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Bexis 48m
It seems to always come to this.
Crying at night, multiple showers.
Getting dressed and leaving at night.

I keep missing the mark.
How do I not see it?
Things are worse then they have ever been.
I feel like I should just leave.

I don't know anymore.
I don't know anything.
Maybe I'm not cut out for this.
Maybe I'll die like this.

I should give up because it is easy.
I don't do well with hard work.  
If I do, you will know you weren't worth it.
You are, maybe just not me.

I just want to die.
Get life over with.
If I do, maybe you can find somebody new.
Let's hope you do.
my brain and my mind
separate my soul and its role
make me look and it took
every chance or significance
I ask or I mask
to decide the inside
flavor or fervor
compare or contrast
order or ardor
the first or the last
wrong or strong
right or tight
completed or depleted
shaded or faded
feeling or failing
painting or fainting
listen or christen
sarcasm or orgasm
sore or soar
less or more
to live or to leave
to die or to try
white silver bullets
barrage the trees and the roof
in chaotic sound
despite our defense constructs
it always ends to the ground
The most heartbreaking sound is someone’s voice cracking before they break down in tears.
Do you agree?
Brooke P 10h
I got drunk with your ghost last night.
Our demons were in attendance,
and we played stupid games
like Edward 40-hands
and cheers to the governor.
We stuffed our faces
with your namesake and
I tripped over your shoes
and fell face-first into the concrete
that lines the bottom of your garage.
I put a nice gash
in my right knee,
just like our college days.
I watched the blood poor out
as they all laughed
at my clumsy tendencies.

But you cleaned me up
that oozing cut,
and you told me everyone around you
was a sham
and wouldn't care if you drove
yourself off the road
but what you didn't know
was that when I woke up
and you weren't there
I was screaming out
that I could have
done something.
It cannot be described
only imbibed
through many sorrows
and sorries
until the pain
recedes to numbness
your compass
points to death
& you see the peace it brings
the silence
the darkness
you make your mind up
maybe not today
or tomorrow
but you know
you're going to die by your own hand
& you feel
just a brief
fleeting
happiness

...

that's the sound of suicide
Not in a good headspace right now. Thank you for your concerns, I just needed to vent this.
Vivek 17h
Is it so bad?
That it makes you so sad!
One day it'll all be alright!
Sun will shine Bright!
In darkness of the night!
You'll find a light!
Everyone goes through this motion!
But every problem got a solution!
There's still a hope!
You can use a rope!
Not on your neck!
What the heck?
Use it to climb up the mountain of nightmare!
At Least Think about the people that actually care!

-Vivek!
h m w 17h
You are a memory.
Soon we all will be too.
We are running on a thin timeline
Of brokenness and raw emotion.
You ask me, ‘are you okay?’
And I can’t say shit because it’s too hard on my voice ,
And too hard on my mind to figure out what these feelings are.
When I wake up nothing feels right,
My heart feels a certain way I can’t explain,
It’s too much.
I count,
One.
Two.
Three.
Breathe.
Because my therapist tells me that taking deep breaths lessens the anxiety
Of everyday life
Because everyday life
Is too much for my mind to handle.
My body keeps telling me ‘stop.’
Because physically I crave dangers.
I can’t relapse,
I can’t quit this,
But then again you quit me.
So what’s the issue if I quit me too.
I looked in the mirror this morning when I woke up
And I couldn’t stop,
I couldn’t stop the crying,
The racing heart,
The hate,
The pain.
We all get through and go through shit,
We all have different techniques of making the hurt,
Hurt less.
I can not be fixed,
I am sorry for being me.
I am lost,
A void of emptiness.
Absent of emotion and love,
Thanks to you,
I’m  just a memory now too.

hmw
Alex 18h
She gets up from her bed,
Her demons in her head.

Last day, last day, last day.

She brushes her teeth slowly,
Knowing she is forever lonely.

Last day, last day, last day.

She stumbles through her classes,
Going no faster than molasses.

Last day, last day, last day.

Her bullies and fears,
Forces her to hide with her tears.

Last day, last day, last day

She pulls out a knife,
Knowing she had one last strife.

Last day, last day, last day

She closes her eyes,
And whispers no louder than a sigh.

Last try

Goodbye.
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