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Jeremy Betts Oct 2022
With the flippant fear of a proudly clueless onlooker, another forgettable observer
I stare out over the breaking waves to see if I can't see a few things clearer
In a sense in search of innocents and the essence of this monstrous heckler I've been entrusted to not only tame but conquer
Maybe find bits and pieces of meaning here or there for this opaque character and it's seemingly insignificant blip on life's radar
They say all of our lives are important and as a whole they are, for sure, but A life, singular, doesn't even measure
On a timeline reaching back past the beginning of forever to the outer limits of what we know so far it can't possibly matter
Somewhere in there is an answer but I swear, don't let it be just another jump scare
I can bare no more, take me outta here becomes the newly revised prayer screamed into the ether
I'm not the star here, nor did I properly prepare for the cameo roll in my own B movie disaster picture.
I've done what was asked of me even when not fare, even as the nightmare went unchecked, haunting my every endeavor.
If this is expected to go on for the foreseeable future how much of my downfall am I going to be held accountable for?
Every battle the same as the one before, it can be torcher but y'all clap with the desire for an encore
Like your entertainment and the roar of the crowd is what I'm just barley holding on for
Then the face of an absent father figure puts a untimely hand on my shoulder, a whisper of congrats for making it though yet another war
That's every **** day sir, so excuse me for not going out of my way to carpe any of those diems mother fuucker
At the same time
I was so sure that I was finally able to procure the mindset to endure my own lour
But nobody seemed to eager to tell me that reality is a relentless attention *****
Making sure to hide the shore and provide only a broken ore to navigate a sea of insecure insecurities hell bent on devouring my core
Can't help but to take a little more than a fare share when there's so much dispair and dispair is their preferred flavor
And that's what I'm in store for, give or take some gore just to mitigate the bore
Remove all signs of the cancer and watch the stock soar, can't prosper dragging a dead weight anchor
Cut ties and wave goodbye to the failure, take out the pinch hitter cause that personality wasn't any better
A life changer for the better, now willing and wanting to keep score as a reminder of how bad it was before
Never again let the dark passenger take the wheel and steer, unless it's to steer clear
Forget looking backward, remove the rearview mirror and note the side mirror as truth, the atrocities are far closer than they appear
Tossin' small bits of anarchy out the driver side window, flipping the bird and quoting the Raven, "nevermore."

Jeremy Betts Sep 2022
Listen closely when I say this, I don't want to be this, seemingly utterly and socially useless, maybe I spoke it into existence
Best case scenario, this is a ridiculous place to claim as my residence but I never bothered to put forth any resistance
I sit motionless yet some how makin' progress but of course it's lackluster at best, barely a measurable distance
Still forced to press on through 39 rounds of this rigged contest, feeling foolish in lue of my new found cluelessness
Pretending my grip on reality isn't bogus, wishing it was possible to possess more than just a faulty compass
And what good is a shoulder angel drunk off two fifths, ******* me with the devils fist and a strap-on apparatus
How'd it get like this? Was there an exit I missed? Who put destiny up to this?
It's been a continuous loosing battle with this mentality of a defeatist and it means business with tape from wrist to fist
Feel as helpless as a fetus once outside the ****** in the eyes of half of Congress, ******* preposterous
An optimistic pessimist trapped inside a pessimistic optimist, chew on this, I claim the glass itself is a myth
Flip flop from avoiding to chasing deaths kiss, back and forth with reckless abandon that's settin' dangerous precedents
Hiding this incurable, terminal illness in plain sight, a relentless and ravenous sickness
Cancerous thoughts are more than an irritating noosance, it's a merciless menice encased in madness
What am I supposed to learn from this? They say everyone plays the fool sometimes but this is ridiculous, plus, I don't see the purpose
A phony realist, a visually impaired key eye witness. Who hears the crys for help from within the shadows of darkness?
Don't tell me it's the same heartless putts in charge of forgiveness, I need real help so I'm gonna pass on the self-righteous
Is there anybody who knows and could possibly tell me if then why I actually exist
Could they, would they let me know how long all this bull shiits gonna persist?
An existential crisis, I'll give you the knife if you promise to twist and leave it in my back for others to witness
There I am, atop of my own hit list and shiit list, racing toward the top spots like it's a goal I refuse not to witness
Take a shot, I insist, do or do not, there is no try with a mind overwhelmed with sadness
Tripped and slipped and fell head first into madness, it's my ****** up opus, I don't know where hope is
The line between good and evil seems seamless, can't beet 'em join 'em so I tried to harness the darkness, obviously a swing and a miss
I'm the catalyst of my own demize, an apologist for this Hyde side I can't evict with any permanence
Utterly incapable, physically and mentally unable to trespass him from the premises
So I come unglued at the seems and fall to pieces below the surface, letting life continue it's nonconsensual coitus
Here's my thesis, it's better for the masses if I continue suffering in silence and not be anyone elses regrets
Build a wall around this temple, turn open boarders to a closed fortress
No exit or entrance, not allowing me in your presence while keeping life at a distance
Not sure I'll survive this but let's be honest, I don't really need to venture a guess
Let's just say the answer is not a simple yes but it's my reality none the less

Ruhani Aug 2022
"You seem a little lost
"where are you headed to miss"
I looked back at the bald monk
his face beaming supple and warm
"I don't know! that is why am here
you have all the wisdom-
so tell me where do I belong.
Monk held my hand,
hand soft like petals of rose
"your path is already mapped
just believe in self and go forth".
"But how do I know if am moving right
what if I fall and never find the light".
Isn't it life to shuffle between white and greys
if I tell you everything
there is no sense in living your days
so fall or fight
slouch or stand upright
it's your life after all
own your defeats and wins however small
you are here, merely to witness the whole.
Lawrence Hall May 2022
Lawrence Hall

                              A Pasty Boy in Knee-Pantsies
               Lectures on the Supremacy of Gun Ownership
                             Over Access to Baby Formula

You say our baby’s starving?
Don’t bother me with that
As long as I got me my gun
To rat-a-tat-tat!
Landon Keys Jun 2021
Incase of Emergency
Open the..
Ah, who am I kidding.
It's been open since the day you left.
jǫrð Jan 2021
Cumbersome, I am
Under some profound stress, and
I'm clueless at best
The History: Fumbling my way through this world, stressed 98.7% of the time.
Celestial Dec 2020
I was in my dreamland.
The safe place I had made,
In childhood, to keep myself.
Disturbed I barely woke.

Impaired I thought,
If I go back I'll wake,
It will be over and I won't remember.
I don't remember much.

It continued,
I felt more come off.
More words were spoken.
People, "She can take it, I asked."

No such question was answered,
From me at least.
My limp body positioned upward.
My place gone, coherence erupted.

I was screaming at me,
NO! Move do something.
A soft "no" was whispered, and I fell.
Fully exposed now, I walked.

"Are you ok?" "I'm going to take a shower."
The water softened my skin.
The door opened. "Could you not?"
"It doesn't matter. Does it."
Worst parts of my life.
lilac Nov 2020
these songs i wrote,
the chorus intertwined with thoughts of you,
you sing along without a clue.

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