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There's something I desire
more than other things.
I can't stop this craving;
this longing to be free.

Maybe in another life, place, or time
bigger than you and me,
I'd be running through a flower field,
or exploring new cities.

Honestly I just want to run,
run far, far, away..
I wish I didn't care what they all say,
I'm sick of all this ****.
The tricks, and the gimmicks
Why cant I run away from it all?

Is it the rules I was given?
Or maybe the trauma I can't fix?
The way I start and always stop
just to get stuck in the midst?

The flashbacks that don't stop
or the drugs I just throw up,
I'm too scared to take the hint and
start to think "maybe I'm just not meant for this."

Even though I know,
I want to run so far away from here
and stop caring what they say.
I'm sick of all this ****.
The lies they make me say.
Why can't I just listen to my soul?

I hear her yelling deep inside,
telling me I should just go!
She says I can leave any time,
to where, I might not know.

I just can't fathom what might happen,
when I'm all on my own.
I'm scared it won't be worth it,
but what might happen if I don't go?

I'm tangled up in a mess,
the mess of life versus dreams.
It's a ribbon I'm afraid to untie,
because of this it'll always haunt me.
I look back on the years spent.
Like cheap coupons.
Cutting out sections of my life.
Living between black and white lines.
Expectations paper thin.
Hoping the change I had.
Would cover the difference I needed.
The dark unknown hiding fees.
Banking on the fact.
That I never check my blind spot.
Blindsided by percentages.
Sideswiped by statistics.
Its a numbers game.
What are you willing to waste.
On trying to make a life worth living
Throwing away moments like singles at a *******.
But only the ones unneeded.
Needless to say..
One could go broke.
Arguing semantics.
Its been a long minute since I posted. Lost a love but gained a purpose. All thats left is finding balance.
How can you not see?
How can you not know?
Not hear

The manipulation beneath the concern
It may be real to them
The concern

“I just want what’s best”
For you
(For them)

“Best” is a narrow place to be
Pressure from all sides, pinning you in place

You’re just a puzzle piece
If you won’t make yourself fit in your place
They’re happy to help you cut off
                                                             the parts that don’t fit

Their image
Their vision for their world

It’s hard to resist
When they believe their own press
That they are the savior
The martyr

The truth is

They are a spider
And to be free of their web
Sometimes requires

Cutting all ties
The original version used female gendered pronouns, because that is true to my life and experience, but that felt too narrow, so this is a version with non-gendered and/or non-singular pronouns
How can you not see?
How can you not know?
Not hear

The manipulation beneath the concern
It may be real to her
The concern

“I just want what’s best”
For you
(For her)

“Best” is a narrow place to be
Pressure from all sides, pinning you in place

You’re just a puzzle piece
If you won’t make yourself fit in your place
She’s happy to help you cut off
                                                         the parts that don’t fit

Her image
Her vision for her world

It’s hard to resist
When she believes her own press
That she is the savior
The martyr

The truth is

She is a spider
And to be free of the web
Sometimes requires

Cutting all ties
Willow SR Jun 13
I felt your tidal wave of expectations
Flowing down on me
I thought it was a miracle I didn't drown
You told me I should have built a boat
Sometimes just getting by is okay.
I am drowning in the sea of your expectations of me.
Maybe I am not the one you really need
You are in love with the idea of what I can be.
But if I ever do that, how will I ever be me?.
Opinions,
Knives impaling frail muscles.
Their weight becomes,
Much to cumbersome.
Pia V Apr 24
She christened me a sailor.
I didn’t want to be one.
She christened me a sailor.
I didn’t want to be one.
She christened me a sailor.
I didn’t want to be one.
She christened me a sailor.
I didn’t want to be one.
She christened me a sailor.
I didn’t want to be one.
She christened me a sailor.
I did not want to be one.
She christened me a sailor.
I didn’t want to be one.
She christened me a sailor.
I realized how useful knots could be.
I did all the drugs
And I drank at the pubs
And I fought in the lots
And I ran from the cops
And I did everything
They tell you that you shouldn't do

But now I'm diagnosed
Cause my heart's end is close
Cause it's growing way thicker
And it's making me sicker
Genetically inclined
To die before my time

They sent me to church
Because I'm in the lurch
Told me I should pray
'Fore my life goes away
And I prayed really hard
That they would just go *******

But now I'm lying in bed
And my heart's full of lead
My pulse has gone stagnant
And my thoughts are jagged
Would I change a thing?
No, no, not for you!
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