At first his hand prints were soft
Touching me gently, slowly and softly
Then his ego got fed
They became hard
Found strength to swing
My face the target
Swinging and swinging
He hit with a passion
I was his lover and his target
I forgave and he reloaded
Bullets in hands
Shot and my heart he destroyed
My inside pain became seen by many
Bruises and bumps, cut lips and black eyes
They asked why I never left
I told them he took something from me
He took my heart and left me feeling empty
To fill that void I replaced his love with my pain
Some called him an abuser
I called him my lover
To me it was all the same
there's something that I sometimes want to ask you
and sometimes I just don't
because sometimes you move too fast for me
to even start to speak
there's something I want to tell you now
I just can't find the words
because I've always wanted to tell you
what I don't know how to say
there's something I really want to say
but you can't hear my voice
it's not because you aren't listening to me
just that I'm too far away
there's something I really want to whisper
want to make you feel my voice
as though our lips were brushing
but we can't feel a thing
because the thing that I've been wanting
so badly to say to you
is the simplest thing in all the world:
I just really want to kiss you
i want you
into sight and out of mind
i want your phantom touch to provide the real feel
of your skin on mine
to lie between satin sheets on rainy days
explore every crevice that your body offers
let us know a life where we're together
yet canada seems a world away
further more when we don't talk for days
and it's like my feelings mask that of the sky
darker and rainier
feeling no warmth from the suns rays
reflecting the ocean and their stormy waters
similar to those murky eyes in which i found home
don't you see that
this mind holds a world of thoughts and feelings
always about you
recklessly a slave to loves cruel fate in a world where you don't care
a slave to the pain it takes to make me feel alive
because i can't cope without emotion
a slave to my love sewn lips
which avidly resist to admit that you are the problem
for i am so consumed with this need to feel wanted
i would take anything from you
but you don't give
I am sure many a fool has pondered
A question that asks
Nothing at all...
If you're busy doing nothing
Are you doing something afterall?
seems like nothing,
And what was nothing
Was really something in itself.
Nothing is not nothing
It becomes something after all
I'm losing something
In the waiting
And never have way to ending
I'm losing my mind
In the middle
Like torn apart
The different faith
What i do next?
Let or hold
Although it's hurt
Now is not the time,
so when is it ever going to be?
You say it won't hurt,
But then you don't see,
The scars within me.
Saying goodbye is never easy,
But so is saying hello.
With you I am conflicted,
With you I am renewed,
So drastic is our love story.
Remember our smiles?
I don't either,
Maybe it is time.
I want to tear apart,
but you're holding back.
That it's time.
You were something to me,
just remember that.