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jon 22h
I'm not afriaid to die, I don't necessarily wanna be alive
I used to think I could never take my life and leave my family hanging, but I can't help this pain from my heart aching
One day it'll be alright that's what I keep hearing, but they ain't there when my mind is goin crazy
I didn't ask for this but if you did I'd say its ******* *******

Speeding through traffic, thinking to myself I want to let go of the wheel
My thoughts are suicidal, my manic mind is my one true rival
I didn't grow up with the best role models, hold up gimme a sec, I gotta finish this bottle
Faded as **** to numb my mind, with every sip I unwind
Blurred vision, slurred words, that's my negative grind
Turn around look up and feel the vibes, starry skies are my favorite nights.

Mary Jane and Tina ease the daily pain, but I also love smokin c
It puts so much strain on my body, and thoughts on my mind that're draining me
Thank the higher power or whatever the ***** out there for my family
The love they have for me helps me spiritually and emotionally
I'm talking about my mom mostly, she's my person

I appreciate it, through all the conflict
There's no resist when I need somethin
I can always count on her, I know I can get overwhelmed in this realm we call life
But that's when I grab my pipe and break a bud off the stem, smoke it, become myself again
I'm not stuck anymore, I'm free to be me  
I've dreamt of this reality because my childhood felt like an eternity
It's gonna be alright cuz the people all around got me
All this anxiety and in constant panic mode,
Some days you just gotta breathe and get through, just do you
No counting the seconds or minutes, stay present within your surroundings even if you feel like you're drowning
Deep breathing to know that you are okay, and that your soul is at peace for the day
My feet standing their ground, I'll make it sound with each step
Just let me do me, just let me breathe.
give me ugly
use your words to serrate my soul
paint me bad
lacerate your name into my tongue
whatever you do
do it for fun
because the impression
of your touch
burns like the birth of a star
the pressure from the nebula
collapses my lungs
stifle me with my own emotions
burn me to ash
I’m sry i haven’t been interacting with you guys’ stuff. I’ve been really busy and appreciate everyone taking the time to read over my dramatic feelings. This whole account has been so therapeutic and it means a lot to see that some of this stuff resonates or at least piques your interest
im trying my best to abstain
from the thoughts
that make me want to eat you alive
i used to rely on the hearts of others
nutrients of their blood to fulfill my thirst
the things we do more than satiate me
no longer do i need
to break the ribs of empty promise
in order to breathe
I slept in a little too late
a few days that week.

when the pharmacist called
about my prescriptions,
I didn't refill them
for the next month.

I forgot to eat breakfast
and maybe lunch
and I didn't remember
whether or not I ate dinner.

I didn't buckle my seatbelt
when I got into my car.

I didn't show up
when we made plans,
and eventually I stopped
making plans altogether.

I stopped joking about suicide
and you thought that
was a good sign,

but you didn't realize
I stopped joking
because this time,
I was serious.

when I hung up the phone
I said "goodbye"
instead of "goodnight."

and no one tried to stop me
because no one knew

because all of these little changes
seemed to mean nothing.

you didn't see
that I was hurting
until the tiles on
our bathroom floor
turned red.

you didn't see
that I was bleeding
until I had already bled out.

but on that day,
my story did not end.
my funeral was not
that weekend.
my death was not
on that Wednesday.



and now,
when I end the call,
I don't say "goodbye."

I never say "goodbye"
because tomorrow,
I will still be here.

even when it hurts
to simply get out of bed,
I will be here.

I will be here
because I am still breathing.
I am still alive

and there are so many
beautiful Wednesdays
that I haven't seen yet.
Mose 7d
Last year feels like a different life.
Maybe a past one or a parallel reality.
A life in which we were here, but never enough to know it.
Same artist but different album.
This year finally gave sound to melancholy.
A song I’ll never remember the words to, but the beat permeates forever in my heart.
Here we all dance silently to the same blues.
Feet sway with your sorrow.
There is no wrong step in weeping.
Take one breath and breathe it into the life taken away.
Let your sadness be every guest in the ballroom.
Sarah Flynn Oct 17
each moment that you survive
takes you one step closer
to the time when
things will be better.

it might still be far away.
it might not be an easy journey.

but right now,
you are reading this

which means you are awake

which means you are alive

which means that
you have survived
every single moment
up to this point.

you have survived
every heartbreak

every loss

every laugh

every smile

and

you have survived
through times where
you weren’t sure you could do it.
but you did.

and now, you are done reading.
now, you are a few minutes
and 127 words closer
to seeing better days.
better days are coming.
just keep reading.
just keep breathing.

keep breathing…
keep breathing…
keep breathing…
LC Oct 17
"i think i'm over you. i still imagine telling you everything, but without an undercurrent of romantic love. in my mind's eye, innocent smiles replace the longing stares. hugs replace the imagined romance. honesty replaces the moments when my tongue was tucked away within my palm.
sometimes my mind sings a sad song, which sends chills through my body and cracks my heart in the right places. the pain seeps through, and it hurts to breathe.
yet as my eyes succumb to the quiet pull of slumber, i see the light. when i wake up the next morning, my mind is clear, and my heart is free."
I'm friends with someone I used to love. It's a new beginning.
Strung Oct 15
Inferiority standing calmly in the middle of a misty lake.
Like magic, it floats atop a rippling plain.
Rest in the water, breathe deeply - the fool.
It hovers above as the bubble of air out of reach.
Drown drown in the void you create and breathe deeply
"I pity the corpses who lie in the lake," you say in the grasp of dead hands.

You are a force and your mind is the block, so do as you wish and lay still.
However long you gasp for air, you will die regretting free will.
vern Oct 14
do not be foolish again
I whisper to the beating sound in my chest
pressed against my lungs once again
it tells me you've lost your breath
do not fall let yourself get trapped in the same chaos
its a repetitive motion you know too well
do not let your self fall for another and fall back from another
you do not know love
you never knew love
the obsessions you hold to  
the fantasies you build
let them all go at once
save yourself
do not be foolish again
my love life is tragic but in a funny rom com sort of way where the character should probably just focus on herself
Spicy Digits Jul 16
Swollen eyes,
These headaches
Tell me to stay present
Do not fear
We're one and the same
The pulse of each vein.
This noise
These sounds
Are not like the others.
Sweet syrup,
And warm embrace
Drown out the buzzers.
This music,
The sky,
Breathe in the filtered light
Just breathe.
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