In my dream that I love and hate to recall-
The sky is made of amethyst,
and you’re dancing in a metal kitchen,
laughing, telling me
that God is a handsome blonde guy.

Your last miracle
was making spring come sooner.
And I love you for that.

Memory of the first time I saw your smile,
Now ocasionally sneaks out of my eyes
and rolls down my cheek

I used to trip over our memories,
breaking a bone or three,
but now I just crack open windows,
let the air in,
Finally accepting to live with divorce and sunset.

Your voice notes expired
long before I was ready.
The realization settles first
beneath my lungs,
then crawls up my throat
before sinking into my coffee.

I miss you,
but I won’t ask you to come back anymore.
I finally understand.
Goodbye, my friend.
Be free.

i can never tell why i’m crying, cause one second I’m so sad and then the next I’m smiling we’ll tears are streaming down my face. I’ve never cried out of joy so I think, but I cry every day. Some of it has to be out of joy right cause I’m sad and then I’m happy and I’m sad again and i want to die so I sleep because it’s like dying but not because i don’t want to, but do and that’s the closest i’ll get

.
                                   Where'd it go wrong with you?

I never thought I would end up so broken,
from such a beautiful face.
End up so lost,
from a beaming smile,
but you proved me wrong.

My breath shortened,
as you look fine.
I wish I never met you,
or that we stayed together.

The universe is breaking me,
every time it takes away the people I love.
I know it doesn't care,
maybe i'll learn a lesson from them,
but not you.

I thought we were soulmates,
but the person I held so dear,
has now left me alone,
with my broken thoughts.
A place I should never be left alone in.

I wish you stayed,
but I can't decide that.
Clearly you don't mind if i'm gone,
just like many others.
Because you left,
I'm considering many things,
things I can't say,
without crying for the people i'll leave alone,
if I forever go quiet.

So please,
before I go,
tell me,
                                          Where'd it all go wrong?

I've got monsters in my head
They say they want my life to end
I fight back, I call them enemies
But sometimes they're my allies
We share the same thoughts
Hold the same point of view
I should really call them friend
They remind me of my mistakes
They say it's the biggest part of me
I fight them on the outside
But inwardly I admit
I wholeheartedly agree
My monster friends are so kind
they offer a solution to my problem
They suggest I end it all
They give me means to do so
And assure me it's for the best
They tell me repeatedly no-one else will mind

For many years,
you were mine,
and I was yours.
We were free,
we were happy staying friends.
Though we yearned for more.

I thought it would last forever,
I was ready to confess.

But, you left.
You went to a place I can never reach.

Every time I think of those precious memories,
I break.
Because you were my world,
and will always be a part of it.

Because you weren't only my friend.
You were my family,
the place I called home.

You were my soulmate.

I have dealt with many things,
but to you I am just dramatic,
a lier even.
Whenever I open my heart,
you shove it into a box,
making it harder every time.

"I'm Depressed"
I finally tell you,
seeking comfort in your words,
even though they scare me further.

But, you let me down,
you told me the words I feared the most.
                  "Your just a teenager, you don't know what that means"

Then, what's wrong with me?
Why do I dream of jumping off,
of never coming back.

Maybe I'm just being a teen,
or maybe that's just a lie.

You say you’d cry,                
If my eyes went dark
Say your world will die
If death makes its mark—

On me, your child, I swear,
To watch you from above– wiping your tears
The cause for my fate— you would not bare
I apologize for endorsing your fears


Don’t worry, don’t cry
It’s not time to say goodbye
I promise to try
But please, don’t rely—

On an Oath, so hollow
So easy to break
But still I beg you, do not follow—
For joining me will not heal your ache