When I wanted flowers from you yesterday,
you didn't bring any.
Yesterday it would've been healthy by today,
and grown by tomorrow.
Well at least I know that I'll get them tomorrow,
but all they'll do is lay above me:
out in the soil with dirt blowing over them
and I will no longer be there to water those flowers

i am an over thinker. most times, it’s hard to shut my brain off, but then there are times where my brain actually shuts off; my mind goes blank as i sit there. numb. i don’t know which i hate more.
     when i start thinking, my brain goes on and on about everything and nothing at all. one thing leads to another and i can’t do anything but sit there and let the thoughts consume me. i let myself feel. i let my thoughts convince me that certain stuff are true and i start to wonder about things that shouldn’t even matter. at that moment, i want nothing but to be left alone because i start to hate absolutely everything and everyone, mostly myself.
     then, there are the times when my brain just shuts off; i can’t think, i can’t feel. i’m distracted by everything, but not quite paying attention to anything. if i’m alone, i stare blankly at the wall or the ceiling or whatever it is that i am facing at the moment. if i am with people, i stare at them talking or moving, but i do not take in anything that is going on around me. i do not feel as if i am alive. at that moment, i am only breathing.
     i say i do not know which i hate more because thinking too much makes me wish i would die, but being numb already makes me feel dead.

My oldest friend
In those few moments
We share the same breath
Everything is suddenly okay

Your touch is enough
To make everything else numb
Your love is a drug
And I'm still addicted

I hate it when my friends keep secrets on me.
I hate it when my friends plan something without me.
I hate it when they share something to others but not me.
I hate it when I feel like I'm not part of the group.
It's better to be alone,
Than being with someone who makes you feel alone.

I made a list of all the things I wanted to tell you;

And I stored them in a box.

Time went on and the list grew so big the box had broken.

I burned the box, the list, and all of my memories with you.

I should've just gotten a bigger box...

I kept on to you because I was afraid of being alone.
I loved harder even when it hurts the most

We went to a play last week

Actors strutted around

Among a set of tall buildings

Made of actual stone of grey

And billowing smoke

And noises

And crowds.


Upon the great stage they talked

About their ancient ideas

Like wars

And politics

And freedom.

In one scene an actor yelled

and swung a mighty hand

and struck the other man!


And though we knew

It was really just acting

The idea that one

Could hit another

Shocked all of us in the audience
So powerfully

And a few people even left

The theatre

In tears.

But there were funny bits too

In the play that night.

A character said he had a car.

His Own. 
Personal. 
Car!

And together they were to drive

Both of them

Off to an aeroport.

Like with all the steering,

And foot pedals,

And everything.

And in a very sad part

Someone treated someone else badly

And called her names

Because of the colour

Of her skin

And because she had come

From somewhere else.

And all our eyes were wet for a while.

One man used a device

Which was an ancient komputer.

Two flat parts with a hinge

And it opened upon his lap

And one side glowed brightly

To illuminate his face

And he presses a bunch of button-keys

To spell words and things

Because that’s how they told the

Komputer

What to do.

And we all laughed.

when it was over a bunch of us asked the man that was hit if he was okay was he really okay it looked terrible and did they really have to do that awful thing in the play and was the other actor a bad man and he said no, it was alright and the other actor was a nice man and that it didn’t hurt at all and he said he was sorry that it scared us but it was the violence of the time and the people of that time and we said we kind of understood.

And we all felt better


But one lady

Still needed to hug him.

And his eyes

Were a little wet too.