I have endured through the shadows of despair,
chronicling the haunting spectre of suicide,
Each word a desperate attempt to vanquish
her insidious thoughts, that creep back into
my mind.

As long as I draw breath - I live to write,
and write more so, to stay alive.

As the searing, ashen smoke erupts violently from
its flaring nostrils, it envelops me in a suffocating
Embrace, each inhalation a cruel reminder of the
scalding heat that sears my delicate skin.

I am crushed beneath the weight of its colossal hooves,
like a forgotten stone lost in the depths of a murky,
Unyielding puddle — its foreboding silhouette, crowned
with a mane as dark as the abyss, gallops through the
Labyrinth of my thoughts, casting a chilling shadow that
clings to me, a relentless spectre that whispers of doom.

This creature, a true harbinger of death, exudes a frigid,
acrid scent of regrets that seem to claw at the very core
Of my existence — night after night, my dreams are invaded
by tormenting visions, vivid and unyielding, mapping out
the grim path to my own funeral – a foul stench; chilling
reminder of cold regrets that claw at my very last breath.

I see a pristine white coffin, adorned with stark white
blooms, marred by the crimson stains from my own wrists.
And amidst these agonizing dreams, the ominous beast
stands tall, solemnly bearing the weight of my coffin towards
An unknown afterlife, a spectral horse of death draped in
the deepest shadows, embodying the very essence of my
self-inflicted demise.

People tell me to KYS.
Maybe it stands for **** Yourself.
But maybe they mean
Keep Yourself Safe.

I didn't realize it was raining until my clothes were soaked.
A dense fog abruptly concealed everything around me.
Apathy is a thief of reason.
It's easy to forget why we stay.
Instead, I ask what I'd miss.
The warmth of the sun on my face.
The sound of the ocean hitting the shoreline.
My best friend's laugh.
My cat purring.
The mountains.
Late-night drives.
Blue eyes.
Music.
Trees.
Fleeting moments that we take for granted.
The rain will stop and my clothes will dry.
The fog will dissipate.
And I will choose to stay.

The air escapes me—

As darkness envelops the night,
I shut my eyes, haunted by
The vision
Of ropes
Swaying from the ceiling
      Above.

With each glance,
A constriction
Tightens
Around my throat, a
Chilling
Reminder of
despair.

“What echoes in the void of a gun's chamber, poised at the head”
– the silencing of their countless voices howling within.
“What are the last words of a crimson blade caressing one’s throat”
– a haunting cutaway to a life now severed.
“What feeling envelops a lifeless body sprawled upon the floor”
– nothing but cold.

Does one merely attempt to compose their own funeral songs
– or weep a solitary tear for their own end, blinding themselves to
the haunting shadows of regret that herald their own downfall?
Does a fish, in a frantic bid for survival, strive to weep itself back
into existence, the moment it leaps from the depths, only to find
itself stranded? Are you familiar with the image of love's belly,
once alive with butterflies, now a dead man ensnared in a net?

The haunting questions of suicide linger like a ghostly whisper.
Can the choice to surrender to death ever truly unveil the answers
we seek? Do the celestial realms bear witness to our torment, or do
the infernal fires rejoice, growing ever fiercer with each soul they
claim?

Alas, it is only the departed who possess the knowledge of such
truths, and I shudder at the thought of being the one to unveil
such an answer myself...

Born
Into a world
Of trauma

Things continue
To go downhill
Every single year
Of my life

They keep getting
WORSE
With only small snipits
Of being alright
Just enough to keep me
Hopeful and alive

But whats it all for
When life throws me out
Onto the floor
And continues to pour
My hopes
My dreams
My love
My sanity
Right down the drain

Worse
WOrse
WORse
WORSe
And WORSE

Fetch me from this place
Keep me eternally safe

Let me live in your arms
Please be my personal escape

I cannot face life
For the life I want
And possibly need
Is one where
My effort is required no more

Please
Goodbye
Please
Lie
Please
Let
Me
Go
And
Die
Peaceful­ly
Within
Your
Arms
In
A
Bed
Of
Your
Love
Before
I
Get
WORSE

LOVED?
I knew someone,
As far as I knew.
Knew him till none,
But my love was true.

He had humour, he was silly,
He was like me; he was just me.
We shared our joys, shared our sorrows,
We had our today, dreamt of tomorrows.

But then, I saw the lies,
They pierced my heart like knives.
I hated him more each day,
I wished he’d go away.

His presence haunted me,
His guilt engulfed me.
He needs to go, go far,
But he can’t leave,
I am him.

Standing on the edge,
Step on the ledge,
Leaned to the front,
Skipped to the front,
Falling from the sky,
Falling onto die.

As I fell down, I realised,
He is human, he can change,
Maybe he can heal himself,
Maybe I would love him, again.
But as I fell down, I realised,
All that gone now, all in vain
And we laid down, with no pain.