In the darkness
of an empty room,
I cry in the corner
seeing visions of you.

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

As I lay in the dark
of a nice warm bath.
Planning how to take my life away,
I breathe in deeply
drift beneath the water
Until I struggle to breathe
That is when visions of you
resurrect me.

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

Kneeling in the shower
praying to a God
that doesn't exist.
Don't know the difference
between reality and make believe.
As I look towards the shower head
I still can't see.
These scars that cover me
may need rebandaging.
He's a lost cause,
an abomination.
He's a disgrace
to the human race.
We've been here before
I'm all alone, in this empty room,
Crying in the corner
seeing visions of you

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

Oh, I've lost myself
everything makes no sense.
I think about the time
you said that you'd be there,
I'm not sure you even cared.
But your smile saved my life
a million times before.
I'm in need of you,
but this time you're gone.
Not sure I will survive anymore.
As I kneel in the shower
praying to a God that doesn't exist,
This razor penetrates my skin.
The blood trickles down the drain,
He falls to the floor,
crucified he cried
Crucify me tonight.

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

Oh! My star has fallen tonight,
If they were there,
he might still be alive
every night,
he died a little more inside,
my star has fallen tonight

As I lay in the darkness
of an empty room
staring at the ceiling
seeing visions of you
I see your smile
it puts my mind at rest
I fall asleep
knowing I truly was blessed.

©2017 Written By Benji James

lost Sunday
i travelled light
on Cemetery Rd.
flinching
at every sound
in the whistling oaks
coming after me
i was sick
but i didn't know
hushed by the fire
on the horizon
and the footsteps
at my back
on crystal snow
believe me
i was sick
i was a drunken punk
in the soy fields
sleeping giant
in a ring of salt

Quinn 6d

Next time you’re alone
Watch over your shoulder
I’m hovering, haunting you
When you killed the best of me,
I swore to kill all of you
Tick tock, tick tock
Here I come
Time is running out
Save yourself
Before the clock strikes one
Tick tock, tick tock
Your time is up
Get down and pray
For your miserable soul

Pagan Paul May 16

I see the Ghost again.
He visits every night.
Keeping to the shadows.
A cold chill menace.
Though he watches me,
his head remains bowed.
The stare is penetrating.
His mind is accusing.
I know he hates me.
I feel the total disgust.
The bile tastes foul,
and the pain is searing.
I know.
Because he is me.
And I am haunting myself.


© Pagan Paul (06/10/16)

.
Amber Curtis May 16

Do you know how it feels to want to speak, but no words will come out?
I try to talk to you, but when I think of what to say, my stomach turns,
I don't want to hurt you with my words, so I keep them buried.
They are buried so far in my throat, but they are floating in my mind.
These words are haunting me, and I can't get them out to anybody.
You ask 'Why won't you talk to me?' and I say 'I don't know'
Because I don't, but you won't believe me anyway.
I think of the perfect things to say, and then I keep thinking
About what your reaction will be,
About what you will say back to me.
Would you still love me the same if you knew my mind like I do?
I don't think so.

Engeli Apr 27

i'm writing this in between
                after that bad bad dream
                    it felt like I was nailed up
                        as I struggled to wake up

                                          my body paralyzed in bed
                                                    i couldn't help but dread
                                                          as cold wind touched my nape
                                                            my vellus hair stood up straight

that sense of eerie crippled my core
                                                              as i felt his coming to my door
                                                then i heard some little footsteps
                                          and creaking at the hinges

i clasped my body so tightly
                          as i saw death coming to me slowly
                    my brain searched for that nerve
          to shake up my senses to leave

i felt my leg made a kick
                  then, I stood up pretty quick
                      my heart agitated
                              as i grasped one deep breath
then, i stood up pretty quick
my heart agitates
as i grasped one deep breath

I remember every single bitter goodbye I've ever had to say. Left alone here in this town, though I was never forced to stay.

There are ghosts I've left behind me and there are ghosts that still remain. I can feel their haunting presence every single stupid day.

How they tear at all my motives and pull on every string. Leave me choking on my failures. The whispered voice of muted things.

Am I just some bitter tourist dragged by my wrists through private hells? Am I author and conspirator writing the stories in which I dwell?

To what extent am I  responsible for this situation that I'm in? Am I really as alone as I have always thought myself to have been?

There is little I am sure of and fewer still of which I know, but I know that I am dying and that I'm still not ready to go.

I have unfinished business. I just thought that you should know.

the heaviness fades,
but all the scars linger on,
latching onto me

20170409, rkc
prompted by writeaboutnow day 2
TraceyLeigh Apr 6

Ego was stripped from skin
in layers until the trail of tears
was no longer visible to the blind
eye

Monks chant in the distance
as souls dance to the melancholy;
strength of the limb is tested
...wearing Sunday's best

Frayed rope is placed on ivory
rough against the delicate truth
only to be choked before it could be heard

Lover be damned; pained eyes meet
the noose being tightened by hands
that once cupped the breast of the Mother
...betrayal found in man's milk

Foundation is kicked away in one swift
motion; crushing the pathway of life
swaying with eyes wide open

Ego killed the delicate that day
a day of broken promises; dreams
forever became a lie, the lie truth

Delicate is still here in the shadows
swaying between trees in an eternal
dance in Sunday's dress
...waiting for the neck to fully break

Haunting Ego's chance~

SATAN'S GIRL Mar 28
Why

My past always finds
a way to drag me down
it sinks into my mind
during the worst times
why do you haunt me, always?
When I finally think
yeah, I'm over things,
a new memory appears
and hurts me.

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