i love you
and i just want to go to sleep
reading shitty sad poetry
and music that fills my dark room
alone, with no sound
'i love you'
but it's gone and done
gone for good
or was that
are you in your bed
or in hers
trying to forget me?
if you haven't already
(you said you wouldn't but now i'm terrified that you have)
this wasn't supposed to be
a fact i can't accept
without your life
that was never a concept
i could wrap around
inside of my head
and my biggest fear now
is not that you no longer love me
it's that i am afraid
you will forget me
Doctor, oh doctor.
Please help her remember.
Get her out of the fog.
Lead her the right way.
The abuses behind my back.
The darkness swallows her.
Doctor, oh doctor.
Would you please do something.
Her memories’ slowly fading.
Give her the antidote.
She’s so toxic.
She was my medicine.
But now she’s expired.
She’s my drug.
She made me an addict.
Once you take a taste,
You can never forget.
The bridges we built with a desire to connect
Slowly rust down with habitual neglect
Weathered by sadness through salty tears
Broken down by accusations and continuous fears
A desolate structure made to last
Soon, a forgotten memory in the past
With love and care, it could have flourished
But when left too long in the dying sun, it perished
I covered my ears but I could still hear it.
Voices that narrate pictures in my head.
imprinted somewhere inside.
I would give anything to un-hear them
as there is nothing important left to give
But it felt as if waves that I produced
are pushing you further and further
And there isn’t enough faith to expect a return
My heart pounding so loudly and rapidly
I covered my ears to listen
trying to drown out other voices
It did not work
So I screamed
until I taste blood
I could rip it out
It might just be a needle sticking further and further in
towards the centre of my heart
The pictures start developing from its own imagination
and my body grew weak
The urge to tore my skin apart
to grab a knife
to dig into my core
to take out all the parts I hate
to cut them all open
to see them so clearly
to expose all the virus
that is all there is
Blood went gushing out
I smiled with dead eyes
seeing as this infection
leaving my body
so I could finally rest
By Arcassin Burnham
Use to think about sitting with you down at the bridge,
use to dream about the times where we would kiss and
every breath I took I fell in love with you over and over,
like a sad roller coaster getting ready to fall off the rails.
Trying to forget the past like every human being,
but every human being don't wanna forget,
like That friend that stole all your friends,
that same friend that sat there and told you friends to the end,
what did he do? didn't Recognize you again,
Now lets get something straight,
Didn't your mom ever tell you to worry about you and no one else,
not even your spouse,
This world is so bat-shit insane that everything is corrupt now,
so much bad order in this country they expect you to bow down,
yeah your trust,
is a no no,
make it so so,
No lives matter obviously,
I don't know,
where to go go,
scared of death,
not scared to face it,
looking for a way out of the matrix,
I could care less about the systems wealth,
save your self.
Of having to speak when no one else will.
Of having to put in all the effort when no one else will.
What do you see through those eyes glistening with tears?
I see a cadaverous heart, patched up many times, cursed and blackened.
When I go out in the streets
I feel alienated; people wearing their lovers like dashing accessories:
Hands around waists, hands intertwined.
And out of my extraterrestrial self
I misunderstand what the definition of love is.
Every time I try- I fail.
I fail to win the game of love, a deceiving checkmate, a cold-hearted stalemate.
But I'll try again.
Because wounds heal, with their time.
And whilst you think ahead, I look back.
And whilst you lift your chin, I'll sink mine down.
As a fragment of Joan of Arc
I will save my soul from invasion
I will tender that garden in my heart, plant new seeds of kindness and peace.
There will be little scars here and around my chest, but I will live on.