how does one take part in promises.
Long since past.
Like riding a roller coaster that never seems to cease its desent.
or finding a seat.
In an empty theatre.
When will conversation start in I and not Us.
Everyone in this life is a stranger.
Passing on a cross walk.
Regardless of what side they began.
Eventually they walk away.
Until death do us remain apart.
For living adrift.
With a crooked rudder.
Has established the circles to be repeated.
And as this new revolution comes to the end.
A hand slips and gives control to the tides.
Removing any facade that hinted that there was any control to be had.
With no map.
No navigator.
No urge to go much of anywhere.
For the sea has already stripped away any feature that could be used to identify the once grand vessel.
Even the fish below keep their nourishment to themselves.
Granting a mild pyschosis.
But these mirages turn too real.
And waiting on bruises to heal.
Do not make the gashes bleed less.
Just causes the shock to over take this shell of a body.
In which no move against its advance is made.
For it is the only thing that wishes to.
Leaving humanity in the distance.
As the arms of oblivion surround the fractured soul.
run away
from the
pretty lies
the in-between
fake promises
the guilty
eye contacts
the half-hearted
apologies.
I left at his door,
Some flowers and some innocence
Some feelings and some promises.
Dressed in memories with a crown of smile.
Set in search of my missing piece
Of broken heart.
A blanket of stars
on an ebony sky,
freshly mown grass
on a bright rainy day
a carpet of - half made promises.
I walk on, miles and miles
towards the sound
of your distant roar,
echoing; tempting me forward --
I reach out
to the confines
of where we built our
kingdom ~ of dreams.
We used to say we were forever
That we were 110% loyal to eachother
And we would spend an eternity together.
What happened to those promises?
Where did the loyalty go?
Why didnt we last forever?
Who am I to question you leaving...
Its hard reading old messages
People change its true
But I never wanted that person to be you
What happened to the I love you?
Where did the happiness go?
Why did it have to end like this?
Who am I to force you to stay...
I kept you around because you knew me,
You knew my story,
My background,
The trauma,
The meaning behind tired.
What I forgot was that I gave you that privilege,
The chance to stay even after the door had been locked,
The opportunity to hold me close when all you did was let me go and watch me come right back,
Like the bright red yo-yo you had when you were a kid.
I had forgotten I had given you a right to see me at my weakest,
Me.
I did that.
There was a time before you,
When I knew no such thing as a hand wrapped around my throat in your tight fist when fists were made for Rock-Paper-Scissors,
When scars were thrown across my body when I thought scars were from battle wounds earned by soldiers fighting for a country they loved,
There was a time when a man hitting a woman never crossed my mind,
That only happened in dramatic movies and horror films.
You,
You gave me a reason to open my eyes to see the world in a way that I thought I would never have to look in but I guess,
Thanks.
Thank you for the caution that I have adopted into my life,
Thank you for darkness I can hide myself in when I feel unsafe,
Thank you for the heartbreak,
For the chance to understand that pain exists in the world,
A world I never knew and would not have been able to survive in because I was too gentle.
I was delicate,
My skin only flushed when it reached embarrassment and not with shamefulness,
I was untouched in a way only God could understand but even now,
My faith shakes in the light that points into my face when I am being questioned by my alter ego.
Convincing myself,
Persuading,
It was what I had wanted, right?
Because how do you let someone stay after purple kisses are given to you by their fists,
How do you let someone climb into your body unwillingly if you were stripped numbly by their hands and you were too frozen to object.
You must have wanted it,
Right?
The rain tumbled from the sky like a child weeping,
The car swerved across the yellow lines,
My younger brother held my cat crying.
"When are we going back home?"
A question unable to answer,
The car acting like a cold metal dome.
"Soon,"
Is all I could reply,
I was too shaky and him too young to notice.
"Promise?"
Eyes full of tears,
Hope so dear,
So I said out of fear,
"Promise."
She chose
pizza over salad,
fries over boys,
books over looks,
actions over promises,
mountains over money,
oceans over tears.
I can't explain Trump by assuming
Half of our country was stoned.
There must be many more factors
Than that one reason alone.
A huge part of it must be sloth
That so many people haven’t seen
Through an election between a
Failed businessman and an American queen.
All my life I heard it said,
This is all you’ll ever need.
These words drummed into my head
Stay in school, work hard and succeed.
Something in our garden has
Never bloomed from this seed.
I guess they never figured on
Excessive corporate greed.
It’s like watching train wreck
Were people paid to be in it.
You keep hoping it will
Get better in a minute
But then some jerk threatens
To take away human rights
And half the fools in the country
Refuse to put up a fight.
All my life I heard it said,
This is all you’ll ever need.
These words drummed into my head
Stay in school, work hard and succeed.
Something in our garden has
Never bloomed from this seed.
I guess they never figured on
Excessive corporate greed.
The thieves we see now in DC
Get rich from robbing those who work.
Those of us who are not wealthy
Are looked on as a gullible jerk.
So where’s the land we were promised?
What happened to the Golden Rule?
And why are we being gutpunched
By a ugly, evil illiterate fool?
All my life I heard it said,
This is all you’ll ever need.
These words drummed into my head
Stay in school, work hard and succeed.
Something in our garden has
Never bloomed from this seed.
I guess they never figured on
Excessive corporate greed.