PP 37m
I hate that I care so much
even though we've never met
I hate how much you affect my day
How when you text I feel alive
but when you are ignoring me the next day I die a littlebit inside

Why would you paint such a bright future in my head
When you know you can't love me back
Your thoughts are still going to a different girl but mine keep holding onto you
How do I do this? We are both hurting but for different lovers

I wish we could work
I wish you would realize that I would give you my world but no you don't care as much as I do I am just a rebound for all you knew
And you know what I hate the most?
I hate that after all you put me through I am still in love with you
I couldn't find a song
The music didn't fit
No lyrics could describe
The wall the we hit
The pain
Our lies
You leaving so abruptly
Looking back at it now
It all sounds so funny
You learn to forgive
But its hard to forget
We'll always have a connection
That we can never unlive
So you showed me in songs
Just how you feel
I'll tell you in word
So you know that its real
We had a good run
We loved
And we lost
I forgive you for alot
As long as you forgive me
For calling the cops
There will always be a place
Right in my heart
And I hope every night
You don't fall apart
get away from me
take your dirty hands off me
wipe that guilty smile off your face

i don’t need a reminder of how stupid i am
you make me feel bad about myself

when i feel pretty—
i’m actually ugly
when i feel strong—
i’m actually weak
when i feel smart—
i’m actually dumb
when i say i’m in love—

it’s a mistake

i don’t need you showing me your dissatisfaction
i don’t need you playing me like a board game
i don’t need you telling the same thing to everyone
that i’m wild and need to be tamed

you’re a liar and a cheater
a hater and a faker
and a distraction (!)
Kayla 3h
I find him perfect in many ways
What can I say though
He is perfect for me
My dream guy to be exact
No ones dream guy ever comes true
But mine did I must be the lucky one
For my dream guys name is Jayson
Kayla 3h
I miss you dad
I didn’t get to say goodbye
Your gone and I’m still here
You left March 18, 2017
I found out February 2nd, 2018
Almost a year later
Why did no one tell me
I guess I wasn’t that important
Not to you now I see
You never loved me
But dad I will always love you
HER
WHY DO YOU STILL LET ME TALK TO YOU,
WHEN YOU SAY YOU HATE ME?
WHEN WILL YOU ADMIT THAT YOU LOVE HER?
BECAUSE YOU TWO SEEM TO GET ALONG SO WELL.

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU WOULD FOLLOW HER TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH.
YOU'LL HELP HER IF SHE FELL.
MAYBE YOU TWO WERE DESTINED BY BIRTH,
OR MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST GO TO HELL.

I SEE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT HER.
OR WHEN YOU HEAR HER NAME, YOUR EYES LIGHT UP
YOU TWO ARE JUST PLAYING LIFE'S BIGGEST GAME.
IT'LL END EVENTUALLY,
BUT IT'LL END WITHOUT ME.

I CAN ALREADY TELL,
THAT ONCE SHE'S YOURS,
I'LL BE FORGOTTEN.
AS IF I WASN'T HE ONE WHO BROUGHT YOU TOGETHER.

YOU WON'T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN US,
BUT HERE PROBABLY NEVER WAS AN "US".
Maksim 5h
Walking up the concrete hill like an emotional rollercoastser. Feeling like jumping high on a trampoline to walking on fire and shatter glass. Walking up and making that loop with such relief like taking that first hit of that good kush. Walking the concentrate path over the train tracks feeling free like an innocent soul released from prison. Slowly and steady, my pace moving but my mind is mixing with thoughts like food in a blender. Reaching the midpoint, standing high in the sky, above all like the owl on the roof. Such a short distance ahead yet feeling miles away as I take steady steps like a lost tourist following a map. Around barbed wire fence like a captive creature believing to be safe. With a noose as a necklace as a final place which didn't feel right so I lifted it off like taking off my heavy college backpack and realizing to move forward toward my next phase.
Joliver 6h
Your name appeared
And it was something I feared
Moved to tears
Because of all our years
I don't know why I can't stop shaking

We stopped following one another
Stopped seeing each other
After our horrible fallout
Seeing you name makes my heart shout
I don't know why I can't stop shaking

Your name shouldn't be here
You should be anywhere but near
Now I can't stop thinking of you
Your name as infectious as the flu
I don't know why I can't stop shaking

You loved me, you hate me
Anyone who looks can see
I loved you, I love you
That's what makes it hurt too
I hate that I can't stop shaking
Kayla 7h
I want to die
I remember the first time those words left my mouth
I want to die now
I don’t want to die later
I want to slit my wrist and bleed
Bleed that deep deep red showing I am human
And those words you speak do hurt
Maybe those words you speak to me
I should carve into my legs
For a reminder of what I am
A slut
A whore
A fat cow
A bitch
Maybe I should listen
Listen to those people
Who tell me to go kill myself
Slit my wrist and go bleed out
For I am not wanted
Not needed by anyone
Not loved
Not cared for
Ill carve those words in my legs tonight
Bleed a deep red
Leaving no inch of skin untouched
After that I will slit my wrist
Like they have been telling me to do for years
I leave the water in my bath tub red
Closing my eyes
I am finally at peace
No one to listen to
Kayla 7h
They all wanted her
Just to push her back down
Back down to the very depths
The very depths of death
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