Alvira 36m

the flower is wilting, bending
falling under the weight of the world
it's breaking, crumbling,
but it's forgotten as its tread on

perhaps they didn't see it,
perhaps they didn't care,
but the flower is dying,
slowly, slowly,
waiting for the final petal
to fall and claim its life

recently started studying poetry in college, this is just a test.

Wait wait and waiting
All hope seems like they're fading
It's just me and the night
And this thought wondering why
All through the night
All through the night

I'm not asleep but not entire awake
But what difference does it make
Whether you're drunk or you're sober
Doesn't change the fact it's over
I turned to my right hoping to see you under the covers
But you weren't there
Right, you were never there
Not anymore
I guess it's fair, but I just can't bear
Losing you so suddenly
I can't sleep
And I need you here with me
Be there for me
Even if I was never there for you

I guess that's true
And I'm sorry for that
You never realized what you had
Until it's gone just like that

And now you're gone gone gone away
Even before I got to say
That I love you, baby
And it's driving me crazy
All these regrets
Why can't I forget
It's messing with my head
Why is life always so cruel
Especially to angels like you
But there's nothing I can do

Kaia 7h

I want to lie in my bed
And never wake up again
These voices in my head
Talk but never listen
I feel my body shiver
From all the screams I hold inside
There’s no more motivation
But I want to live, not just survive

I can sense the tears he cries
And feel the pain he tries biting down
I’m powerless to help him
So I cry too and watch him drown
He’s everything I am inside
And as he suffers from the pain
I’m too cowardly to tell him
That I am just the same

Does he feel the same electric pulse?
Does he also want to die?
Does he close his door at night
So that no one sees him cry?
He won’t admit to anyone
He thinks he hides it well
Maybe I am just like him
Maybe everyone can tell

Svode 9h

Wake wake wake wake wake
confront confront confront confront
talk talk talk
ask ask
ponder

Wake wake wake wake wake
beg beg beg beg
think think think
contemplate contemplate
act

Wake wake wake wake wake
decide decide decide decide
tie tie tie
write write
regret

I feel so tired,
I feel so lost.
Give my heart time to defrost.
I'm on the edge,
I've broken down.
I'll never get back up,
I'm going to drown.
We're left to think of an escape
As if the cut is a minor scrape.
Where do we find a cure?
I know people care,
I'm sure.
And if those were the last things I ever heard,
would you care to reword?
What if I was gone tomorrow?
Would you drink to drown your sorrows?
Those last words, what a shame.
Aren't you to blame?
If I can't find my way
If my path has gone astray,
Then whose to say I'll get out safe.
Hidden from my gaze
their words ring in a haze.
"We're here to help,
We're here to save.
Drop the knife,
Please be brave.
Please drop the gun,
They haven't won.
We want the best,
We want a smile.
You know that thing's been gone a while."
Just tell me it's alright,
Only for tonight.
My way out has been delayed,
Honestly I'm afraid.
Who's going to save me now?
And if those were the last things I ever heard,
Would you care to reword?
What if I was gone tomorrow?
Would you drink to drown your sorrows?
Those last words,
What a shame.
Aren't you to blame?
Aren't you to blame?
What a shame.
I'm gonna be gone tomorrow,
Please don't hold your sorry.
Those last words were just a game.
Maybe you won,
Maybe you're to blame.

I remember this time. I remember this feeling. Written in 2012.
Ember 13h

Its been rough lately, real rough.
My head's been messy, real messy.
Swarming with thoughts of suicide and death.
Swarming like bees,
Each of their stingers drags a new slice into my thigh as I lay in my bathtub.

Its been rough lately, real rough.
My mind has been dark, real dark.
My chest seems to have trouble rising and falling as the wall of anxiety hits.
At this point I don't care if the next cycle of rising and falling is my last.

It's been rough lately, real rough
My brain has been, real sad.
My hands shake and twitch like my depression is trying to force them into doing something they shouldn't.
My body heaves with dry sobs.

I don't want to die but it wouldn't matter if I did.

Its been a bad brain month. Hope it gets better
haley 15h

I was once told
the brightest burn the quickest,
that only the good die young.
As if this is okay.
As if this is the new normal.

If they were good
they wouldn't be lying 72 inches
below our feet.
They would be here
beside us in class,
on the field,
in the band.

If they were good
death would have never
been an option.
But hear me now.
They were not good.
They were
Troubled.

It is not their fault.
They are victim to a disease that creeps
into every corner of their brain,
that trembles into every nerve,
until they are
Numb.

The lack of sensation or feeling
of hope,
of living,
of love,
of purpose.

They felt nothing of worth.
Because when you strip
someone of their identity,
you leave nothing
to hang on to
except nooses tied
around shaking necks
With last words
That will never be heard.

I look up to you,
From this humble earth,
The distance between us ever-growing,
My heart increasing in pulse.

I let the days pass by,
Waiting for the nights,
So I can see you my dearest,
Shining bright.

I have found my clearest moment,
Where all reason and logic flew away,
All that is remaining,
Is a pain that eats away.

So I walk to the cliff,
Staring at you, my dearest star,
The wind gives me the final push,
And I fall, fall, fall..

My sight never leaves you,
This is the happiest I have ever been,
I want you to look at me forever,
As I find the gesture bittersweet.

I don't want to be this way,
I don't want to lose you as my friend,
please come with me, come with me,
Are you feeling me, filling me,
{that was gay sorry}
In school they called me names,
so I want to end it all,
I walk alone in the rain,
I walk alone on my way home,
I want to burn everything down,
I don't want to have this frown,
I bought a gun, but I can't shoot myself,
because I didn't buy any bullets,
I abuse myself....with drugs and alcohol,
but there is no one to tell me,
"What you do is wrong",
I don't even have a place to call my own,
because I am so lonely,
Please come with me,
don't leave me alone.

This is a mistake...
Laura 1d

I knew that they couldn't possibly understand
why I was taking this climb
knew that in a thousand words
I could not explain to them
what would possess someone to jump
to want to fall
so I left no note
and I began my climb
I was intent
oh, so intent
and ready to throw myself to the murky water below
only
when I found myself at the top
I realized I like it that way
being on top
I didn't want to become
another fallen angel
a meteor hurtling towards the earth
no intent but to reach
the ground
to let gravity pull me down
I didn't want to let gravity pull me down
I didn't want to let anything pull me down
I wanted to stay there forever
stuck in that moment
alone, but content
so, so above
I don't need to jump
I am already flying

Note: This is written in a different point of view than my own. I have never attempted suicide
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