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in the loudest moments my truth whispers
to silence the noise of a voice
that only does me harm
i wont listen
i'm okay
Anton 8h
I. as a kid i spied
on fridge -
rectangle bulge on metal feet

high, polished frame stood still
by kitchen angle
spider silked web
on bitter
food machine

my arm leaps swiftly
then i leak in

i catch four chic sieves
here carrying and freezing
empty steel

II. as a teen,
i gave my fridge
a renovation

i placed here
a shiny crystal screen
providing
instagram and twitter
connection

III. as a grown man
i'd
probly
add a laptop
speaker
blender
a coffee grinder

floor cleaners
wash
red hoover
wisks
and wipes
old dusty spider strings

'store substances
in frigdie box'
a flower goal

we'll store here
an azure planet
blurred by muddy wars

[
hmm
how could
we land here
some cans
and jars
and... food?
                    ]
Rowan S 10h
And as I stood
Clothed in my shame
The monster I'd created
Was me
Was mine
And
The most difficult part
Was turning to the mirror
Looking into my eyes
And realizing
There was no Jekyll
There was no Hyde
There was just me
There are so many things I would change/cannibalize from this poem (and I will eventually), but this is the first poem I have recorded that I wrote about the refusal of the Jekyll/Hyde stereotype.

-------"I wear the chain I forged in life," replied the Ghost. "I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it."--------
when it all makes sense
the hunch that leads you to a conclusion
that I had a right to think the way I did
Because the end is clear
and whatever I worried about when I broke, became the truth
and now I’m no longer in the picture
your picture
your experience


but why does it matter right now?
stuck in thought, writing them down and deconstructing the meaning of all it ever was or will be


you are doing you

and so am I

whatever makes you happy

in the end

All is clear

Bad or good

The end is clear

plenty endings sum up a conclusion with an ending as well

and when we die

It’ll be clear
We are always in the middle of something
It is better to be honest and alone
than to lie and be isolated
we finish talking
say goodnight
i love you
you wrap your arms around me

your breath on my neck
as i once again ponder
how to bring it up,
how to get the words out

i open my mouth
but a sigh replaces the words
i've been trying to say
for so long

are you okay?
you ask
pulling me closer
kissing my head

i could say it
finish the conversation
that has been playing
in my head for days

but i don't
because just a few words
can break so much
and i just can't do that to you
even when you ask, i just can't tell
we do not say

what we mean, because

what we mean is so heavy

and gravity is so real

we are not strong

we cannot utter the words

that press so heavily on our tongues

until they gag us

instead, we savor those

artificial sweeteners

every day we grow thinner

and make no progress

toward lifting the weight of truth

it bides its time in that dark corner

listening to the tales we spin

laughing at our efforts to clothe ourselves

with lies

once in a while it pokes out its head

timidly

but we are too prone

to smacking its **** head

back into submission

and talking louder, louder, louder
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