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Estel Jun 2
Yeah I don’t know how to quite explain it
Why I do the things I do
You wouldn’t believe me if I told you
But it’s a whole mess up inside my head
Some days I don’t wanna get out of bed
I’m my worst critic
Always being so cynical
Sometimes it even gets physical

Inside I feel so dull
Not pretty like a doll
I’m no genius
And I got a lot of missing pieces
I can’t take a joke

And last time I spoke
You might of taken it the wrong way
But no blame on you
I know it’s all on me

I try so hard to keep my emotions at bay
But if you said “hey
Tell me what your feeling”
You might see what I’m concealing
So don’t look too far
You’ll just see scars

It’s a waste of your precious time
Just ask me “how are you”
So I can say I’m fine
It’ll do.
Estel May 26
While you leave
I’ll say “just let me be”
But behind the mask
Is a sea of tears
I wish you’d come back
It’s everything I feared…
I’m just not good enough.
Though Ethiopian
Orthodox patriarch
Unfortunately, as
I’m not race blind
Please excuse
My being
A tad pitiful and kind
To the political Judas
From my Ethnic side,
You see such
An act has become
A political fad
Even if
That sounds bad.
.
Mind you, at times
Devoid of reason
Oblivious to God
The pious mind
To a halt could grind.
Intoxicated with bigotry
Excuse me the hill
As a mountain
And also vise versa
If I find.
You see with vampires,
Who opened the door
For my current position,
For 3 decades I had dined.

Please forgive
My blind eyes to the
Whole truth till today,
Also skipping
The commandment
”You shall not lie!”
To my likes
A word of support
Tolerate me to say!
Is it not how the adage
Runs?
“While the sun shines
Make hay!”

About the genocide
In Mai Kadra—on par with
Auschwitz—
Why should I worry?
Because it was
My likes, shedding blood
Who likes, suffering
A defeat,
That opted to hack
The innocent
And to efface track
Victims to bury
Were in a hurry.

Also the blood flood
In other parts of
The country—Metekle,
Wellega— didn’t
Draw my attention
You see
Terrorizing the region
Was my likes’ objective,
While I was pretentiously
On Christian mission.
So condoning that
I have to commit
Crime by omission
Also I had
To indulge in
Crime by commission
Drawing a big attention
To possible complication
That attended ENDF’s
Law-enforcement operation.
Than the root cause
A question I’ve to pose
On the attendant ill
Beget by own debacle
For it allows vicious cycle.

Firing rockets
And proving unruly
Judas that hail from my race
Were to wipe out
Fellow neighbors,
From earth’s face
“Man is created in
God’s image! ”
Was shrouded by
Our rage.

All troubles
That, we see
Everywhere in
Ethiopia today, are
TPLF junta’s deed
Junta the fiend
That sowed
A hatred seed.
But, now exposed,
The culprits
My support
Terribly need
I must pat them
On the back indeed.
True to
WHO’s Director General
Abusing my position
Let me cry foul
So that TPLF remnants
Get a stalemate.
You see
An oasis in a desert
They terribly need
How could I
Fail that to heed?

In courting trouble
TPLF was proactive
Reactive were those
On the other side
But this I like
To systematically hide.
Conniving with
Insincere NGO workers
I could enjoy a media ride
To be the security
Council’s untruthful guide
And so called great nations
On the toe to sniff possible
Shortfalls from Ethiopia’s side
And ready to swim against
The truth tide,
Though this is
Dragged to light and
Known far and wide!
So to speak
They could encourage me
An asylum to seek
Honest traitors as they
Adore hand to pick.

Who said a patriarch
Could not be naughty?
Going out of
My religious duty
I will give
A kiss of life
To world-ever
Terrorist party.
.
History has it that
There were pops
Who blessed
Military arsenals like
Artillery and tank
If so, why not
I give a statement
Behind Synod’s back.

May God
Forgive my sin
For the heart of
The credulous
With my
Sanctimonious face
I could win!

Please excuse me
I’m not race-blind
And
Sanctimonious patriarch
One could ever find!
TPLF is a party
By the Ethiopian parliament
Unanimously dubbed
Terrorist and naughty
But
As blood is thicker than water
Supporting it is my duty.

Soldiers who spent
Almost their entire life
In garrison and barrack
Did suffer by my likes’ attack
Behind their back
Though their blood
Cries before God
Please excuse me
I have to favor
Mourning-Killers
From my abode!
Kitty May 8
I’m sorry I told you the things that I said I wouldn’t  say
Because I trusted you
It took you 20 seconds alone with them to tell them
I said it out of anger
I said it out of fear
I said it because what she did was unacceptable

And so I probably shouldn’t have told you
Should have known better
Because I know that I’m your best friend
But being popular is more important
To you
And what I said was said in anger
And you thought I didn’t know
When I walked into the room and you fell silent
The only word “snake”
Or the person you were on face time to
As I drove past
I know when you’re lying
Don’t call me ignorant

Because I didn’t mention it when you
Called me fat
Or called me dramatic
Or spoke about my biggest secret in front of everyone else
Or ignored me
And stood me up
So many times because fifteen minutes is not enough warning
And I didn’t want to get embarrassed in front of my mother for having such a ****** friend
So I sat alone
In the park at night
And we all know what happens to girls alone in the park at night.

But I didn’t mention it
Because I didn’t want to blame you
She was the irresponsible one
I was just doing my job
Cheering them on
Doing the right thing
Whilst she stared and whispered
All I said was that I “expected better”
And you told her because why the **** not

She’s more popular than me
She’s the centre of attention
She can get anyone on her side
But I must have forgotten I can’t tell you that
Because you’ll tell her
And that **** *****.
I am aware this isn't the best but i wrote this last night after i was betrayed by my best friend after i told her something that i felt about someone and she went straight to tell them because she seeks her approval more that mine.
Martin Boško Apr 27
Lying in the garden
On the Earth’s green grass
Holding hands together
As we talk about the clouds
We study them and look for clues
Of what the future holds
We watch the fluffs, white on blue
Seeing shapes, a story told

We lie on grass until night
Relaxing in embrace
Having fun in the lovers’ garden
On Earth, the happiest place
The wind is playing with the trees
The sky is full of stars
We talk about what the other sees
And enjoy the lovely smell of grass
We were in over our heads
A sea of addiction crashing down
We had a chance to wash ashore
I chose to swim with you and drown

Bass bumping through car speakers
Late nights fading to day
We did everything our hearts desired
Until reality got in the way

Beside you our struggles didn't matter
Presence shielded eyes from the dark
Somehow evaded every suspicion
Inserted a period to replace question mark

Then some insecure whispers
Began filling my bones with doubt
Their criticisms were too large
For brain to block it out

How could what felt so right bring me down?
After being high for so long?
To this day I could never long for another's
Blue stare cause with you I belong

You said we would get married someday
Have the family we always dreamed
I should have known your teeth were shut when you spoke
Words were lies though then honest they all seemed
You lie through your teeth
Lunar Apr 8
Born in different worlds we became unalike people
Its funny they say opposites attract but really it should have been illegal
Cause sometimes our differences make it painful to stay
We laugh and chat but I have to disguise my pain
Whenever I'm sad I reminisce about our past and ignore why I am mad
I give you reasons and covers, throw my feelings in the trash
Its not your fault cause I never say
But why cant you recognise how miserable I am some days
Why did I ever let it get this bad?
Is it you or is it me that I'm disappointed at

By Lunar
Estel Mar 12
Denying, complying
Say they’re in love
Just to stop the crying
All just trying to find it
That one thing that’ll never leave
But you see it’s buried down so deep
The path that you take is always so steep
The future seems so meek
Nothing’s what it used to be
Why won’t you look at me
Tell me what you feel
You know I just wanna be real
But in the end
We’re all just faking it to make it.
under the weight of the universe,
a breath becomes a miracle
against the law of nature, the pervasive
cling of gravity on everything it touches.

every bit of me is against
the pull of the earth. my ribs heave.
it satiates the hunger of my lungs
for space, for its place.

when I tire, and succumb to the force
demonstrate that in my most serene
- supine and asleep, I fought to live,
for every breath is a miracle.
i haven't written in a year. it seems as if the pandemic drained me so much more than i thought it could.

may we find rest during these trying times.

a.s.
JM Cazemier Feb 7
I will admit it,
I'm the best liar.
A smile for you,
don't  worry for me,
even crack a joke,
old me would do.

I won't ever flinch,
statue of grace.
I'm not in pain,
I'm just stretching,
we all get tired,
I jawn and explain.

I will do the task,
soldier throught it.
I can do it myself
even when I can't,
so you think me better,
that's all I want.
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