Sometimes, I want to disappear
To find in the void my new now and here
To go back to a state of non-existence
Where life begins anew because it ends
Yet the body wants no death
It longs for no last breath
It wants to dance and jump and run
To bathe in the ocean and feel the sun
But the soul can't see the light
Quiet desperation, a daily fight
Long is the way out of this mess
Can't I get a new one and start fresh?
I had some beautiful words in my mind but the disappear like your love has left my life.
I GOT AN A FOR MY HISTORY TEST AND I'M SO PROUDDDD
I wonder, are you really glad?
Or are you lying? Are you sad?
Understanding people is hard to do.
Especially people like you.
You smile and seem happy all the time.
But when you're alone, you don't seem fine.
I worry a lot. You should know.
I would tell you but my words can't flow.
I worry that you're just lying.
Being my friend and smiling.
I'm worried I'm not good enough.
I'm worried about what we'll become.
And you know, I worry too much.
To what I see to what I touch.
If you need to talk, I'l be here.
So don't worry, I won't disappear.
I know enough and become don't really rhyme but you know, that's fine.
there's a boy
you see him before you fall asleep in class
his presence kisses your eyelids as you drift away from the droning words of the teacher
he sits in the back of the room, hands tangled in his hair
the next day he doesn't sit in his little corner
he sits next to you
he smiles at you and introduces himself as a name you don't remember
he smells like a few things that don't mix
original old spice deodorant
peach and cinnamon
and ax spray
he grins with canines that are just a little too sharp
he talks with a voice that's a little too far away
there's a boy
you read his writing, poetry and songs
he writes a little too heavenly and too fast
you watch him laugh, he has too many enemies
he drinks a lot of energy drinks, mostly peach and mango and he only chews cinnamon gum
he always talks to you
you make him feel better when he's on edge
there's a boy
you realize you do and don't know him at the same time
he doesn't like bright lights and he's always dizzy
it took you a long time to notice how covered in scars he was
you asked him to sit away from you and he does
he moves back to that little corner
its like his own world over there, he almost disappears
you miss him and the day you mean to tell him that
there was a boy
he was like icarus and romeo
you don't remember his name except his old desk still says
this may be my favorite
Have you ever left yourself
On and on, the thought keeps
It reoccurs every so often
When we get distracted
you loose sight
of that particular moment
It occurs then
maybe it wasn't as important
As you thought...
Yet you can't help
why you thought it once was
a thought now gone...
I want to disappear.
Straight into the abyss
But it is almost my birthday.
In 2 hours
So why do I feel like ****?
I **** at all the things I'm BEST AT.
That's how I feel now.
Sorry to ruin everything for everyone.
I will go away now.
Please God, pray let me disappear somehow.
Allow me to ultimately succumb to my fate;
Spill down onto the sidewalk
along with the other helpless raindrops
and slide into the gutter.
Allow me to finally let go
of the blissful, blue balloon;
fall to the ground,
and disintegrate in midst of the dirt.
Allow me to disappear
Forever and always;
into thin air,
like a cloud of dark fairy dust.
Allow me to cry
a flood of tears and sorrow;
enough to fill an ocean
Deep and Wide.
Allow me to bask in this
dark void of emptiness
that fills my mind and chest;
rendering me plainly incapable.
Please, just let me go.