I know

I know you haven't said it , but I can see it in your eyes , you don't have the heart to tell me , but I know the fires died
The smile that used to melt my heart seems forced and burdensome
You built a wall between us I can't help but know we're done.
You no longer get excited , or want to be with me , seems all you do is think of reasons , of why we just can't be .
Even the simple little things , to you , seem now a chore , it's becoming obvious to me , you don't want "us" anymore .
It's such a helpless feeling , knowing our dreams are no longer the same , it breaks my heart to see the love in your eyes has waned.
I've no choice but to walk away , I have to let you go , even though I gave you my heart so very long ago.

Burn me once;
Shame on you

Burn me twice;
Shame on me

Burn me three times;
I build an impenetrable fortress around my heart

I say I deserve better,
And I know it’s true.
But if I believe it,
Why do I keep coming back to you?

I say that I am special,
And I know I’m worth more.
But if I know,
Than what am I fighting for?

I said this is the last time,
This is the end.
But if it’s over,
Why am I back here again?

You sow haze in your own heart
You draw a tear on my cheek
It smooches its lyrical details
Your thirst steals a kiss from my lips
I water your greedy hubris
And while you savor love out of my wounds
I reap the pieces of my sine qua non
Fellows sail away as boats
So, I flow to them as a wave
When I reach your shore, I feel so lonely, my friend
As a night light, left in the corner of the sea
So, I throw my building from the seventh sky
And I fall in a pool, full of comfy stranger arms
Splash! Social suicide
I’m not a human, not a friendly animal
When everything disappears, my words become swords
Smashing every evil whisper
Easing the raging storm of thoughts
O sweet perdition, my beloved addiction
You are my purgatory, my paradise

Thank you for taking the time to read my first poem on this site. Any feedback would be appreciated.

Sometimes I wish
That when a heart breaks
It comes with a very loud sound
Like the Twin Towers crashing
Or a ceremonial song
Banging your eardrums
You forget why your heart broke
In the first place

Instead
It comes with heavy sighs
And jittery knees
Silent tears like spring beneath the ground
Closed eyes or blinding lights
And blankets to cover it with
Silent and unfathomable
Making it even harder to face.

2017 ending and heart still breaking.
nobyelse 20h

S T O P
in big, bold letters,
i wrote
just to exhale it out of my nose
H E L P
i cried
just to make the advices pass through my ear
and out of the other
i'm being sappy,
but most of all, unhappy.
from my bed i rose,
checking my phone that was on top
of a pile of dirty clothes

Read 13:25

He doesn't like me,
not even close.

Once again I am here alone
Struggling to pick up the pieces
Of a heart that’s been broken
One too many times

How do I put myself back together
When a piece gets left
With every person
That has left me behind

There is this girl
The girl who is genius as hell
The girl who is humble
The girl who thinks low about herself
The girl who forgets how it feels to fall

There is this boy
The boy who is way too genius
The boy who is humble
The boy who thinks low about himself in front of her
The boy who forbids himself from falling

There are this two persons
Two persons who hide behind their bricked walls
Two persons who put their ego up as defense,
Defense from falling
Falling deeper, deeper, and deeper
Into each other.

i knew i had to leave him
not because i didnt care, because God knows I did.
but because he didnt inspire me
no words of love came to me when i looked at him
i did not think it was adorable how his nose was crooked
i did not think the way his hair flopped over was imperfectly perfect
i did not think that even in his saddest, angriest, or generally unhappy states that he was still somehow wonderful in a jaw-dropping, ‘god youre still so perfect even like this’ way.
i write poetry, thats what i do
and all i could write about him was how supportive and comforting he was.
it became one sided
being near him was draining;being with him was a chore.
i was becoming the type of person
that he would be writing the sad words about
i was giving him the distance
he could feel in his heart
even when we were together.
and i couldnt continue on like that
i couldnt let myself become a monster to him
one of the monsters even i write about at night.

His whole family might hate me for breaking his heart,, but i did it for myself.

one by one
each card is dealt to you,
another chance comes your way,
seven new chances lie in your hands.

each card
is full of new hope, opportunity and desires,
you take a close look at them all
with those gleaming eyes.

to you this is nothing but a game
as you feel no shame,
you skip over other’s emotions
and reverse the connections you have made.

you proudly discard them each
one at a time
and pick up more along the way,
before leaving the others behind.

they eventually all are placed in your discard pile
until there is a singular one left,
a single card, she is all that is left,
and you contently call “uno”.

your turn approaches again,
you look down at your final card
with your gazing green eyes,
and you place her too, in the discard pile.

it was just a matter of time before you discarded me as well.
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