fuck around
too many thoughts in my head
they need to breath
they need to be
i’ve turned my anxiety inside out
and broken through the wall.

substance user  
feeling abuser

i am the ghastly ideas that
pace under your bed at night
the man in the corner at a
short glance.
feel my pain because i have none left.
clear skies reflect white lies
i don’t want to change my brown eyes

Amelia Robin Dec 7

Out of randomly seeking
I’ve seen this possible opportunity
I hope I’ll be qualified enough
To proved my self-worth
Even more than what others may thought of me
Just give me a chance
I won’t mess up this time
This could be it
No to jinx please
I’m trembling upon typing
No to more errors please
Just a single chance is what I plead
Lead my way to You.

I dont know
but there was something
about her
that made me feel
it was safe to tell her
all my secrets.

Deppresion or something went over me
I just started feeling alone.
or different
or strange
just kinda embracing the loneliness

It really isn't bad though
being alone.
I let me stay happy
or sad but knowing
it wasn't because of someone else

But i am changing now
i am trying new things
i still haven't found the real me
no matter what a poem says.
I still surprise myself with what i can do.

Okay, so maybe i don't have depression.
But if being left out makes me happy and sad
without finding a definite answer,
is that really a bad thing?

this isn't as good as my earlier ones but i am trying to see where i need to improve. still, thanks for reading if you did.

I'm incinerated
Within my soul
Too weak to move
Too weak to pull
And something
Just keeps dragging me
Back under
Hanging over me
Like thunder

Where does the sun rise?
Can't seem to keep up
Deaf to all my friends' advice
Keep fading with the stars
Keep falling with the dark

Can't seem to wake up
How can I ever make up
All my lost time
When every day
There is no reason
To this rhyme?

I know
That I'm responsible
Been told
That I am capable
To carry
My own weight
But the light
Has grown too faint
To see anything
But stars
In my eyes

This is what it feels like
And the words
They come to me
And I'm taken away
With the tide

I wrote this a while ago during one of my periods of deep depression. Hope it's not too jumbled beyond all reason. Enjoy!
Babe Nov 30

When I didn’t want the train to end
When I defended it, my best friend
When I didn’t tell a soul who cared
When I made you cry when you shared.

When I became Nyx each night
When I got into every fight
When I didn’t ask a thing at all
When we constantly had to crawl.

When you couldn’t stand to play me
When you gave up on that easily
You’re like ‘why don’t we just wait and see?’
I’m 99% sure you love me.

When I kissed you little kiss goodnight
When you told me I would be alright
When I lost myself in your words
When I tried to hide I was hurt

When I hid it for the sake of myself
When you admitted that you did it as well
When I danced with you and everything changed
When I’m reminded of the things you’d say...

I have to say, in part and part,
Love should never be this hard.

Mrs Robota Nov 20

It snowed last night
I’m tired
I’d like to close my eyes for a while
Will you drive?
I don’t want to sleep anymore
I want to work
But I don’t know why I can’t
Am I lying to myself?
Am I motivated?
Why don’t I want to do this?
What happened?
Darling, have I lost the passion?
It’s a snowy day
Darling, have I lost the love?
It’s a slow day
It must be me

I did the laundry last night
Took me twice as long as it usually does
My room is a mess
My hair is wet
But I don’t want to tend to it
Let it knot
I don’t know why I can’t
What’s stopping me from functioning?
My routine is so messed up
I’ve been sleeping till 2 in the afternoon
When I usually wake up at 7am
It’s a snow day
Darling, I have no purpose
It’s a slow day
Darling, I have no interest
It must be me

This poem is hard to write
I want to stop right here
But I’m gonna finish it
Because I have to do something
I can’t lose myself like this
I don’t care if it ain’t good enough

I like to write down little notes
Keep them in my back pocket
I’m all alone at the front
The bell rings
But no one comes in
It’s a snowy day
It’s a slow day
It must be me
Why is this me?

The newspaper has been torn
And written on
In blue pen
But the crossword is incomplete
And I don’t know how to solve it
But the crossword is incomplete
And I’d like to feel tears
But they won’t come
How did I get here?
I’d like to cry
I’d like for someone to scream inside my head
I’d like to get back
But it’s quite
They must’ve given up

Something is wrong
Am I gone?

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