I’m avoiding a void, Freud warned me of
by worming my way in to the apple of my eye
I know it sounds paranoid as above so below
ground zero dark thirty where I heard the well runs dry.
Hell, I wonder why I try to quench my thirst for knowledge
from any dirty puddle when I’m at a cow college
‘cuz nowadays I rather cuddle up with a good book
than be-fuddled by how to transgress, ring a bell hooks?
Well looks deceive and I can guess
by the wings you have yet to receive
we have come to the some of nothing
from something I thought we were far beyond
but maybe I was wrong at the end of it all.
You said it wasn’t my fault but then again,
Freire taught me how to lock
away my thoughts in a vault.
I’m hemmed in with Hemingway in the corner of the café.
We spend half the day laughing at our neighbors savoring
their lattes but condemning how they stray away from nature
‘cuz labor’s not their taste.
He says, “What a waste of time.
Do you see a better paradigm?”
I agree because I was scared at the time
to embarrass myself in front of an idol of mine.
I know it’s futile to rival a dead mind
but when they’re better than the headlines
I don’t mind if I never shine brighter than a dying light
‘cuz it only really matters in the end if I’m trying right?
but what am I trying for when I lost a friend to love and war?
Cut the ties, I’m alive.
Who was I dying for?
Who was I fighting for?
Who was I writing for?
Shelby tells me where the sidewalk ends
and well, he’s been a better friend than you’ve ever been;
ever since you left me and met he who shall not be named
nor blamed for this game you played against us.
Again trust was just a part of it all.
I was miserable like Margaret Hall.
Withdrawals always reinforce walls of remorse
and of course, I’m the source of all your problems
but who took the time to resolve them?
You weren’t forced to endorse any course of action
except follow the laws of attraction.
Perhaps gravity magnifies abreaction
or the severity of abstraction.
Yet Apollo would swallow
all his pride and passion
hollow out his home
and throw a match in.
© Matthew Harlovic
How many will you all let loose
Fall to the system, hang to the noose
All just because you're chasing a goose
How can we win when we're calling a truce
Down to the ground, we're lost til we're found
Buried in sound, we're cool if we drown
Their words are like scripts
But you shake your head like you're hip
To the snake that can twist
A man into a cyst
You're hesitant but you're blessed
It's all compressed inside with signs to guide you to find what you need to realize to shed the horrible guise and end the demise of the guys that you've dealt with all your lives
It gives me the hives yet the honey gets flies
I'm not a lie yet they make me a size
And I go with them into my box like a prize
For the rest of the guys that knew we stood a chance
To finally be here hopping over that fence
Like the wall that couldn't keep us together
In a place so hot nobody wears a sweater
But they're sweating now, the whole crowd
Is coming down, can't settle down now
Your words cut the diamonds of crime and it's ties
The past is just a knife in our side
We all wish we could fly but never try to get by besides covering our hides
This constant demise is a guise for the wisdom
Carrying it to our family, it's all just tradition
Put it together until you out-dish them
We're feast on the heavens til eleven
Then drop the revenue that's been telling you to give in
It's certain you're battling yourself, belittling yourself to their wealth
Bowing down to the phrase "Listen up and behave"
It's madness we crave when we're in such a daze
And we're lazy about it cause what can we do
We're humans, we came from monkeys but we're brand new
Children of genetics, the science is a sentence
Putting us in our place like a menace
Why even play tennis with your conscience
Spill it out, secrets will show us all how to function
I've got a pedigree in mathematics but tell me
If 2 plus 2 is 4 why the children still hungry
You feel me? We're reeling in our own shit
We're tired of it, tracking it onto the red carpet
Another light shines stepping into the tar pit
...about to do FORTY YEARS...
This is akin to handing Socrates a poisoned vial
in his new documentary on HBO...
if it doesn't feel right
Does THIS feel right?
a million+white kids feel yah,
a million plus
TO GET OUT!
for cas ~/ 20 1 7 with the class / 6 on the 10 was the day i saw you last / never thought id walk the stage / never thought you'd walk away / now im runnin every day / seems a step head is where my problems play / hopefully instead of in the sheets in wich we used to stay tonight will be the night i end up in the grave / im fuckin Poppin pain pills / just to pass the days / painful ways / whats the point of life if we all pass away / smokin jays / high is how i like to stay / lets my mind run away / not gonna lie / im feelin so blue ~/ think i wanna die / when im here without you / never met a woman that / loved me like you do / fuck / ever hear the one about the nigga lettin loose / somthin somthin somthin an~ now the nigga blu / try an crack a joke an hear the silence in the room / when you went away had no idea on what to do / feelin like here lately i been loosin all my moves / the smiles at the party man that mask is never true / i lost my since of self / traded in for wealth / fuck a title belt / problems stay in stealth / i need my fuckin baby to keep me livin safely / kept the devil waitin now the due's is what he's taken / i said you must be mistaken see my life already vacant / so he took my one safe haven / yeah the drugs whent with my lady ~/ damn ~/ my life is crazy ~/ my mind is always hazy ~/ clouded with the deprications / getten fuckin lazy ~/ i need to get back out an quite depreciaten / lettin go of contemplatin / fuck the need of validation ~/ yeah ~ /think its time to leave you in the past ~/ for cas ~/ my love / no more love ~/ forever always fallin fast ~/ you are my last ~/ you are my last ~/ you are my last ~~/ you are my last ~/ you are my last ~/ you are my last
Loyalty and power,
I gotta take a shower,
My salary’s forgiveness
In history I cower.
The sharpest devils were created in wealth – in wealth
That money power getting bad fa ya health – fo yo health
I climb the lady of liberty
Holding the fire of infamy
Damn girl, how tall ya. gotta. be?
How much a man gotta pay for a woman to be free?
If it costs him his life, the debt is paid
For just an hour a day, living death is the wage
I can’t even start about the water we wade
Constituting ignorance, no more to a slave.
I predict the government will feed on your hate
And product your anger to the tricks of the trade.
There’s more to the story,
I’m pissed and poorly,
Ganked and gory,
Just ignore me,
Cents and sore knees, forgetting my name is Jason? Lord, please!
They’re brainwashing with
Know what you’re in fo
Turn on the telly, the venue, is
Just another place for kids, welcome,
We’ve got another murder for your cerebellum,
Mosh! Jump up, jump up, and don’t frown, when
They murdered more babies in jars.
That is if your mother’s in a jam...
I don’t know, half past midnight in the twilight zone,
Which means absolutely nothing when a dog is a bone
Under your house
When you mistake your cat for a mouse.
How many things do I have to get backwards
For you to realize I’m doing math with slick words
Calculating fascination, a concoction, a plantation
Of seeds so small they appear not to exist
Turn the page and out comes a fist
Rattling down the road is canned laughter
Wait up a minute I’m down in the rafters.
i kissed the sky on a windless night
and tasted sunlight on my tongue.
i peaked on a wingless flight.
some might say i’m mystified
by the mystery of happiness and misery
so i retrace my history
to a time when i was young
and held a hunger
for the wonders of world
before i was thirsty for some girl.
sundered by the sunburns;
one learns to discern his past
and turn to the hands of time,
turning sand into glass.
© Matthew Harlovic