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I am always losing friends,
my love never meets their ends,
i never amount to what they wish,
i never serve them the right dish,
of care and love,
now i am just a dead dove,
i am suffocated in dying peace,
drowning in it as if it were grease,
please don't leave me in this despair,
i will lose my mind but they won't care,
the always leave,
i never receive,
the love i know i deserve,
to think they have enough nerve,
to take my everything,
and not one gift of love they bring,
i am done with friends for life,
they are nothing but sickness and strife.
You're just another ******* hidden under the name of God.
You're soon to be 40
I'm nowhere near 30
I hate you so much now, I only wish you bad
I hope you'll die soon, wasn't your plan to be closer to God?
All your ******* ****** beliefs broke us apart.
And I feel a LOSER falling in your trap of love.
I hope you'll read this and understand that you shouldn't exist
A mistake you were always, an angry ******* beast.
So upset with my ex. Tired of all the things I had to go through for him. I'm tired of thinking about him.
Eleanor Sinclair Nov 2018
Maybe in another life I will be something less painful than a human
Fewer feelings and emotions and ridiculous devotions
Perhaps a butterfly so I may sprout wings to go wherever I please
To escape when I want and live among the trees
To be free from the mortal bonds which bind me still
Being crushed by those who see me as a bent and dying daffodil
I am viewed as a damaged and battered being
Yet it seems as though my outside casing is the only thing people are seeing
My mind is quiet foggy but my folded stems are not painful
They just distort my appearance and for that I'm quiet thankful
Because if those who care were to ignore my imperfections
Then by chance I could avoid societal dissection
Let me return as a creature without sense or thought
Then I will never be caught thinking of what I used to be
I'll be free from the prospect that the world ruined me
I thought I was alone in this place of misery
But I was soon brought out and could see clearly, instantly
Love was the lens I needed for sight
But now like the butterfly, it has left to take flight
There once was a time when the world brought me joy
Until I found people who sadistically poison and destroy
Now I again must revert back to nature
In the end it is all I have left...
Sooner or later
there i am shaking like leaves on a tree
scared like a little child
and i am conflicted either i should run or scream or kick and fight
but i don't do anything
anything at all
I close my eyes and pray it's over
just like i learned to do with those men as a child
just close your eyes and wait
your weight on me is crushing me
your grunts are disgusting
I was asleep when you woke me in such an abrupt way
now i can't sleep at all
over the fear you might climb inside me again
but this time i didn't run or scream or kick and fight
I laid on my back with my eyes closed as you took apart of me i thought i finally got back, you took my control away again
Unknown Jul 2018
I will forever and always be known as the 'quiet girl',
the one that does not talk,
is too quiet for her own good,
and is considered weird.

"why don't you talk?" they ask,
"you're so emotionless, talk more."
"smile more."

your words hurt me, over and over again.
why will no one accept me for the way I am?
your very own words make me hate myself.

hate how quiet I am,
hate how I enjoy being in my own thoughts,
hate who I am as a person.

even when I try to talk more, you knock me down with your -
"wow, she's actually talking."
because being 'quiet' isn't cute nor hot to others.

I will forever and always be known as the "quiet girl"
and I  f e a r  that I will always hate myself for being quiet.
for those who feel as though they are judged by their quietness, for those who feel like no one understands and accepts the way they are.

side note: this is a huge problem I have been dealing with this year and I encourage you to use your words nicely and maybe approach someone if they look lonely. it makes us feel like someone actuallycares about us.
Saint Audrey Jun 2018
A blinding
Hopeless inclination towards a blending of nostalgia
And something just a twinge surreal.
Too enraptured, perhaps, or too locked inside the senses
The search takes me places, to small shards that I don't quite comprehend.
Still unsure why, if I can't, or I just don't want to.

Silently sipping dime store coffee from an old familiar mug.
Soaking in solitude, rife with memory.
Touched lightly by the hem of rose tint, blooming in the spreading flames.
As the old wooden paneling, tried as a tinderbox
Begins to peel away, affected by the heat.
A fire, awakening with the first rays of morning.
To warm up the little room, as the walls softly fall, turning to ashes.
Revealing the bare frame.
And the fauna outside begins to show itself
Sprinkled with dew, gently turning away the flames.
Contained to her walls, they smolder and die as the day takes its course.

But for now, I still crawl through creation.
Hopeless, I'll never recapture...
Ignoring new context, engulfed in a rapture
With the past still dancing through my head.
There’s too much venom in our veins,
This will never feel the same.
Even our midnight talks about the deepest parts of our hearts are filled with the pain we can’t let go.
Like we’re at each other’s throats.
We could be as many years removed as we please but you and me can never be,
As close as we were so sure we were something unique.
Surely nothing would break us but here we are shattered and the only thing we see is who we were in that moment.
And those people are different on both sides and you have the audacity to call me arrogant while in the same breath you refuse to acknowledge your fault in all of this.
Guilty of so much I will be the bigger person and slink away and let you take your place in some far away maybe I’ve let go of long ago.
I’m not built for this.
Too many goodbyes have passed my lips but here’s to one more, hoping I can cry about one less girl.
Keep my thoughts to myself until you leave and find that no matter how hard I try I can’t keep this inside.
It’s over. It’s done.
God put you in my life for a reason but I’m done listening to false hope.
You will always see yourself as superior, just as you always have and I will be a window to other things.
Well I’m not opening for you again.
Kevin J Taylor Oct 2017
Let each hate, and ours for his,
Be scraped away. Hopefully
He cared for some— At least the few
That may have cared for him.

Allow unchanged what good remains.
At length, with love or hate or both,
We go. In time, some with pause
And some without, return.
Not all poems survive. I've lost a few and let others go. My current collection of poems is available on Kindle. It is called "3201 e's" (that is approximately how many e's are in the manuscript which is a very unpoetic title but a reflection on the creation of poetry by common means.)
Celeste Briefs Nov 2017
In the deepest
Hole in our
Lives a hateful place
Called ****

Where hunters
Evils untold
Death and fire
In hateful harmony

In the deepest
Hole in our
Is an evil queen
Called Human

She tempts
And slashes
And deceives
And steals
From those
With hearts

In the deepest
Hole in our
Is a civilization
Called Nature

Both dark
And light
Inhuman objects
Fighting for
Killing each other
With hateful glee

From the deepest
Hole in our
Screams a hateful place
Called ****
Ok, listen...I'm not 100% sure what was going through my head when I wrote this, but I must have been cynical as **** at the time. I was probably also crazy, but then I'm crazy now, so it's hard to tell. Anyways, enjoy and try not to read too far into it.
Contoured Oct 2017
In an alternate world,
Everything was fine.
I could love them all,
The attention was mine.

The problem is,
That world doesn't exist.
I live in reality,
Directly in the midst.

My mind is erratic,
I can't take much more.
My heart is numb,
And my conscience sore.

For all these problems,
I am the host.
We've all made mistakes,
But I've made the most.
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