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shortness of breath,
chest pain,
visual distortions,
can't focus my eyes or my ears,
irregular sleep patterns,
apathy & restlessness,
bouts of euphoria and outwardly narrating my inward thoughts, like Yoda!

These symptoms started over a week ago, however; I've been living with most of these issues my whole life???
Eexhausted all the time
Patterson Jul 2021
I am 22;
staring at the mismatched cups
arranged in my kitchen cupboard,
wondering if I'll ever have great big matching sets
of plates, bowls, forks, knives, spoons
and cups

I am 22 and in love,
wondering how I got so lucky
-throwing myself backward,
through time,
to the person standing at my front door
one whole year ago.
Heart-hammering in their chest,
a fresh-cut key in their hand,
still raw with heart-ache:
An empty flat,
and a new life
behind a locked door.

I am old enough now
to recognize the shifting cycles;
to know that every August
is painted rose gold like setting sun
-and to know that February
cannot claw and tear at my ribs
lest I let it.
I am old enough to know
that I can start over -
without fear, without shame.
But young enough to leave bigger things
to chance:
these are answers I don't have

And I don't need to.
I am 22,
brewing coffee in chipped cups,
planting kisses on a forehead,
arms, hands, sides, cheeks, lips,
dancing and jumping
when the world lifts around me.
I am 22,
and the world lies open before me.
I moved into my flat on July 4th in 2020, and though I am miles away from America, I felt that same spirit of liberty. To this day I view July 4th as my emancipation - my fresh start. And life has only gotten better since that day; September came and I fell in love, December came and I said it out loud for the first time. And since then I've only been growing and finding my feet in the wide world.
I am genuinely happy, and though heart break left me raw, I wouldn't change a single thing.
Kuzhur Wilson Mar 2021
A 22 ct poem on gold

Dear gold

In the body of a woman

you attain elegance

lying chained to the hip

fatigue like

Endless are the times

when earlobes and foot

seduced me without you

Mere threads of yellow

will do better than you

There's a cuteness

seeing you

swing from a single ear

Nose studs, with a stare

have stung me sleepless.

The ones made of rolled

gold too

But, dear gold

You become gold

when you are pawned

Like the revolutionary

who becomes more revolutionary

when hanged

Like the soldier

who gets shot and becomes

a soldier even more

Dear gold in the pawn shop

My gold, dear gold

Translated by Binu Karunakaran
Translated by Binu Karunakaran
Shrika Nov 2020

Darkness pours into me
in shimmering rivulets,


thrumming in staccatos
of carnal dour;


begging me to yield, to burn,
to drown in its mercy,


But it knows not that
a flicker is all it takes
to light

Diwali, the festival of light, celebrated in India signifies this hope, new beginnings and the power of light.
A very happy diwali to everyone!

I'm very thankful to everyone in this wonderful community who have been constantly supporting me and have been appreciating my poems. I have now decided to take a break in writing as I'm almost at the end of my senior year in school and things have started to get hectic. I may not be able to post anything for a few months. Hopefully by the time I come back with a new poem, I'd have a good chance of getting into my dream college(fingers crossed):D
Lavender Menace Oct 2020
Lovely flowers shall wither much too soon for you my darling! I can sing in only runes near your broken corpse sewn effigy and I will steal the energy from that place that I was meant to burn.
So please my love do not rest for me.
And i will sew a  t h o u s a n d dolls only to bring to me your last lilac smile,
Yet only you whisper those ever dreaded words.
“Ars longa, vita brevis”
So i can fake a dandy laugh
At least I can give you that.
Oh! The last of my fears lie stainless and dormant, with the tears that would stain your neck
Yet “ad astra aspera”
And no matter how much your body will crack your sage blue lips, forever you'll be with your coal black eyes until our lullabye turns to a cry.
So I shall wait with deprived rest.
Dripping heads,
Frozen fingers,
P u r p l e l i p s!!
All the singing monitors and drippings bags turn pale and silent next to what your hands had told me by nightfall, oh baby hold me before i sleep despite all the holes in my feet. With faces and fingers that drip with salt
With jarring moans that echo not but
L I V E!!
And oh if it could be that these four walls could speak. They would stay in such mournful silence for all the death that they've been borne to hold.
OH! So I weep for these four battered walls!!
And i can still hear your cursed breaths jumping through the halls
And every single inhale delves in fear of being last.
I wonder if darling witch breath will halt to an end.
And dancing darling to your deathbed, I ask that slowly witch you dread.
For what are to be letters you'll sing when at last you are to end.
Then you breathe my name! You hold my hand and oh!!how it feels until i look at you with melting zeal! see I was your last.

For darling, now that you are dead.
Poem. Boom. Ur welcome
Lavender Menace Feb 2020
Hi, I'm really lonely and kinda sad...again. and I really miss you... again. Wow, jeeze I sound so desperate for attention I wish I had attention. I wish I wasn't so lonely all the time. Did you leave me? Did you finally decide the best way to get rid of me was to ignore me all together?Did you finally get out of the pit and decided to walk away and leave me all alone with no way of coming out of the pit myself? I'm all alone now. Staring at the spot you used to sit shamelessly wishing you were there. We're you ever there tho? Did you ever love me? Or was it just another game? Is that why you left? Because I became boring? Were you lying every single time? It broke me you know, tore me to shreds, do you know what the worst part is? I have hope. False hope that I gave myself.
"Remember when we carved are name in the stars, it was special. I hope you feel that way too" cute, huh? It's probably for another girl, another game, another dream. I'm dramatic, I'm in love, without you, it kinda *****. I wish more than anything that you would call me right now. Or text. Or email. Or signal. Or write. Summon? But you won't. Because your gone. You left and I have to deal with it, you got over me and I sat there helping you leave It's so funny to me how you would always try so hard to get out of love, I would help you but you never noticed that I was still there I just stayed there and would not move I still don't want to get out of love with you because once im out it's only a matter of time before I fall in love with someone else and my heart gets broken again, I can handle a little bit of pain and lonelyness and heartache and everything that comes with it but I really can't handle more hope and more love and then losing it again just like that. Being hopeless is the best way to stay okay
its still not poetry but now im brave enough to put it in the public section of hello poetry
Lavender Menace Sep 2020
I get up, I get down
yelling nothing, soundless sound.
say it wrong, try again
who is she? that's my friend
**** the spider, no remorse.
say i love you till my voice is horse.
cats that bite, autumn joy.
living life like a toy.
uninspired, not okay.
brightroom sings, end of day.
im bored, and tired i just wanna go home but i dont know where it is i want to go home.
Lavender Menace Sep 2020
silky soft lemon honey under my tip tapping feet, jaywalking like a rebel and singing off beat.

**** these are the days, the darling, feather collecting, breathing in that melody of what your all telling me.

these are the days biyatch!

setting fires in the street , living just for that beat, scars on my feet, oh yeah baby hope these days never end.

( just don't consider the creeping feeling of time ticking, stealing all the youth all the time the beauty of life just take some flakka to forget that your soon going to die why w h y W H Y?)

oh yeah hon these are the days getting down with those gays living life just for praise, yeah we'll live never sleep feel like the wind run until you can't feel your legs skip math class, **** in the bathroom, watching your laugh. Oh god I hope to hell this never ends oh sugar this **** aint gonna end!

(ignore those little whispers in your head don't let your eyes betray you or you may end up dead) ****!!

these days are never gonna end when we're screaming in the halls about broken amends. cherry stained fingertips, sour candy, lovely lips. yeah thease are the days living just for the plays drinking 1600 grams of caffeine a second.

we smoke that grass on the stairs, getting 16 cigarette burns and trying to cut each others hair.

and all the dead cells we seemingly earn is another lesson we refuse to learn.

oh baby these are the days that we live forever burning paper men like witches baby these are the days!!

(oh please just forget about those crying nights, when I hit you with the belt. smokeing our lungs out, oh this ******* H U R T S. you havent escaped this yet with every breath of nigotine 22 seconds disspear)

yeah lets live forever darling, together on this rooftop loving, smootching with the vynl playing, speeding high as god down the abandoned freeway givin society zero leeway. let's be together and i'll never leave you behind, sneaking down the fire escape and running far far away, from this old ***** tonky town to a forest by the sea, broken quartz in the ground and spiders cobwebs tumble down, loving all alone together just you and I. sleeping in flower fields and staring at the sky.

(until we're hunted down by blue men with guns, shot like a deer burned at the stake. for freedom is punishable by death, stay afraid and hollow until you have literally nothing left, but the free realise of death)

we're gonna live forever and never be alone. dewdrops on my eyelids, stained glass on your toes. stay with me please don't be scared there's nothing looming over our sweet heads together we can take on the nothing we face, together face to face. and no matter how bleak the world seems to get lets live in the moment and love our regrets, don't think just live!

I love you

(I love you)
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imehsahdehahs Aug 2020
I never thought

I could reach this far

I'm twenty-two today

more sadness & loneliness

august, you're making me cry

my eyes are sleepy i'm not feeling fine

I might start cutting my Skin

if only I could live just for today

leave yesterday, wake up, wake up

happy birthday to me
letters to basil Mar 2020
dear quinn,

looking for something
to fill you up
only leaves you
more empty.

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