape hastily,
And the mozzies might come in,
Yet the peace and tranquility of this place
...with its "acoustics" of tin...

For the tin roof has a lot to offer
Especially for a musician;
The flute can be heard from afar,
Penetrating the silence within.

The rain drops make music too,
As they fall upon this roof of tin;
Every other sound may well be drowned out
And the lights sometimes go dim.

But to look from Nana's house,
To the peaks, the Gumwoods, the Fort;
Across to Francis Plain, the School,
And the sea in the distance of course.

Flagstaff sits prominently,
The sun setting on its flanks;
All can be seen from this house,
Built on these precarious banks.

I said goodbye to my nana
I did not know she was going to die;
She was staying in the nursing home,
I visited each time I passed by.

The house then felt more empty,
Even though she had to move out;
Suddenly it became so empty -
Everyone now has moved out.

It was also a place of torture,
And I am not proud at all of my mark;
I left this house with a darkness,
From which it will never depart.

I left the Island with darkness,
As it came time for me to depart;
The people, community shattered,
I still love it with all my heart.

I then felt I could help others,
After learning from those I could confide;
Since my once close knit family
Had pushed me to the side.

We thought we could bring justice,
For many victims of this fate;
But then as we drew so close..
...all of a sudden - it was too late.

Now we are cursed even more,
For our actions have caused such shame;
Yet he was the one who abused us -
He was the one to blame.

So I say goodbye as thats all I can do,
Tears flowing as I write this;
For I know with most certainty...
that I shall never return...and how I miss...

I miss you St Helena,
I tried to help you too;
But as closed minded as you are,
I am just more sad - there is nothing I can do.

Without the support of anyone,
Due to "fear of speaking out",
My own voice falls on deaf ears,
Even when I shout.

Now I must live with this damage,
And shame, and blame, and guilt;
Sometimes I still know not what is true,
Because as women - of course, its "our fault".

You are drifting away St Helena,
Our people - they have but gone;
I miss you, our jewel of the ocean,
Thinking back to the days when I was "still one".

I was still one of you till  last year,
How so much can change in that time;
But now our bond is forever broken,
Its broken...because of this crime.  

....and yes....it was a crime.
A new poem...not really thought out.  Just thoughts that came out (!).
MicMag 1d
she's not here
she went away
she'll be back soon
i hope
i pray

i think
i knowbutdontknow
that hurts to think
it doesn't hurt to drink
so i'll just drink that thought away
1 of 3 on her absence
You can leave if you really want to
I'm not going to try to stop you
And I won't tell you I love you
You should know by now
Know me by now

You can leave if you really need to
I won't beg you to stay
And I won't tell you I miss you
You should know by now
Know me by now

You can leave if you really have to
I'm not going to cry
Because you aren't in my life anymore
You could've kept me
But you, you never wanted me
Never saw me

So you can leave if you really
need to;
want to;
have to
Despite it all
I'd never take the days back
I'd never wish away the pain
For even when she's faded
I'll know that at least there was a day
When she looked at me
With the utmost care
And I would laugh through the days
Thinking she would always be there
you come back
and leave
and return like a breeze
and never stay to cool my overthinking.
you drift along
until you find someone better
not realizing that no one will love you
and the mysterious way you move
more than I.
because on that occasional day when you
do decide to stay...
you shake my leaves til i’m certain of your love.
then like a ghost, a vapor, a wind...
you’re gone.
Nyx 5d

Dear Older brother
You're never around
My Dear older brother
it's seemed you've dropped your crown

I've grown up knowing you merely by name
I didn't grow up with you
I haven't seen your bad days
Thou I do know somethings to be true

I know of a niece of mine
She a daughter of yours
Her name is Brianna
I still remember after all these years

She's kind and sweet
very loud and obnoxious
though you neglected her
She's always been quite cautious

You're the ghost of the family
The so called black sheep
Disappearing from existence
though nobody seemed to weep

In the past you were quite the rebel
  You grew weed in pots
Shoved them high in the trees
But that was a terrible hiding spot

I heard father tell me
You were part of the wrong crowd
You became a well known drug dealer
Going around this old town

I called you awhile ago
To inform you grandma died
But you didn't know who i was
Don't worry about it I replied

Half the same blood
We hold in our bodies
But clearly nothing alike
We aren't carbon copies

I wish though sometimes within the night
That you could have been a real brother
And a real father to your daughter
Instead of a stranger like any other

But time passes like everything else
There is no point hoping for the impossible
So to my so called dear older brother
I hope you can care for somebody
If thats even possible


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