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Àŧùl May 9
I met a friendly woman at the college,
She sat in the entrance gallery west of the labs.
I said, "Hello, may I know your identity," with a smile,
And her lips spread to a mile.
She said, "Hello, I'm here on my job,"
Little did I know that blowing was her job.

Anyway, I started telling her about myself,
And as a loner with an infrequent *****,
I respect and I know myself a lot.

When she sat in rapt attention for me,
Listening to my breath between the words,
And my gaze often slid down her face.

There they sat elegantly and imposingly,
Two cute babies, a picture of them, actually,
In a picture printed on the ***** of her shirt,
And I asked about them curiously.

She said, "They are my nephew and niece,"
"Both are twins and each weighs 7 kilograms,"
And looked for validation, "Aren't they both so nice?"

I nodded in agreement saying, "Definitely,"
And I continued, "I want to play with them both."

She said, "I know that you fell in love with them,"
Now she continued with another broad smile,
"You are welcome to play with both of them,"

I asked, "Are they with you?"
She laughed shortly and said,
"They always remain with me."

Puzzled, I said, "What?"
My jaw remained hung open in astonishment.

She put her finger under my chin,
Then shut my mouth to say,
"Don't act like an innocent kid,"
And she continued,
"I like you, and I want you,
Come in the morning,
We'll have a lot of fun,
And I'll blow my favourite toy,
Before both of us go for a movie."
My HP Poem #1967
©Atul Kaushal
Jeremy Betts Apr 5
A brain like mine, the brain of an addict, can justify anything
Drumming up excuses that defy reasoning
Connecting dots with miles of red string
Coming to conclusions that are baffling
"The problem was this here faulty Icarus wing"
"Setting me up for failure back when I was seventeen"
Not the fact of the constant nosediving
Bracing for impact, the anticipations paralyzing
It was easier to hide it in the begining
Can't hide it now, so let's call it ageing
The lack of a fatal crash is a bit puzzling
No complaining
It's just surprising
Kinda thought I'd be death defying
'Till I became stuck in the sky flying high,
Ignoring every warning
Didn't think it possible to hit the ground running
But now I'm panicking
I didn't plan for a second half, that fact is terrifying
Far scarier than any thought of dying
I wish I was lying

Heavy Hearted Jan 20
Here I sit
In this basement of
some other house
In the core of the city-
I'm almost on my own...
This January's night
Flashes frozen-
As I adicite, light
I see all that I've chosen:

perturbation, and frustration,
Entwine in all my fascination
Stinging- they whip my body &
paint on lacerations

What you've chosen I cannot see
And the light I catch redefines me
Shadows ignite
That December's day
Reminds me I'm not alone.
In the outskirts of Toronto-
In my Parents home-
My room, my bed - my life's in
The basement

its there; I cry.
A ustin
L ucie
O verwhelming
N othingness
E ncapsulates
She hears muffled cries of her children
The sight of her children’s pain is blurred
Her voice bubbles when she speaks
Her hands sink deeper when she attempts to help
Her sobriety only lasts for a blink of an eye.
Is she a mother?

His lungs are full when his children’s belly grow empty
His children are lost behind his toxic exhale
His presence robs his children’s pockets
His absence fills their hearts with misery
Is he a father?

Her scars don’t itch when soaked  in ***
But her children drown with them
His fears can’t grow behind the  vapour
But he himself can’t breath neither
Her dreams are shattered
His heart is weary
Their children are cut from their bruised hands
SquidInk Sep 2023
dr!nking, sm0king, v@ping
to stop myself from breaking
my mind is in denial
of the toll that this is taking
this isn’t who i want to be
this person that i’m shaping
this version isn’t who i am
the monster i’m creating
my mind is somewhere in the clouds
my dreams are quickly fading
i need to take care of myself
but death is sat there waiting

if i sleep the day away
my world might just stop shaking
but no amount of sleep could ever
fix this kind of aching
Shevek Appleyard Jun 2020
I scowl at you
Nibbling tomorrow’s mistakes
You catch me watching, eyes accused
But I know you’re ready to paint the whole night blue
Slurring apologies and blurring memories
You stumble out promises and throw up on them
You cry into the night and in the morning it’s not yours
It’s my problem

I call in defence for myself
I can’t help
I wipe away your essence
Even the shards I hold pleasant
I tear and delete
Angry at how  
I need more than myself now
To feel complete

Falling into pages of how I felt
But I don’t know how I feel
I don’t know what was real
It’s scariest to focus on further
When all you did was forget

Pitied partings and ***, held in regret
My open heart left no respect
Nexus Apr 2022
I wake up wet and cold at 4AM
So I look in my ashtray for the biggest joint end.
I smoke what's left and lay back for two secs...
Next I check the grinder for any remaining specks.
I bang out all that I can and roll a splith with trembling hands.

As smoke enters my lungs, a tear fills my eye.
Exhaling all hope I begin cry.

I do this to myself with no happiness in life.
I can't control myself this has become my life.
I often ask myself what I want from life.
And find myself wishing that I wasn't alive.
Drug addiction affect everyone differently.
i hate being sober when you're not around
sometimes I question my sobriety
even in the absence
of such distant memories
were they real
or just nightmares and daydreams

now I'm turning 20
and you're not here
i hate being sober
i know on my birthday
I'll just be invisible to you
i hate being sober
i want to turn back time
i hate being sober
i want to be able to see the warning sign
the sign i missed
it was red
like the blood i would bleed for you
but yet we move
i thrive without you
somehow i manage

still, i must confess
i miss you
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