My body is just as exhausted
as my mind, at the moment
I did this to myself
and I'd do it all again.

Walked miles and miles
for a lost cause,
for my fragile pride,
for days long left behind.

A hammer continuosly hits my skull,
I'm being aggressively whipped inside
by the consumption of my own beer,
by the consequences of my own night.

The sun shone above the clouds,
my mind was razor-sharp like shark's teeth,
my hands were shaking like I was cold
at nearly 81 degrees.
The sun shone above the clouds,
my body spasmed, covered in sweat,
my legs trembled as I checked around
searching for any bottles left.
The sun still shone above the clouds
as I showered, drank coffee and left the house
looking for whatever distraction I could find,
ended up drunk at a parking lot.

You are all the things
That are wrong with you
It's not the alcohol
Or the drugs
It's you, alright?
It's. You.

One more word, and I'll blow up.
One more day, and I'll grow up.
One more drink, and I'll throw up.
One more week, and I'll give up..

But words don't have to be said-,
Growing is an ongoing process,
Drinks don't have to be alcohol,
And help is easily available.

1-888-299-1188

I think there's something missing
An empty space within my brain
Is it genetics or experience?
Most likely a mix of both
It seems I only feel whole
When my blood is filled with drugs
Energetic electricity
Flowing through my limbs
Substances fill the void
The emptiness I can't stand
I wish I was more than this
Or simply nothing at all
I want to fade into the night
Float away slowly like this high
And instead of returning to humanity
I'll let the wind carry me home

Cocktail
Cockfail

You’re drunk again

Mixed drink
Mixed emotions

Try thinking sober

Multiple shots
Multiple plots

You keep ordering

Pitcher perfect
Picture perfect

From drunk eyes

Hungover again
Hungover pain

Still same problems

Alcohol calls
Alcohol falls

Your name again

You answer
You catch

Maintaining the pattern

Alone, afraid
Alone, unsafe

Numb the pain

You feel
You need

But you don’t

Your week
You’re weak

Put the bottle

Down now
Move on

Overcome the pain

Don’t count
Don’t love

Your buzz more

Than yourself
Than health

You got this

You can
You will

If you try


Angry sober
Happy buzzed

Sad when drunk

Regretful after
Disappointed after

But then you

Drink more
Drink none

Break the pattern

Brown bottles filled with hops
It seems to be the only physical evidence left
Eleven sit on my bedside table
Ten you finished, one I couldn't, and one unopened
The smell of you is gone from my clothes
Gone from the blanket I hope kept you warm
I still feel your hand on my thigh
Your deep laugh vibrating against my chest
Your hair between my fingers
For now the only thing I can hold between my hands
Is a beer bottle gone stale
But every time I look down at my cold hands
I remember how warm they felt holding you