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Eva 1h
Being cheated on hurts. So. Bad. 

The way I loved before, I know I’ll never be able to get back to that point ever again.

My sense of self worth has gone down, I now question my trust in my own intuition, and my hurt feels like a pain I’ve never felt before.

“I’m so glad I never have to worry about him.” 

Something I used to always tell my mom and friends.

I always thought his love for me would overpower his desire for other women. I was so wrong. 

I felt stupid. I felt played. 

I’d had opportunities to do him as ***** (if not dirtier) than he did me. I didn’t partake in those opportunities because I felt like our love was so pure and I didn’t want to be the one to ruin something so beautiful.

I was wrong. 
I felt embarrassed. I felt ashamed. 

While I was sick, I thought he was being true to me. I fantasized about having his kids upon healing. I thought our love grew stronger because he was there for me at my lowest.

I was wrong.

Instead, he was spending time and money - something we both felt we had such little of- on someone else.

I feel hurt. I feel unsafe. 

I don’t trust the same way I used to. I don’t look at him the same way I used to. I don’t have “forever” hopes like I used to.

Hopefully someday I’ll heal.

But for now, my heart hurts.

I’ll never be the same.
Phia 2d
Some moments I think I’ll be okay.
Like the earth beneath my feet isn’t shaking
Like my castle isn’t crumbling
Like every fiber of my existence doesn’t belong to you.
But then the earthquakes come
And the waves of emotion ensue
And I’m forced to face the fact
That now I’ll have to cherish the thought of you
For longer than I had you
And I’m forced to face the fact that I will not know The amazing things you’ll do
Nor the amazing person you’ll grow to be
I will no longer know what it’s like
To kiss you
To hug you
To laugh with you
To hold hands with you
To wake up everyday next to you.
To make memories with you

I’ll no longer know what it’s like to grow old with you

You brought me peace
And happiness
And home
I don’t want this
I don't know what wrong have I done
To deserve so much pain
Always, have I been kind
Yet, have I lost a few friends
Suffered, have I, a rather painful divorce
My marriage was a total farce
However, not at all was I at fault
Never, did I deserve so much hurt!

I don't know what wrong have I done
To be taken for granted by a woman
Whom I loved a lot
She cared for me not one bit
Though she turned out to be an amazing actress
Who pretended to be in great distress
And milked me for all was I worth
Really, was she the worst!!

I don't know what wrong have I done
To be so rudely cut off by a woman
Who always called me her best friend
Never did I think our long relationship would end
In such a brutal manner
Especially considering was I always good to her
How dare she take advantage of my autism
***** her and her Brahminical egoism!!

I don't know what wrong have I done
To be rejected by almost everyone
On a variety of dating apps
Sometimes I feel I am being treated like a corpse
What qualities do I lack?
Why do some people only look at my mistakes
And not the good things have I done?
Seriously, with India, am I done!!

I don't know what wrong have I done
But I am not going to be taken for granted again
***** all of you, thanks to whom I have suffered
There may be a time when YOU suffer
I will laugh at you then
Truly, never again, am I going to be taken for a ride
Because Jesus is on my side
Rant on my sufferings in life.
Stewie Jun 12
It's been a long time, since I have sat at this page. Enough heartbreak will take you away from the things you once loved. Oh how I long for a summer full of love. The sun on my skin, as you drive your car. Sand between our toes as you play with my hair. The breath on my neck as you hug me from behind. To be with someone you can be yourself around is like winning the lottery. I know I will not stay, because I leave before it gets too good. I never let them get too close to break my heart
Summer of love
Sofia HB Jun 12
My traitorous heart beats for you and even though you aren't looking I feel embarrassed to still be shedding tears over a distant memory. Too far from me to grasp but close enough to imagine in details.
Two dimples digging into the sides of your mouth, an emerging mustache barely noticeable.
Brown eyes liquid with anxiety, your voice going soft when you tell me a pretty lie.
"I love you."
The days go by so slowly, but the weeks fly right on by
Echoes of you everywhere, and all my heart knows is to cry
The emptiness without you is almost too much to bear
With a pain this intense, my best and only tool is prayer

It takes all that I have in the morning to just get out of bed
I keep thinking of all the regrets and other things not said
They say that time heals all wounds, but I do not think this one will
The world just keeps on spinning, when it feels like it should be still

Every night I go to sleep, thinking I will see you tomorrow
Then reality hits me when I awake, and I struggle with the sorrow
This was not supposed to happen, and certainly not this way
But if I were to see you again, what would I even say?

We stayed so distant because we both needed our own space
Yet all I feel are hurt and regret, now that you're in another place
Are you looking down on me, watching me from above?
If all I feel is grief, does that mean I feel your love?

I have so many questions, the main one being, "Why?"
Why did you have to leave us, and why could we not say goodbye?
Did you think that you were sparing me, to take away my begs and pleas?
I still want more time, and for us to make new memories

The house feels so empty now, without your presence around
I listen for your voice, and your heart in every sound
Can you come stay with us, and sit with me for a while?
I would do almost anything, if I could get to see you smile

These are the words that came to mind, and they don't feel like enough
But it is too hard to think that clearly when dealing with something this tough
I keep expecting you to come back, to say it was all just a scheme
That it was some secret plot, or even just a dream

You would walk up from your office and sit down in your seat
I would hug you tightly and just listen to your heart beat
I would yell at you for leaving us, and bury my head in your chest
You would say that you just needed time, because you were so stressed

But since that is not reality, no, just my wishful thinking
Instead I look to the night sky, and notice the stars that are twinkling
I will pick one of those, and choose to believe it is you
Because as much as I am hurting, I am sure you miss us too

So I will do my best to be a man, and soldier on without you
For no matter what anyone else may think, I will always talk about you
I will never stop hurting, this just means we had a lot of love
I cannot wait to embrace you, when we join you up above

Mom and I will be okay, you do not need to worry
The love of God is with us, the author of our story
For although this chapter hurts, and there are tear stains on the page
I will remember you in every sentence, and with the coming of every age

For to have had a father in this world, it truly was a blessing
You are no longer in pain; there is no more hurt or stressing
We may have had our differences, but I was lucky to call you dad
I see it all too clearly now: you were the best I could have had
My father passed away on April 4th, 2024 at 1:27am. It was a big shock to us all and we're still devastated. It doesn't feel real. I tried my best to put it into words but I honestly don't feel like it does it justice. I miss him so much.
Viktoriia Jun 10
what hurts the most
is the unbearable duplicity of it all.
i wonder how long you were going to pretend
once you'd changed your mind,
once i'd become too difficult for you to adore;
i guess developing a personality
outside of your own thoughts
was a huge turn-off.
you must've hoped that love had done a better job
at clouding my judgement right before that last fight.
well, self-awareness truly is a double-edged sword;
i found myself but i lost
the last ounce of compassion
towards your ever so unimaginative lies.
now that it's time to reap the fruits of our labour
every bite gets stuck like a lump inside my throat.
but darling, just so you know,
what hurt me the most
was the unbearable duplicity of it all.
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