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Jan 2019 · 475
Honey
i Jan 2019
You whisper to me,
"How would you describe us, baby?"
I take a long look at you, eyes filled with desire,
and I say
"You are simply honey,
the one that's raw,
the one that warms your lips and tickles your tongue,
the one whose taste you'll remember, but still long to taste it again 20 years later.
You're the honey that I don't want to, and neither I can, remove from my lips."
You're stuck in between my teeth, love,
sweet and irresistable,
that's what you are.
There's no other honey in the world like you, you know?
Even those dark eyes of yours
resemble a dark colored honey.
They sparkle and dance while you're gazing at mine
and I can't help but smile.
"But, long story short,
this is the way I would describe us:
You? You are the most delicious honey that has ever touched my skin.
And I? I'm just **** allergic."
Dec 2015 · 2.0k
28/11/2015 | i'm back
i Dec 2015
he told me
that my love was
bigger than all the
oceans together.
and now we barely
speak, and he can't
make me hate him.
it's impossible to hate
a person like him, to hate
a heart, a body, a soul,
a mind, like his.
i hope he still cares about me;
our july was wonderful.
maybe it's still love that
i'm feeling.
i miss him, i miss his love,
i miss him caring about me,
i miss our closeness,
i miss writing poems about him,
i miss being happy about him,
i miss his eyes, i miss the way he was
in july and august,
i just miss him, all the ******* time.
and it still hurts, i can feel my heart aching.
Jan 2015 · 2.1k
even though
i Jan 2015
he had that kind of smile that
could make flowers grow faster
and sun shine brighter, and even though
i only saw him at night times and
he always wore black and it suited him best,
he was the light of my life,

but he had someone,
someone important in his life
and i couldn't do anything about it,
except watch from a distance,
singing ramones songs to her,
although he said he hated romance.

**i guess he lied.
Jan 2015 · 2.0k
hope is you
i Jan 2015
i hope you notice how my cheeks
always flush whenever the cold air
hits my face or you look at me,
being the reason for your smile has been
my greatest accomplishment yet,
and i hope i get to kiss you this year.
Jan 2015 · 5.2k
skin
i Jan 2015
i know we share the same skin,
but can i touch yours?
Jan 2015 · 2.0k
i don't want to go back/
i Jan 2015
last night i found out that you still hold a cigarette between your lips and i just want to smack your stupid face for not quitting,
but what hurts me even more is that you didn't offer me yours and i have been thinking of buying one pack myself and drowning myself in pity and coughed smoke/

what i hate to admit is that you look even more beautiful with a cigarette between your fingers but i refuse to go back to my old self, to the old me who loved the boy with no heart, with smoke in his lungs instead of air, the boy with charming smile, because he wasn't even real, it was a person my mind had created in hopes he would become even more beautiful than he already was/

but at least i hope you had fun on new years and i'm thankful that some girl's lips weren't pressed against yours at midnight, but i don't love you anymore, so i don't know why i even care/

but even with smoke in his mouth, i knew i wanted to kiss him and savor his taste, which i only had presumptions of-
maybe his tongue was a mixture of mint and hurricane or strawberries and sun kissed rose pedals or maybe chocolate and rain but i felt dizzy and out of place when the realization hit me that i will never find out how his lips tasted and felt against mine/
i'm confused, g.
Jan 2015 · 2.3k
not yet-
i Jan 2015
my father warned me about
boys with black, dead hearts
but he hadn't even realized
that his deranged daughter
had become a girl with that same
kind of heart and she was scouting
for boys with nice ones, so she could
break them to pieces
and stomp on them.

but every time she tried,
she was the one who ended up
with a damaged, scratched heart
and she loathed herself for that,
the way she let herself feel even
the slightest bit of pain again.

but she coaxed herself that if she felt,
she was still human and she hasn't turned
into a emotionless, cold blooded monster,
yet.
Jan 2015 · 2.8k
whispers
i Jan 2015
they asked me,
"what do you feel?"
and i swear to god,
i almost whispered your name.

                                                               *maybe i should've screamed it.
Jan 2015 · 1.5k
+
i Jan 2015
+
i miss the sound of your name rolling off another person's lips.
Jan 2015 · 1.3k
drowned by his mind|
i Jan 2015
i.
i met a boy with light brown eyes
and a nice smile, with glitter in his hair
and no blood on his hands, and
he reminded me of the rain and
sun at the same time.

  *
ii.
he sometimes looked at me but it
wasn't with the same passionte eyes
i viewed him and i was certain he wasn't
longing for me to kiss his neck and graze
my teeth on the thin skin of his collarbone.


  
iii.
he fascinated me in ways i couldn't even explain,
his mind was the ocean i wanted to dive in and explore,
but i found myself unable to swim in the deep water,
and i couldn't find a way out on the surface, i felt myself
drowning and his arms, which didn't even reach out for me,
couldn't save me.


    
iv.*
i was buried by his laugh and drugged on his smile
but i couldn't wish for a more lovelier death.
Jan 2015 · 1.6k
x
i Jan 2015
x
perhaps he tasted like heaven,
but i was going to be hell
to his skin nonetheless.
Jan 2015 · 1.4k
shaky breaths☁
i Jan 2015
it's foggy outside and i can't see anything,
not even you and barely myself but
i inhale and it feels different, maybe
because you're not here but i found out
that i can breathe without you but
my problem is that even if
a strom was raging on,
i would still hold your hand.
Jan 2015 · 1.5k
he's a god
i Jan 2015
he had the hands of a god
and he talked like a god,
looked like a god and
smiled like a god,
so proud and broad.

he laughed like god and
walked like god,
he was a true god but
he wasn't mine, nor he‘ll ever be.

i'm too sad to be his goddess.
Jan 2015 · 1.7k
deadly smiles//
i Jan 2015
i'm sick and cold and shaking and coughing the venom that is you and you have poisoned my blood and my heart isn't beating the same anymore and you are so painfully beautiful it hurts//

i loved him more than anything and i missed his smile like the flowers miss the rain but there were stroms and lightning and i couldn't stop crying over him but he was just shining and i always wondered where he went with his friends and if he had started smoking cigarettes or if he ever got drunk and tried to call me but remembered he didn't have my number, though i'm sure i haven't crossed his mind this year//

the snow seems warmer without you and you should know by now that i hate warmth and i always preferred the cold, maybe that's why i always loved you, you were colder than the ice i slipped on and fell and i fell for you and i still have no clue why i compare you to the weather//

i've been slashing blood for him even though he doesn't care but maybe i should show him my wrists and he would run away but i‘d tell him it's all him, he did this with his pity laugh that reminded me of bitter coffee and black chocolate but he would still leave, boys with deadly smiles and clear minds and rough hands who play tennis in the rain always leave and they always ruin girls with nice hearts and sparkling eyes and flushed cheeks and freezing lips who love to chase them//
Jan 2015 · 1.4k
destroyed//you
i Jan 2015
i wrote poetry about him until my hands hurt
because i didn't want to forget the way
my heart burned every time he smiled and
i didn't want to forget his eyes and the stars in them
and how they always shined, even in the daytime
but i guess that poetry will stay unread and
he will stay unaware and it's the cigarettes
i wanna smoke and the ***** i wanna drink
until i forget his face but i know that even when
i'm completely smashed, i'll still be slurring his name.
i Jan 2015
maybe it's sort of pathetic how you were my very first thought in 2015
and how i couldn't watch you smile as the clock struck twelve but i guess i'm just never good enough for your presence
i hate how you're cold and i always burn and you could freeze me with your eyes if you‘d ever look at me but i'm only firing flames and you don't seem to notice and you're clueless to my sadness or just want to be
and you don't look at me anymore
you never smile and i never smile and i guess the world is a sad place and the stars don't shine and my heart doesn't sing and my lungs dont breathe without your smile
the sound of your name is my favourite melody and your voice is my favourite tune and you're the song i can't stop listening
and i noticed how your friend mentioned your name and then searched for a reaction in my eyes, he would stop for a second and scan my face for a change of the sound of your name and i feared they might see you behind my eyes because it's all i ever see,
he told me tales of how you missed your bus and chased it and i could just imagine your flushed cheeks, i guess you're used to this weather and he asked me about you and i just smiled and denied but it was all a lie since i still love you but to be honest i never actually stopped no matter how much i tell myself i did
you were my first dream of 2015 and i fear you're gonna stay just that when i want you in reality and i know these two weeks are gonna be hell without you but maybe hell is exactly what i need since you're my heaven, the heaven i don't even deserve and the moon is hidden behind the clouds and it feels like you're hidden behind time
i hope time doesn't erase you from my heart no matter how much i hate you,
maybe you'll never understand that you are the sun with a soul of a winter and i'm just a storm with a loud thunder.
Dec 2014 · 2.6k
a smoke
i Dec 2014
my dad started smoking again,
but that's okay,
now we can share a cigarette
as he tells me about life being hard
and i tell him about how nobody loves me,
but then he will throw the cigarette on the ground
and hug me so tight, i'll actually
believe his lies.
Dec 2014 · 4.9k
warm me up (20w)
i Dec 2014
your soul is much colder than
the weather and winter air,
but i bet your hands are
warm, at least.
Dec 2014 · 1.1k
your life (10w)
i Dec 2014
don't be a book everyone gets to
read and understand.
Dec 2014 · 5.0k
something exciting
i Dec 2014
i.
there's something melancholy,
something tragically beautiful
about loving someone who doesn't love you

ii.
there is a certain sadness
of bleeding for someone who
wouldn't even shed a tear for you

iii.**
and there is a certain romance
to reaching out and falling to the floor
and falling for you and crying silent storms
of unexpected kisses and warm hugs.
Dec 2014 · 1.5k
untouched snow; him
i Dec 2014
\he was like untocuhed snow;
cold, exciting, new, beautiful
and i was like a february sun;
explosive, dangerous, lying, false-
melting him until he disappears\

\he was different, yet the same,
i could see some strange light in his eyes,
and it excited me and scared me to death
at the same time\

\i still don't realize how his smile
brightened up my morning, and
made my day better\

\he was my one and only,
and even though i will never
get to touch his neck with my lips
and taste alcohol off his mouth,
at least i got the pleasure of being
in his presence and got the privelege
of him laying his eyes on mine,
being the reason for his smile\
i hope i get over him someday
Dec 2014 · 1.0k
fire and flame
i Dec 2014
I wanna get really drunk and tell you all the things I'm too afraid to tell you sober,
and I want you to call me drunk and whisper my name and tell me that you've been in love with me all along but we both know how stubborn i am and how proud you are and we both know that you deleted my phone number a long time ago and you're not planning on calling it any time soon but that's okay,
I'm okay.
I'm fine without you, no matter how much my heart burns and my head aches of your absence and how I find relief in my own puddle of tears, mixed with blood, bled only for you.
You were my sunshine when i wanted rain, and my star when I wanted clouds and I guess I was just the skip of your heartbeat, and just a mere breath taken away,
I still think about kissing you all the time, but it seems to hurt much more now as my hopes turned to cigarette butts and you being mine turned to dust.
I guess you were just the fog polluting the air, and I found it hard to breathe around you, you were the summer rain nobody wanted but I liked summer rains, they washed all my pain away, while the sun was still shining.
Maybe I was just the dirt on your shoes, you cleaned me over and over again, making me disappear and I always came back on rainy days where you accidentally step into a puddle of mud and I'm once again stuck on your shoes.
The frickle of sparkle in your eyes has me thinking and everytime I look myself in the mirror and focus on my dull eyes, all I see is you.
I wonder what kind of thoughts cross your mind every time you lay your eyes on me, and it's so wrong of me to be satisfied with the smile of pity on your face everytime you see me.
And i keep rereading all the sad poems I ever wrote you and it made me realize how much I was in love with you and how that unrequited love is slowly dying and fading away, the wind taking all the dust and broken pieces you left of me and making them sink into the sea.
Maybe this is your way of showing your power, the control you have over me, to brag to your friends about the pathetic girl who is in love with you and sees you through different eyes and finds you eternally fascinating.
And as i look through the window pane of my dad's car while we‘re driving through town, i see you in my own reflection and I see you on the sidewalk holding some other's girl hand and I see you in the moon and all the stars and rushing cars and I can't help it but you're my every thought, you have possesed me and I don't think I'm gonna survive this storm and I'm not even sure that I want to.
You're the fire and flame and I'm just a melted candle under your stare.
i Dec 2014
i lost you, and with that,
                  i lost myself.


                             *
*i just gotta accept the fact that
                             the girl who is gonna leave her
                             taste on your tongue realizes
                             how lucky she is going to be
                             to just touch your lips and
                             make you laugh.
Dec 2014 · 970
everything and nothing
i Dec 2014
you were the liquor i couldn't afford
and the cigarettes i didn't smoke.
you were the thoughts i couldn't
make up into words and
the covered bruise on my neck.
you were everything and nothing to me,
at the same time,
if that's even possible-
because you were the universe,
with galaxies in your eyes and
i wasn't even a star, babe.
Dec 2014 · 847
don't ever leave
i Dec 2014
we are all gonna die,
so just kiss me anytime
and the world is about to end and
there is no time for our broken hearts to mend,
you are stealing my breaths and heart,
where you have the biggest part
and you leave an aching hole,
everytime you reach for the door
and i am once again left alone
with my pitiful thoughts and a broken bone.
Dec 2014 · 2.2k
drunk on you
i Dec 2014
**** you left my lips
black and cold and
unwanted and drunk and
unable to kiss another
teenage boy without still
tasting you on the tip of
my tongue.
Dec 2014 · 841
hold me
i Dec 2014
i'm drowning in self pity,
you're burying me in hatred,
i get drunk on the stars in your eyes,
you're ripping my heart out,
i want to be your favorite girl,
you're giving me devilish smiles,
my legs can't hold me anymore,
and neither can your arms, honey.
Dec 2014 · 987
20/12/14
i Dec 2014
and i'm scared because if
somebody says your name accidentaly
out loud, i swear i'm gonna
explode in screams and storms
and cry myself to death, 'cause
even the sound of your name out of other
person's lips, sounds so beautifully
devine to me, and my skin is sensitive
and still untouched, ready to be burned
by your flaming fingertips,
but what if you never want me to burn?
Dec 2014 · 854
poems for you
i Dec 2014
I hope I stop writing
poems about you when-
you're never gonna read them,
they are a reflection of my thoughts,
my mirror on a paper,
my unexplained feelings towards you,
and so, if you do ever stop
being the inspiration behind my poems
I will stop missing you,
longing for your touch and love,
and oh, how I hope
I‘ll stop losing myself in the
gleam in your eyes.
Dec 2014 · 1.4k
i realized-
i Dec 2014
today I realized that
you haven't left my heart completely,
there is still so much more of
you in there,
I realized love was blind and
not even a thousands poems
will matter to you,
I realized I filled myself
with lies I didn't even believe,
I filled myself with hatred,
I realized I still give a ****
about you, I still think of you
when the night settles,
and no matter how many
playlists I make you and
no matter how many songs
will be written about you,
you will never look at me
the way I look at you,
and I'm sorry it took me
this long to realize
that I'm not worth your time,
no matter how many times
I see you in my eyes,
I realized we will never fit,
we don't match, no matter
how many times I try to
capture your attention
with my cherry lips and
emerald eyes.
i don‘t know if you're worth it,
honey.
Dec 2014 · 805
it was (not) easy
i Dec 2014
it was so easy to love you,
to adore every little bit of your
youthful soul and take bites
of your cherry heart.

it was so easy to give myself to you,
my whole body, forever marked
by your rough yet tender touch.

it was so easy to kiss you,
the edge of your mouth breathing
onto my tongue, getting drunk
on your taste.

but what wasn't easy,
was forgetting you,
forgetting how you used to call
me yours, how you used to kiss
my eyelids, reassuring me that
everything is going to be okay.

it wasn't easy trying not to call you
at 3 am in the morning,
whispering how much I adore
the sound of your velvet voice.

it wasn't easy deleting you from
my poisoned mind, where you
were the only poison,
my deadly sin.

it wasn't easy giving up on you,
because I thought you mattered
more than the stars and you
proved me wrong in the worst way.
Dec 2014 · 1.7k
oh darling
i Dec 2014
it‘s funny you know,

how i need other people to forget about you,

but then they leave and i'm left alone with my thoughts, once again,

and all my thoughts are about you,

so, i guess you could say it‘s just the
two of us, darling.
Dec 2014 · 41.8k
lips to lips
i Dec 2014
when you put your lips
on mine,
that feeling is something
indescribable,
delicate.

and i though i would
get used to that magical feeling.

but as soon as i experienced it,
you were gone,
forever.

and i never tasted your lips again,
or saw your face again,
or heard your voice again.
you were completely gone.

*and i was not prepared for it.
Dec 2014 · 7.4k
red lipstick
i Dec 2014
look at her,
red lipstick smeared on her face.

she is beautiful,
looking like this.

drunk and high,
she is too young.

she messes around,
and soon she will be gone,
just like everybody else.
no point to this,
Dec 2014 · 875
here and now
i Dec 2014
do it, do it, do it, do it
she chanted to herself
as she looked down from the high cliff
her eyes focusing on the loud waves of the dark blue sea.

she took little steps
and got closer to the edge of the cliff,
her death.

she wouldn't admit it,
but she was scared.

she took in the view before her,
her blue eyes shining with joy for the last time,
as she lifted her arms and spread them.

the light breeze tickled her skin,
and blew her black hair from her face
and she took one last breath,
taking the final step off that cliff.

and for the first time,
she felt *free
.
easy floating in the air,
flying.

soon enough,
her flying body
would be greeted with rocks that
will break her bones to pieces,
and she'll stay broken,
just how she wanted to.
Dec 2014 · 1.3k
desperate pleas
i Dec 2014
i've been seeing
you far more
often in my
sleep, than
on the sidewalk,
where we exchange
awkward glances
and silence our
desperate pleas
of love and affection
with some liquor
and a little smoke.
Dec 2014 · 980
my heaven
i Dec 2014
i'd be lying
if i said i didn't
know the reason
behind the cigarette
hanging from my dry lips.

we all know it's *you.
Dec 2014 · 1.5k
i'm sorry
i Dec 2014
i'm sorry,
i'm just really sorry
for chasing you
and holding your hand
when you turn away
and for hugging you
from behind when
you don't even want me.

*i'm sorry//
Dec 2014 · 1.2k
the rain and the sun
i Dec 2014
but she brought the rain
and clouds and storm
and thunder.

and all he brought was
the sun, and it outshined
her completely.

after all, everyone liked
the sun and
no one liked the rain.
Dec 2014 · 5.0k
mesmerized.
i Dec 2014
i wanna get lost in
your chocolate eyes,
and extinguish my hunger with
*your vanilla lips.
Dec 2014 · 950
maybe
i Dec 2014
then again,
maybe i‘m just insane
for thinking
you can look
at me with the
same eyes I look
at you.
Dec 2014 · 2.3k
my nicotine
i Dec 2014
you are the smell after a
morning rain,

you are the blood rushing
through my veins.
Dec 2014 · 1.8k
sweet death (10w)
i Dec 2014
and i die with the thought of seeing you again.
Dec 2014 · 1.4k
pretty enough
i Dec 2014
i wanna be pretty for you,
even when
my mascara runs
down my cheeks
and my lipstick
is smeared and
when my hair is tangled
and when my eyes are
bloodshot and
i'm drunk out of my mind
and calling for you,
mumbling and screaming your
name at the top of
my lungs and when
i smoke my first cigarette
and the smoke that comes out
of my mouth looks so much
like you and the nicotine
runs through my veins
and the smoke clogs my lungs
just like you did
and when i look
in the bathroom mirror,
and i see you in my eyes
and i start crying
even though i hate crying
over you and i just wanna
be pretty enough for you, love.
Dec 2014 · 1.8k
i saw you in my eyes
i Dec 2014
and for the first time
this morning,
as i saw my unwanted
reflection in the mirror,
i saw you in my eyes,
on my lips, on my collarbone,
you were all over my face,
your smile shining in my pupils,
your face forever in my mind.

*oh god, what have you done to me?
Dec 2014 · 6.0k
outer space
i Dec 2014
you are the universe
and i'm not even a star,
your eyes like galaxies,
i'm completely lost.
Dec 2014 · 1.5k
wonderful tuesday nights
i Dec 2014
and that tuesday night,
i didn't expect much,
i thought it would all
go down in falmes,
but it turned out
to go up in the sky,
and as i felt your eyes
on me, i looked up
and smiled at the stars
for having you next to me,
where you are supposed to be
and to be so fortunate,
so privileged to have your eyes
on me, so lucky to have
met your eyes and seen your smile,
because it is the most beautiful
thing i have ever seen, baby.
Nov 2014 · 3.5k
electricity
i Nov 2014
and i just wanna feel
your hand on my thigh,
and your lips on my neck,
and your love in my bones.
Nov 2014 · 837
to m.
i Nov 2014
i'm sad with you,
i'm sad without you,
and i get so confused
when you look at me
with those eyes, where
all i can see are
endless galaxies,
shining stars,
midnight skies
and myself.
Nov 2014 · 3.9k
bleeding lip
i Nov 2014
and i keep licking my lips
and biting my tongue,
hoping i can remove your
taste that you left behind
and replace it with
bitterness and cheap whiskey.
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