I'm all on my own now
Have nothing to lose
The one thing I cared of
Decided to move (on)

I'm sitting here, waiting
For just one last call
But I'm scared of hearing
Please, don't say "Goodbye"

I would never let you read this,
I would never dare to write about this.
I will not knock on your bedroom window.
I will not kiss you as a skipping stone against waterfronts.

You never hugged me goodbye.
I never lost my breath for you.
You never went out dancing with me,
I did not travel by your side.
I was not a show,
only for the night you lived next to me.

No need to worry,
I will not go crazy,
I will not think of you
as I've been doing better,
now its only every other night -
and the nights in between.

I know you will not invite me for brunch. We will not stay to sleep together.

You will remain a beautiful man,
and I will not want to see you again.
Never, will you undress me with your eyes.
I will not be your husband,
I will not have your children.

This is not the life you chose for me.
It will never be the life you chose for us.

I remember with disdain your hands on me,
I do not remember being excited.
If once you destroyed me
it seems more a dream
than something I lived through.

There is someone who blieves in a love
that appears, that lasts forever.
And it is love.
But you and I are safe
from that perfect illusion.
Because that someone is neither you nor me.
Because that someone will not be you or me.
Because that someone is neither you nor me.

in a garden
filled with a thousand beautiful roses,
I am the wilting one.

when he broke my heart
mommy asked
“is he a good boy?”
I nodded.

then he broke my heart again
and mommy asked again
“is he a good boy?”
I nodded.

You could have numbed the pain
but instead I turn to whiskey.

I drink away the sins and pain
I wonder if you miss me.

You left but it's unclear why
there is nobody here to get me through it all.

So I drink myself unholy
and pour my heart out onto the table.

one minuscule action
spoke to her
one thousand words