in the loudest moments my truth whispers
to silence the noise of a voice
that only does me harm

He uses
your heart
to fill
his appetite

I. as a kid i spied
on fridge -
rectangle bulge on metal feet

high, polished frame stood still
by kitchen angle
spider silked web
on bitter
food machine

my arm leaps swiftly
then i leak in

i catch four chic sieves
here carrying and freezing
empty steel

II. as a teen,
i gave my fridge
a renovation

i placed here
a shiny crystal screen
providing
instagram and twitter
connection

III. as a grown man
i'd
probly
add a laptop
speaker
blender
a coffee grinder

floor cleaners
wash
red hoover
wisks
and wipes
old dusty spider strings

'store substances
in frigdie box'
a flower goal

we'll store here
an azure planet
blurred by muddy wars

[
hmm
how could
we land here
some cans
and jars
and... food?
                    ]

And as I stood
Clothed in my shame
The monster I'd created
Was me
Was mine
And
The most difficult part
Was turning to the mirror
Looking into my eyes
And realizing
There was no Jekyll
There was no Hyde
There was just me

when it all makes sense
the hunch that leads you to a conclusion
that I had a right to think the way I did
Because the end is clear
and whatever I worried about when I broke, became the truth
and now I’m no longer in the picture
your picture
your experience


but why does it matter right now?
stuck in thought, writing them down and deconstructing the meaning of all it ever was or will be


you are doing you

and so am I

whatever makes you happy

in the end

All is clear

Bad or good

The end is clear

plenty endings sum up a conclusion with an ending as well

and when we die

It’ll be clear
We are always in the middle of something

It is better to be honest and alone
than to lie and be isolated

we finish talking
say goodnight
i love you
you wrap your arms around me

your breath on my neck
as i once again ponder
how to bring it up,
how to get the words out

i open my mouth
but a sigh replaces the words
i've been trying to say
for so long

are you okay?
you ask
pulling me closer
kissing my head

i could say it
finish the conversation
that has been playing
in my head for days

but i don't
because just a few words
can break so much
and i just can't do that to you